Episode 19

Nicole: I... I... was just helping you, Mr. Brayan.

Brayan asks me what I'm doing in his bed, my heart stops for a moment. He didn't remember?! My God!!! Deep down, I knew, but I'm angry at myself for letting myself get carried away.

Brayan: What happened to me, Nicole, tell me! Why are you so nervous?

Nicole stammers to answer me and gets nervous, I look around and see that I'm wearing different clothes.

Nicole: Conceiçao called me, Mr. Brayan, you weren't waking up. I saw that you were burning with fever, with the help of the security guards I gave you a bath to lower your fever and changed your clothes. A doctor came and examined you, he gave you this medicine and the IV and asked that I keep an eye on you... then... you...

Brayan: I what, Nicole?

Nicole: Nothing else, Mr. Brayan, then you woke up!

Brayan: As you can see, I'm fine, you can go.

Nicole: I'm leaving the room when Brayan talks to me...

Brayan: Thank you, Nicole.

Nicole: Don't thank me, you did the same for me!

I leave, and I feel my eyes welling up. I practically swallow my cry, I won't let myself get carried away like that ever again! Zeus comes to meet me, I pet him and head to the pool house. It's still dawn, I take a shower and lie down to sleep thinking about what happened with Brayan, the kiss was so intense, the desire I felt gives me anguish when I remember him asking me what I was doing in his bed.

Brayan: I don't understand Nicole's reaction, she acted like she was disappointed in me. My body is aching. I go down to the kitchen and see Nicole petting Zeus, I shake my head as if that would get her out of my mind. I drink water and go back to bed, I lie there thinking about Nicole's disappointed expression until some confusing memories come to mind. No!!!! I must have dreamed it, I can't have grabbed Nicole. I get up immediately and go to the pool house and knock on the door, Zeus comes out, followed by Nicole with a confused expression.

Nicole is upset with me, is that it?

Nicole: Me? Upset? Of course not!

Brayan: I'm confused but I briefly remember grabbing you! Is that what disappointed you?

Nicole: Brayan... Mr. Brayan, I'm sorry. That's not it, it's just... It's better to let it go!

Brayan: Nicole, just tell me, did I force you into anything?

Nicole: No!!! It was just kisses, but... I wanted it too!

I blush, Brayan looks at me as if trying to remember.

You asked me to stay, said you wanted to be with me and I... Well, I acted wrong, you weren't well and I couldn't resist and I kissed you back. I'm sorry.

Brayan: Kisses?

I run my hand through my hair, I see Nicole take a step back in confusion, I keep looking at her, and some more memories come back to me.

Nicole, I don't regret it, although I don't remember everything, I know it's been a while since I've been able to get you out of my mind. I know it's complicated, that I've said some things to you that I regret, but the truth is, I don't care about anything now!

Nicole: No! I got carried away and well, it wasn't a few hours and I was already here trying to pull myself together. You yourself said it was a mistake you wouldn't make again. Please, listen to me and understand, I have everything to lose! I can't! Just leave me alone.

Brayan: Nicole, I'm going out, I don't know if I can be who deserves to have you by their side. But I can tell you why I referred to it as a mistake, I immediately regretted telling you that I don't even remotely remember the person I made a mistake with, however, I'll tell you another time. Rest and we'll talk later!

I leave and Nicole enters the pool house, I keep thinking about what happened, about what she told me. I don't know what love is, I won't be able to make her happy, so it's better to forget all about it! I lie down and have trouble falling asleep.

Nicole: Brayan leaves, I keep thinking about everything that happened here, about the desire I had to take a chance and also about the consequences it would have, especially for me. He's a cold and even arrogant man, he doesn't care about anything but work, I believe it's for the best for me. But if it's for the best, why does it leave me with such a bad feeling?! I lie down and inevitably remember our kiss, I touch my lips and it's like I'm back in that room!