Episode 18: Please tell me now

We both fell to the floor. I have no idea when I stopped crying, it felt like hours. I could feel John‟s shirt was drenched. I looked up at him and blushed. His shirt was completely soaked on one should and about half of his shirt. "Sorry" I mumbled.

"Nah" he smirked, "it‟s OK". I felt him kiss my temple and I realized how much I had missed him. I snuggled into his chest and we sat there until we heard a squeak. I lifted my head out of John‟s chest and saw Olivia glaring daggers at us both; what was her problem?

"What the hell are you two doing?" She shrieked, yes that‟s right, shrieked. John and I untangled ourselves and I then realized that it must‟t have looked good, but why the hell would Olivia care. She used to dream about us marrying so that we could be sisters.

"What‟s with you Olive?" asked John "What‟s wrong? I come over here because there is something wrong with my nep- I mean my Lordchildren and I find you two on the freaking floor! That‟s what‟s wrong." She yelled. I instantly picked up on her mistake. "What were you going to say?" I asked carefully, hoping to Lord that it wasn't what I thought it was.

"Olivia, what the hell did you say?" John said in the same tone as me. He heard the slip as well. "No-nothing" she stuttered. "Oh my Lord," I said tonelessly.

I knew what she was going to say. I stared at John. No! My mind screamed. Yes, my heart said. Me? It made sense. "Olivia, please tell me now," I said in the same tone, not quite believing it.

I noticed that John had gone still, frozen. "I am so, so sorry" wept Olivia, tears falling from her face. John snapped out of it first. He looked at me, then at Olivia. Pure rage was on his face. He walked out slamming the front door as he left.

I stood there looking at the place he had stood seconds before. "Amelia, I am so sorry! Please say something" Olivia wept. I looked at her in disgust and stormed out of the room towards the nursery.

*** ***

John‟s Point a view

I stormed out of Amelia‟s house, slamming the door behind me walking in a random direction. I cannot believe what I had just found out.

I had been in love with Amelia since we were little before I went away the first time. I had fallen even more in love with her over the year. I had been furious that somebody had gotten her pregnant. She deserved more out of life.

She was smart and beautiful and should have been able to go to college, find a great husband, get a job, have a few kids when the time came and lived a full life, and somebody destroyed those plans. Now I knew that that person was me…

I was the reason that Amelia had to drop out of school, the reason that she looked like she had not slept in years,

she probably didn't get much sleep with three babies. Holy Cow, three babies… I wasn't the father of one baby. I was the father of three kids and I had not helped at all in over a year. I had always felt disgusted at men who didn't help out with their kids, now I was one of them.

I stopped walking and realized that I didn't know where I was; great. I walked into a bar I spotted a few blocks away. It smelt like old cigar smoke, cheap sex, and stale alcohol. I spotted a free barstool and made my way over to order something strong… and lots of it…