WRONG THINKING!

It's been a couple of days since Justin and I had that moment. I can't stop thinking about it. I wish I could but I can't. I keep trying to bring my self back to reality. He hasn't treated me any different. I mean why would he, that was just a step brother, step sister moment... Right? Yeah it was. He cares for me as his step sister & nothing more.

& I care for him as my step brother, nothing more.

"Is my baby girl thinking about a boy?" My mother asked curiously, but softly with a small smile on her face. I didn't even realize my room door is open, let alone that she's been standing there for God knows how long. Damn am I that zoned out into space?! She walked over to the bed & sat next to me.

"I know that look.. & you are thinking about a boy. Is it Sebas-

"Mom , Sebastian and I are done... No is not about him."

"Then who is it that your thinking so deeply about?" She put her hand on mine & held it gently.

I looked up at her. I took a moment to answer.

"A boy from school." I obviously lied.

She smiled. "What about that boy from school? Are you guys dating?"

I immediately responded. "Oh God no mom, he has no idea that I have feelings for him, well I don't have feelings. Ay I don't know, is just a phase I guess. Things are really complicated!"

She laughed a little. "Believe me that I know that feeling & is not a really good one. If you think that the guy feels the same way you do, don't throw your self on to him but let him know how you feel. You'll never know if is a phase or not if you don't give it a shot. But that's only if you feel that in your heart he feels the same way you do."

I sighed as I rolled my eyes. "Yeah I guess." She gave me a kiss on the forehead & left my room.

I sunk my self into my sheets. If my mother only knew what was going through my mind, that last thing she'll be telling me is to give it a shot. I need to do something to get my mind off of this as soon as possible. How about a glass of milk? Ever since I was a little girl a glass of milk always seemed to relax my mind. So a glass of milk it is.

I'm getting close to the kitchen & I pause as I hear voices. Is not moms, is not dads. Is definitely Justin & a female in the kitchen. I take a deep breath before walking in, I go directly to the fridge.

"Rose.. I didn't know you we're up!" Said Justin while spreading butter on a toast. "Yeah, I've been up for a while now." I'm not even making any sort of eye contact with him or the girl. I can see by very small glances that she's skinny, blonde, with pail white skin. I'm pouring my milk into my glass minding my own business.

"Rose this is Jenna, Jenna this is my step sister Rose!" He introduced us with a HUGE smile on his face. I look over at her and give her a small wave. Her on the other hand went the extra mile, stood up from the stool walked over to me, & gave me a quick hug hello. I'm not that rude I hugged and smiled back. But damn, the bìtch is so extra. She smells so good by the way.

I left the kitchen and went straight to my room with my glass of milk. I put the cup on my night stand, and threw my self on the bed. The glass of milk is useless, that's not gonna make me feel any better right about now.

Step sister.

He introduced me as a sibling. I mean I know that's exactly what I am. If I brought a guy over I'll introduce him as the exact same thing.

My step brother.

God what the hell is wrong with me? Why must us girls get our hopes up for the smallest situations? Why can't I stop thinking about Justin in such ways? Way can't I go back to hating him? Life was so much easier then, when we didn't get along.

Okay maybe not easy, but it was definitely less stressful than it is right now at this very moment.

"Knock knock."

"Come in."

It's Justin. He walked in my room & sat at the edge of my bed. I'm just imagining my self kicking his *** off my bed. He layed back & ran his fingers through his hair.

-"I've had such a long morning."

"Yeah I bet!" I said sarcastically. "Where's your little girlfriend?"

-He laughed as if that was the funniest thing he's ever heard.

"Girlfriend? Rose, you should know me better by now. I won't make a bìtch my girlfriend I'll just keep her as my bìtch!"

I looked at him disgusted. "What a fúckiñg a$$hõle." I kicked him, but not hard enough to make him fall off the bed.

-He's smiling at me like a dumba$$, like what he said was cute. "I'm just being honest, Jenna was just a good time... You know something to do when theirs nothing to do!"

I'm not gonna lie, I cracked a smile. "Okay "Drake" get the fúck out of my room!"

He stood up and laughed his whole way out of my room. I can hear him laughing while he's entering his. I can feel my face getting hot and my hands getting sweaty.

"This basterd had séx with her." I said to my self in a low voice. He's such a dog. Such a dirty dog & yet not even that took him out of my mind. I'm now thinking about him even more

A few days later....

Today I'm going out with my girls for the first time in months. After the break up I kind of distanced my self from everyone. But with so much going on I found this to be the perfect time to reconnect with people that once and still mean so much to me. Lilly, Kendall, & Britt. My best friends since middle school!

