Everything I Wish You Never Know
Yesterday
Summer, the scorching hot weather, and Ilya who sat still with his head down. Every time.
And every time, just like any other days, someone had his eyes all focused on the complexion of Ilya's pale white skin.
Younger Liam
'Is he tired? Why is he tired most of the time?'
Younger Liam
... What is it, Natya?
Younger Natya
Want to go to the canteen? Yuka can't come with me, so you have to.
Younger Liam
...No. I'll pass
Natya turns back, she shook the seemingly frail hands covered in a white long hoodie sleeves.
Younger Natya
Ilya, are you tired?
Younger Natya
Want me to grab something from the canteen?
Younger Natya
What do you want?
Younger Ilya
Just vanilla milk.
Younger Liam
Natya, you're not asking me?
Natya opened the door to the hallway, and left the both of them alone.
The class were quiet. The fan isn't helping with the weather by one bit.
'It's beautiful how the sunlit cast a shadow on his long lashes.' Liam thought. But he closed the curtain.
'I like the way he unconsciously slept facing towards my desk.' He thought. Leaning forward, hands folded on the desk, eyes locked at Ilya's.
And as for Liam, the room is warm.
Because no sorrow came to mind when he sat next to Ilya by an arm's length. Because he finds his comfort whenever that Blue-eyed boy smiled, hands playing with his long hair and cheeks red.
And maybe because of that, every sentence he had fallen pale when asked.
Natya came to the class. Both hands busy holding a phone and a plastic bag on the other.
Younger Natya
Ilya? You up?
Ilya raised his head, and tilted it a little. Still dizzy from the sudden light that strikes his vision.
Younger Natya
I got you the milk, and a bread.
Younger Ilya
Why the bread, Natya?
Younger Natya
Because i know you didn't even have breakfast.
Younger Natya
It's my treat.
Younger Ilya
Thank you, but you don't have to.
Younger Natya
I think it's either i did it and you'll live or i didn't and you'll pass out on the hallway like yesterday
Younger Liam
Ilya, you didn't have breakfast regularly?
Younger Ilya
It upsets my stomach.
Younger Natya
Still. No excuses.
Younger Ilya
Thank you, Natya.
Younger Natya
Don't mention it.
Younger Liam
What about me?
Younger Natya
How is it, Ilya? You like it?
Younger Liam
'This girl...'
And just like that, everything feels like a fever dream.
The time Liam spent to search for Ilya in everything, was immaculate.
And he thought, that waiting is also a love language.
So no matter how long, He'll wait for Ilya. As long as he knew who he was coming back to, as long as they were in touch.
He wouldn't consider it as a crush. He loves Ilya, from the start and until everything is lost in the dust.
But those are also the things that he couldn't have said.
Younger Liam
You're not going home?
Younger Ilya
I don't want to.
Younger Liam
Don't be ridiculous.
Then, he averted his gaze.
Younger Ilya
Sleep in your house instead?
Younger Liam
I could never say no to that.
Younger Liam
I'm riding a bicycle today, Ilya. You're really lucky.
Younger Ilya
Then let's take a little detour to the east!
Younger Ilya
The park by the lake. It's almost sunset, isn't it? Can we see it together?
It's nothing new, but it has always felt so new to him. Ilya is beautiful, But for Liam, there's more to what it seems.
Younger Liam
I'll take my bicycle to wherever you want to go Ilya. Whenever, and every time.
Dumb, honest, and faithful.
It's the kind of summer that they won't get back, the kind that could never ever be replaced with anything else.
Younger Ilya
Then, take me somewhere far. Really far from here.
Younger Liam
What would you want to do then?
Just for this once, could the time stop itself?
Younger Ilya
... Nothing much.
Younger Ilya
I want to live the rest of my life knowing I had you.
Ilya didn't stutter.
'Even if the weather is raging, cold, damp, or dry. It doesn't really matter, as long as i get to spend it with you.' He tought.
Younger Liam
I'll take the honor to ride.
But reality, hits back hard and cruel.
'Ah, silly me.' He realized. Love can be so terrifying. And most of the time, it does.
Younger Ilya
The sunset's about to fall.
Younger Liam
Then, can i take your hand?
Without thinking for a second time, he reached Liam's hand and hold it tightly.
It might've been the last. So in any chance that he got,
Ilya would hold Liam's hand again, and again every time.
And then they ran, with the cold of the upcoming dawn that reaches their skin, they kept on going.
Hoping that one day, he could hold Liam's hand without a single worry, Without a single fear of breaking of losing him. He loved those scenarios on his head.
It might've been a selfish request, but..
'So just for this once, please let the sky stays as a sunset forever.'
Ilya found his comfort, laying in Liam's broad shoulders.
Watching the sunset over, and over, and over again.
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