I just came out of school and I'm on my way to meet my mom at Applebees. We both decided that we need to spend more one on one quality time together. So I'm a little excited about this after all that's been going on.
I'm at a point with Justin that I don't really care anymore. Which to be honest kind of scares me, how can we go from being so in love with each other to barely speaking anymore?
Maybe Lance is right, maybe this isn't love. Maybe it's a mixture of lúst and the excitement of hiding around.
Ugh Lance.
It's been a few days since he confessed his true feelings for me and in a few days he leaves for good. I can barely smile, I've barely been eating, I don't answer anyone's phone calls. I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel torn, I feel down, I feel broken, lost, confused, I'm just tired. I'm tired of the lies, the secrets, the concussion, I'm tired of the heart break, and all the tears. I'm so ready to give up on everything.
I'm pulling into the Applebees drive way as I see my mother waiting for me outside.
I admire her Spanish beauty as I walk towards her. Her honey brown long hair, beautiful light brown eyes, a gorgeous soft tanned skin completion. No wonder dad is still so in love after all these years.
I manage to put a real smile on my face once I see hers.
"Hey mom!" I wave as I'm approaching her.
"Hi sweetie." She brought me into a nice warm hug then held me by my hand as she took me inside the restaurant.
Yes, sometimes we still hold hands in the streets. I find that cute and comforting.
"Table for two." I tell the waitress that's wearing a dark Christmas green collard shirt that says Applebees on it. The shirt really compliments her light green eyes.
"Sure!" She said with a huge welcoming smile on her face. "Follow me." She lead us to a table for two.
I never knew how comfortable coming to an Applebees could be on a Tuesday. With the lights dimmed, the music on a perfect volume, with not a lot of people here.
As soon as we sat down I can tell my mother wanted to have a conversation about something. She has this look of concern on her face.
I burry my face in the menu trying to completely avoid any conversation that I don't feel like having.
"Soooo Rose..
She started.
"Yes mom?" I slowly put the menu in the table, showing my face little by little, inch by inch.
"You know you can talk to me about anything right?" She asked.
"Yes." I answered, short and simple. I have no idea where she's going with this.
I begin to get nervous wondering if she has a clue about Justin and I. Oh God I'll die, I swear I'll die.
"I'm your mother and a mother always knows when something is wrong with her daughter-
"What did dad tell you?" I quickly cut her off as I rolled my eyes and once again picked up the menu.
"Your dad didn't have to tell me anything baby I can see the sadness in your eyes. Now talk to me." She insisted, raising her left eye brow.
I quickly put the menu down as soon as she said she can see the sadness in my eyes.
I didn't know it was that obvious.
"I don't know where to start mom." I said in a soft tone looking at my surroundings.
"Hi are you guys ready to order?" Respectfully interrupted the waitress with a note pad, and a pen in her hand
"Yes, can I please have a water and a grilled chicken salad with ranch dressing?" Said mom with a smile on her face.
"Sure thing!" Responded the waitress by the name of Sally, while writing the order on her note pad. "& you pretty lady?" She asked me.
I stood quiet for a moment looking at the menu, honestly not wanting anything.
"I'll have fried shrimps and fries with a coke." I replied in a not so happy tone, but not rude either.
My mom waisted no time as soon as the waitress walked away.
"Start off by telling me how you feel about Lance leaving."
I rolled my eyes. Just hearing the words Lance and leaving in the same sentence kills me Like a gun shot.
"I mean I'm obviously not happy about it."
"Why is that? You guys are 18 years old, I understand he's your best friend and he just came back but if he's choosing to leave it has to be for a good cause. You guys can text all day, call each other, face time, visit each other. You don't have to be so depressed about it."
She advised me with a sympathetic voice.
She stared at me with a glow in her eyes as I tried to ignore.
"Mom." I said in a soft and shaky tone.
"Yes dear." She gently placed her hand on mine.
"I just really don't want him to leave... I really really don't want him to leave again." I crossed my arms as a tear fell from my eyes.
