Day 1

That night without you, I cried for hours,

(Hoping and praying nobody heard me but alas, the music wasn't enough to drown the sound of my sobbing)

To the point that my eyes were red and puffy.

(My eye was bleeding I have been crying for hours from the days prior: we weren't okay, and I knew it)

I looked at my screen seeing your last message,

(I was still willing to wait for you, I wanted to talk to you like I always do, love)

Hoping that it wouldn't be the last time

(Deep down I knew it was, but I couldn't just believe it yet)

My heart feels like it's been ripped out of my chest.

(You weren't my first heartbreak, yet it just somehow feels different)

Even if I knew I had to accept it,

I couldn't help but be in denial.

(I loved you long enough hon, to the point that I got attached and learned to accept you)

I wasn't able to sleep that night.

(I tried so hard to ignore my thoughts, I didn't know you had such an effect to me)

Our memories kept playing in my head.

(I couldn't remember when it all went wrong)

I know I thought about my decision for long enough.

(That point, it's been months that I've been mourning something that hasn't yet died.)

But I had to turn to my friends for help, it'd be awkward if I ask my mom right?

(I regret doing that because they took matters in their own hands... They were the ones who messaged you)

They were there to support me and give me the much-needed courage.

(Yeah, I know hon, I could be cowardly at times.... That's why I think everything inside me got pent-up because I couldn't bring myself to talk to you about our problems... I didn't want to hurt you my love)

That day, we actually had lost a school event, yet I was more upset about our situation.

(I knew what had to be done...)

Then you said the question I hated the most… It always instantly drives me to tears.

(Remember what is it hon?... "do you want to break up with me?")

I didn't get tired of you, it was just that I had to choose between you and me.

(but I knew deep down, if I choose you, I'd betray myself, my mother, and if I choose me, I'd be betraying my promise to you.)

It was a hard decision really, I was already under pressure with school and I had problems, so I chose me.

(Don't get me wrong love, I still love you but that night I saw, I saw how you didn't fight for me, for us…)

With a heavy heart I answered your question… "Yes"

(I wasn't ready... But I thought, "at least it would be over, right?")

Oh, how much I wanted to take back what I said...

(But, I stood by what I said... Because I knew something you didn't...)

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