Tonight we are going to club not to far from the area. Is 21 & over but Britts brother in law is Co-owner, so we'll be in with no problem at all. I walk into my closet searching for what to wear, I don't have much time left because the girls would be here to pick me up in an hour. I'm searching & searching and finally. I pull out a dress I bought not to long ago from Bebe, I've never worn it but it seems perfect for the occasion.

Is super short, tight, black, sequent, with one sleeve. It'll go perfect with my all black heels from Steve Madden. My make up is done, a little bit of a smokey eye, & some eye liner. All that's missing is my fiery red Chanel lips stick, my favorite. I have my hair loose, completely straightened. Something I don't do much often.

Finally an hour passed & the girls are here. I heard them pull up in the drive way, and instead of honking they rang the door bell. Almost done with everything ready, except that i don't have my heels on. I'm rushing out of the room with my heels and my small bag in one hand. As I'm walking towards the stairs I can already see and hear the girls giggling with Justin. I rolled my eyes and threw on my heels real quick.

A gasp came out of the girls mouths. They ran to me as fast as they could. I hugged them tightly. I've missed them so so so so muchhhhh!

"I miss you girls, you guys look sooo beautiful!" I said while looking at them from head to toe, they looked so gorgeous. Lilly gave me a spin, and the whole entire time Justin is looking at me while he's holding the house wide open. Kendall smacked my *** and I pocked it out for her. After about 3 minutes of modeling and playing around with each other we made our way out the door.

"Call me if mom & dad call to ask if I'm home.. Just tell them I'm sleeping or something!" I said to Justin while walking towards Britt's escalade. Mom and dad are on a business trip to Georgia, dad is thinking about opening another restaurant over there. Justin stood shut. He didn't say not one word. What he did do was lìck his líps and look at me up & down. Even if he wanted to play it off that he thinks I look smoking hot today, he can't.

As soon as we walked into the club all eyes we're on us. We we're in VIP and with no hesitation we started to get our drink on. Drink after drink, cup after cup. I can feel my self getting drunk, I haven't drank so much since what happened to me. I've fallen about 3 times already, all I want to do at this point and be in my bed. I can feel tears forming in my eyes. Flash back after flash back kept replaying in my head. I lied to Justin. I didn't stop my old ways because my parents found me having a stupid party at my place. It was much deeper than that.

I just wanted to leave. Britt can't drive because she's to drunk to function. Neither can Kendall and neither can Lilly. I sneaked to the bathroom and called the only person I knew would pick me up.

He barely even let the phone ring, he immediately picked up.

"Hello?"

"Justin!" I whined.

"What's wrong are you okay?" He sounds concerned.

"No, can you come pick me up pleaseeeeeeeee...."

"Yeah yeah of course, give me the address and I'll be there as soon as possible!"

I texted him the address and waited for him outside the club sitting on the floor like a bumb. 15 minutes later he was here to pick me up. Damn, he flew over here. He ran to me as soon as he realized it was me on the floor. "Roseeee!" He said while picking me up from the floor. He carried me into the passenger seat and buckled my seat belt. On our way home we didn't say a word to each other. I sobered up a little. As soon as we got home I ran into the bathroom and threw up my whole life. This feeling is one of the worse I swear. He brought me water. The whole time he had a look of such disappointment. I walked to my room, tripped a few times but still made it & changed into my pajamas. A white wife beater and a pair of love pink shorts. Before I even got to put my tank top on completely Justin stormed into my room with out even knocking.

"How could you be sooooo stupid getting drunk like that at a club with a bunch of fúckiñg minors that don't know any better than you do!

I quickly slipped my tank top right on. Every thing he just said went in one ear and came out of the other. I got up from my closet floor and walked towards him.

"Justin SHUT THE FÚCK UP! GET OUT! I DO WHAT EVER THE FÚCK I WANT!" I puched him and puched him until he was out of my room. I slammed the doot shut & turned off the light. Not even two seconds later Justin comes back in. Perfect timing because as soon as he walked in I tripped and fell over my damn heel. If it weren't for him I probably would of stood sleeping on the floor, I had no intention on getting up. He picked me up as quickly as he could and tucked me into bed, as he was turning to leave I caught a grip of his arm pulling him closer to me.

"What's wrong, He asked. do you need anything?"

I sat up still holding him. "Would you stay here till I fall asleep?"

He looked down at the floor, hesitating to answer. "I can't Rose!"

"Fúck you Justin, leave!" He left my room. I'm so mad right now, super mad. I just want to break something on his face at this point. Why the fúck can't he lay down with me? Because I'm drunk?

For about 10 minutes before falling asleep. I had a million drunk thoughts running through my mind. At one point I imagined my self walking in his room and cursing him out. Then I imagined him coming into mines, me laying in his arms. Then things got deeper and I imagined how it would feel with his lips on mine. I was to drunk to notice, to realize, to pay attention to, to acknowledge, or even care about the fact that I'm just the step sister..

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