"I know." She said softly.
2 Hours Later...
I'm finally home after a long day I'm feeling a little better now after spending some time with my mom. But I'm still very confused about what's gonna happen with everything and everyone around me. I take a deep breath of relief walking into an empty house. Mom went straight to dad's restaurant, I had to pass on that one. & Justin isn't home, his car isn't parked outside.
I'm walking up the stairs and quickly stop as I hear the house door open. I turn around to see who it is, as I realize is Justin I continue to go up stairs. If I can avoid an argument, disagreement, any tension or awkwardness at this point I will.
Just as I hit that last step, "Rose." Justin called my name from downstairs.
Loud enough for me to hear him, low enough for me to ignore.
But I roll my eyes, turn around and walk back down stairs.
"What?" I asked while looking at my nails. Not giving much importance to this conversation already.
"We need to talk." He said to me with a nervous look in his eyes.
He quickly took off his jacket and threw it on the floor.
I'm suddenly a little scared But overall confused. I take a step back.
"Okay about wha-
"I met someone." He confessed as he took a deep breath and ran his finger through his black hair.
Suddenly my knees begin to weaken. My vision begins to blur for a quick second, I take a deep breath and roll my eyes.
"We got to know each other and-
"& You cheated on me Justin!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. I can feel my nostrils expanding and my face getting red. I'm looking at him in his eyes and all I see Is fear.
"I didn't want to Rose, but-" He insisted while reaching for my hand.
I quickly moved away from him looking at him with disgust.
"But you did Justin, you Favking did!" I argued while making my way up the stairs. I'm stomping so hard I swear I think the wood is gonna break.
I run as I feel him walking behind me. Tears are streaming down my face as I'm opening my room door. I slam the door as fast as I could, locking it to make sure he doesn't come in.
"OPEN THE DOOR!" He bangs on the door really hard.
"Nooooooooooo leave me the fúck alone!" I yell through the door.
"We need to have this conversation." "Please!" He begged.
I lean on the door drowning in my own tears, I drag my self down to the floor. Take my hair out of my face by putting it in a high pony tale.
I can feel his body dragging down the door too.
"I don't blame you for hating me but you deserve to hear the truth from me... This hasn't been easy for me Rose and I know is not fair to you. But how much more of an ãsshõle would I have been if you heard this from someone else?" He said in a soft tone. His voice is shaky I can tell he's crying. I've never heard him cry before.
With every word he says I cry even more. I hurry my face in my knees.
"I didn't plan this it just kind of happened I never once had any intentions of hurting you. I caught feelings for that girl, feelings I thought had been taken by you. I'm sorry...
I can hear him getting up now.
"I love you."
Those were his last words before walking into his room and slamming his door behind him.
Yes I want to scream at the top of my lungs some more, I want to hit him, I want to know who that girl is, I want to ask him why, I want him to take back his "I love you." I want to take back all those moments we shared. I want to take back the day we made love.
A million questions are running through my mind, a million questions are at the tip of my tongue.
But at this point nothing surprises me anymore.
He wants he can go ahead and have her.
I force my self up from the ground, wiping my face with the sleeve of my sweater.
"WHO EVER SHE IS I HOPE SHE LOVES YOU LIKE I HAVE JUSTIN, I HOPE SHE TREATS YOU LIKE I DO. I HOPE SHE MAKES LOVE TO YOU THE WAY I DID!" I just had to let that out, a loud as I could.
I quickly un locked my room door as I heard him opening his.
My room door flew open I quickly jumped back.
"I'm sorry Rose!" He apologized with tears falling from his eyes.
"No I'm sorry, I'm sorry for ever catching feelings for you." I grabbed my bag from the floor and stormed out of my room. He watched my every move with sadness in his eyes, not saying one word. I stormed out of the house and walked towards my car.
I lock my self in and start the engine. I don't even know where I'm going but I need to get away, away from everything and everyone. My world is literally crashing down right in front of me and I don't even have the strength to do anything about it.
