MYSTERY PLAYS

Wiping her teared-brown eyes, she wrap her arms tightly around her pillow while she squeezed herself into the corner of her bed. Grasping her breath as she deeply sobbed.

Loneliness, emptiness and sadness. All these caught her up right at that moment.

Image of him and memories. The hitch of course is that his everywhere.

When she look at the mirror, she see his pretty face and twinkling eyes looking at her passionately.

When she look at the close door thinking he might be there waiting when she opens it.

When she lay down her bed and look at the other side of it, she saw him smiling and remembering how he tickles and cuddles her.

That feeling of being physically alive but emotionally dead.

Her tears keeps on shedding as the raindrops heavily poured the roof. It seems though the weather is colliding with the emotions she felt inside. It's unending.

---

It was a lonely night. A cold lonely night. She's all aware that she doesn't have to act like this. For the fact that he left long time ago. And he might have forgotten she did exist.

She knew she needed to wake up from this daydream and accept the reality that he will never come back.

She needs to move on and somehow live her life. This time alone. Alone without him.

---

"Why, is it so hard to move on? How I wish doing it would be as simple as those words they say. What spell was cast to me that I have to suffer from the pain that happened long time ago? I am going crazy! I just wanted to get out of this sad bubble and continue my life. But whenever I try, whenever I tried to, even how I try harder, his memories hunting me! What unbearable sin did I do in my past life to suffer like this? Please tell me. Please make me understand." Trix bursted as she angrily teared his picture.

"God, please help me! I no longer want to live in this trap. In this dark place. I want to see the beauty of life again. Please!"

Though trembling, she slowly stand up from her bed and went straight to the closet. She then open her drawer and from there she took out the diary she kept.

Written there was the happy times they shared together. The times they are still much in love with each other. The times where no one can ever separate them. The times where love and happiness exist.

As she turn the pages, she saw the short poem she wrote out of anger to Vincent. This was written a week after they broke up.

---

1st of July

Why do you have to leave

Without even saying goodbye?

My hearts gonna explode

As I don't understand why

I've tried my best

Yet you turn your back

If love really fade away,

Could you have atleast tried to stay?

Could you have atleast told me?

Even how much it hurts,

I would willingly accept.

When you hold my hand

I did the same

With hope, you and me will work out

But why'd u suddenly let go?

Why'd it has to end up so sudden?

Like stardust, you've gone forever.

Now I'm curl up in a ball sobbing.

Maybe everything happened for a reason,

I might not know it now,

But I hope one day I will.

- Trixie Lee Beanne Lopez

---

Riping out that page as she angrily murmured...

"I should hate you right, Vincent?! But damn this stupid heart that still hoping!"

Tears began to fall again.

"I hope this will be the last! Please Trix, pull yourself together!"

Though struggling and doesn't have enough strength that moment, she throw herself to bed.

With all the ranting, Trix fall asleep still with tears freely falling.

---

It's been 5 years when Vincent broke up with Trix. But why is it so hard for her to just move on from this tragic past? It feels like it happened yesterday. The scars and the pain seem not to heal. No matter what she do, it seems the pain is unending. It's like it's being pinched by a needle. It's unbearable that she just wanted to die. She doesn't get why he has to leave her. She might just need and wanted an explanation. She deserves an explanation for her to understand his reasons to leave like that. She wanted to know what she needs to do to make things work. But was it too late? Did she really have done wrong? Did she have said anything wrong? She just doesn't get it.

---

"I'm sorry Trix, but I can no longer continue this relationship. Let's end it up here!"

This words that came out of his lips, are the most painful words she ever heard at her entire life. This words tored her world apart.

"But why Babe? Where did I go wrong? Please give me a chance to correct whatever I've done wrong. I need you. Please don't do this to me. You can't to this to me." though shuttering she loudly speak these words.

Vincent turned his broad back at her, leaving no answer. She wanted to run after him, hug him tight, and beg him to stay. But her legs trembled and weakened, that she doesn't have any strength to take even a single step.

Her sight begun to get blury and the last thing she remembered, his image that's like of a smoke slowly fading away.

---

Being heart broken is one of the saddest thing that human can ever experience in this earthly life. It's like living half dead. Shedding unstoppable tears that's freely flowing from your eyes. Memories of that person that keeps flashing back. Faces you are seeing everywhere as if though he is still there. His presence haunting you even in dreams. It can make you go crazy. Losing appetite to eat even your favorite food. Losing focus on things that you love to do. Not wanting to live because you thought living is no advantage to you and being dead will all end the pain. Yes, it's never easy especially if you dearly love that person.

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[]Baby, why are you crying again? Want me to give your favorite? Your favorite warmest and tight momma hug? Stop crying honey. This will be the last time I'm going to wipe these tears. And I need you to keep your promise to me. That you will stay firm and strong becuase this world isn't that kind all the time. It can be so cruel and a betrayer. You know that I am always here for you, sweetie. No matter what, I'll be here to watch and guide you all throughout. I may not be with you today but we will meet again someday. I love you.[]

[]I love you more Mom. I missed you each passing day. You will always be in my heart. Thank you for everything. Until we meet again.[]

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