I start to drive with no destination, with no where to go.
Driving has always relieved some kind of stress. As torn as I am right now, a part of me feels some kind of relief, some kind of peace.
But overall I am hurt because I love him. How is it possible to loose the guys that mean most to you in one week?
"No I'm sorry, I'm sorry for ever catching feelings for you." I grabbed my bag from the floor and stormed out of my room. He watched my every move with sadness in his eyes, not saying one word. I stormed out of the house and walked towards my car.
I lock my self in and start the engine. I don't even know where I'm going but I need to get away, away from everything and everyone. My world is literally crashing down right in front of me and I don't even have the strength to do anything about it.
I start to drive with no destination, with no where to go.
Driving has always relieved some kind of stress. As torn as I am right now, a part of me feels some kind of relief, some kind of peace.
But overall I am hurt because I love him. How is it possible to loose the guys that mean most to you in one week?
Only in my life you see some shit like this.
As I slowly stop at a yellow light I check my phone. I get a text from Kendall saying "we need to talk can you come over?" I replied "I'll be there in 10." I'm not to far from her house, I wonder what she wants to talk about.
Being the concerned friend that I am I go straight to her house, not like I had anywhere else to go.
I get to her drive way, before leaving my car I try to look as normal as possible. I let my hair loose, place some mascara on my lashes, and put a little bit of foundation on to cover all my red spots from crying so much. I don't want her to see me Like this, besides is not about me and my misery right now. Is about her.
I un buckle my seat belt. I pause as I see her already in front of her house. She's sitting on the steps with her head down.
"Heyyyy boo wassup." I say with a huge smile on my face as I approach her with a kiss on the cheek. I stare at her with concussion as I notice a tear falling from her eye. I sit down next to her.
"Kendall what's wrong?" I asked as concerned as I've ever been. Kendall is always so happy so jolly, energetic, full of life. I've never seen her like this before.
"I have to tell you something..." She looked away before actually looking at me in my eyes.
"Talk to me." I took a deep breath before having to digest another news. I placed my hand on her back, making her feel more comfortable.
"I lost my virginity...
She blurted out.
"Whattttttt? Whennnn-
"That's not all." She added.
My eyes widened as my heart stopped.
"I'm late." She whispered while running her fingers through her hair.
My jaw dropped, my eyes closed shut and then opened wide. "Whattttttt?" "Kendall, who did this to you?"
"No, no one did this to me. I had a
"Kendall what's wrong?" I asked as concerned as I've ever been. Kendall is always so happy so jolly, energetic, full of life. I've never seen her like this before.
"I have to tell you something..." She looked away before actually looking at me in my eyes.
"Talk to me." I took a deep breath before having to digest another news. I placed my hand on her back, making her feel more comfortable.
"I lost my vìrgiñity...
She blurted out.
"Whattttttt? Whennnn-
"That's not all." She added.
My eyes widened as my heart stopped.
"I'm late." She whispered while running her fingers through her hair.
My jaw dropped, my eyes closed shut and then opened wide. "Whattttttt?" "Kendall, who did this to you?"
"No, no one did this to me. I had a part in this too!" She automatically defended. "We actually have a really good connection but I'm scared that he'll leave me once I tell him that I'm pregnant." She said in a desperate tone. 1
"You have to tell him Kendall this is his responsibly too." I demanded while brining her into my chest, holding her as she cried softly. "Whose the father?" I asked softly.
"That's the thing I don't know if I want this kind of responsibly." She completely ignored my question.
I moved back being taken by surprise. An abortion is so not Kendall.
"Kendall you're talking crazy right now, whose the father?"
"Justin!" She sobbed into my arms. My arm weakened as she slipped out.
As quickly as I could I got up from her steps and ran to my car.
"I wanted to tell you I really did!"
Just when I thought things couldn't get worse turns out that my best friend is having the guy that I loves baby. She doesn't even know it either.
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