Wiping her teared-brown eyes, she wrap her arms tightly around her pillow while she squeezed herself into the corner of her bed. Grasping her breath as she deeply sobbed.

Loneliness, emptiness and sadness. All these caught her up right at that moment.

Image of him and memories. The hitch of course is that his everywhere.

When she look at the mirror, she see his pretty face and twinkling eyes looking at her passionately.

When she look at the close door thinking he might be there waiting when she opens it.

When she lay down her bed and look at the other side of it, she saw him smiling and remembering how he tickles and cuddles her.

That feeling of being physically alive but emotionally dead.

Her tears keeps on shedding as the raindrops heavily poured the roof. It seems though the weather is colliding with the emotions she felt inside. It's unending.

---

It was a lonely night. A cold lonely night. She's all aware that she doesn't have to act like this. For the fact that he left long time ago. And he might have forgotten she did exist.

She knew she needed to wake up from this daydream and accept the reality that he will never come back.

She needs to move on and somehow live her life. This time alone. Alone without him.

---

"Why, is it so hard to move on? How I wish doing it would be as simple as those words they say. What spell was cast to me that I have to suffer from the pain that happened long time ago? I am going crazy! I just wanted to get out of this sad bubble and continue my life. But whenever I try, whenever I tried to, even how I try harder, his memories hunting me! What unbearable sin did I do in my past life to suffer like this? Please tell me. Please make me understand." Trix bursted as she angrily teared his picture.

"God, please help me! I no longer want to live in this trap. In this dark place. I want to see the beauty of life again. Please!"

Though trembling, she slowly stand up from her bed and went straight to the closet. She then open her drawer and from there she took out the diary she kept.

Written there was the happy times they shared together. The times they are still much in love with each other. The times where no one can ever separate them. The times where love and happiness exist.

As she turn the pages, she saw the short poem she wrote out of anger to Vincent. This was written a week after they broke up.

---

1st of July

Why do you have to leave

Without even saying goodbye?

My hearts gonna explode

As I don't understand why

I've tried my best

Yet you turn your back

If love really fade away,

Could you have atleast tried to stay?

Could you have atleast told me?

Even how much it hurts,

I would willingly accept.

When you hold my hand

I did the same

With hope, you and me will work out

But why'd u suddenly let go?

Why'd it has to end up so sudden?

Like stardust, you've gone forever.

Now I'm curl up in a ball sobbing.

Maybe everything happened for a reason,

I might not know it now,

But I hope one day I will.

- Trixie Lee Beanne Lopez

---

Riping out that page as she angrily murmured...

"I should hate you right, Vincent?! But damn this stupid heart that still hoping!"

Tears began to fall again.

"I hope this will be the last! Please Trix, pull yourself together!"

Though struggling and doesn't have enough strength that moment, she throw herself to bed.

With all the ranting, Trix fall asleep still with tears freely falling.

---

It's been 5 years when Vincent broke up with Trix. But why is it so hard for her to just move on from this tragic past? It feels like it happened yesterday. The scars and the pain seem not to heal. No matter what she do, it seems the pain is unending. It's like it's being pinched by a needle. It's unbearable that she just wanted to die. She doesn't get why he has to leave her. She might just need and wanted an explanation. She deserves an explanation for her to understand his reasons to leave like that. She wanted to know what she needs to do to make things work. But was it too late? Did she really have done wrong? Did she have said anything wrong? She just doesn't get it.

---

"I'm sorry Trix, but I can no longer continue this relationship. Let's end it up here!"

This words that came out of his lips, are the most painful words she ever heard at her entire life. This words tored her world apart.

"But why Babe? Where did I go wrong? Please give me a chance to correct whatever I've done wrong. I need you. Please don't do this to me. You can't to this to me." though shuttering she loudly speak these words.

Vincent turned his broad back at her, leaving no answer. She wanted to run after him, hug him tight, and beg him to stay. But her legs trembled and weakened, that she doesn't have any strength to take even a single step.

Her sight begun to get blury and the last thing she remembered, his image that's like of a smoke slowly fading away.

---

Being heart broken is one of the saddest thing that human can ever experience in this earthly life. It's like living half dead. Shedding unstoppable tears that's freely flowing from your eyes. Memories of that person that keeps flashing back. Faces you are seeing everywhere as if though he is still there. His presence haunting you even in dreams. It can make you go crazy. Losing appetite to eat even your favorite food. Losing focus on things that you love to do. Not wanting to live because you thought living is no advantage to you and being dead will all end the pain. Yes, it's never easy especially if you dearly love that person.

×*×*×*×*×*×*×

[]Baby, why are you crying again? Want me to give your favorite? Your favorite warmest and tight momma hug? Stop crying honey. This will be the last time I'm going to wipe these tears. And I need you to keep your promise to me. That you will stay firm and strong becuase this world isn't that kind all the time. It can be so cruel and a betrayer. You know that I am always here for you, sweetie. No matter what, I'll be here to watch and guide you all throughout. I may not be with you today but we will meet again someday. I love you.[]

[]I love you more Mom. I missed you each passing day. You will always be in my heart. Thank you for everything. Until we meet again.[]

×*×*×*×*×*×*×

--end--

VICTORY BUT STILL DID LOSE A STAR

---

"Mom, mom..........."

---

The sun is up shining brightly in the vivid sky. She open her eyes snail-paced as she check the time.

It's 6am of August 22nd.

It's been a decade that she lost her mom. She missed her so much like every second, every minute, every hour of everyday. She knows her mom is safe and happy now with her little sister and loving father.

10 years ago, Mrs. Lopez died in a car accident a month after Trix father's burial. It's a double pain for her losing both her parents.

She had a hard time moving on from the tragic past but her brothers and sisters in the orphan fill that missing part. She was loved dearly and unconditionally that there's isn't any room for sadness and tears. And with acceptance and hope, Trix was healed in time.

---

"Good morning Chief Fernandez!" Trix greeted him with a smile.

"Good morning Manager Lopez. Good luck for today!" he said positively.

Trix works as Graphic Art Manager at Elliom.org for almost 6 years.

Elliom.org is one of the most leading graphic design company not just in the city but around the globe. Known for their simple yet captivating illustrations and images that most clients are dazed in love to it. Their works is beyond awesome that people keep coming back.

Their secret?

They put their heart in everything they do. And with amazing and determined employees, they have as well won several prestigious awards in bringing new business in the organization. Also, they have supported branded companies such as TVM, KBC and a lot more.

---

"Turning your imagination into reality" this is what they do.

---

As a Graphic Design Manager, Trix's main role is to supervise and lead graphic designing team ensuring quality work is being completed within the timeline and estimated budget and with accordance to tha laid out concept and specification of the project work. Trix also work in collaboration with other different departments in strategizing new ways on how to further improve the quality of designs and resolving other project issues.

With her leverage creativity and marketing knowledge, Trix became one of the top designer in town creating hundreds and thousands of design for small and big companies around the globe. She also became one of the assets of Elliom.org, of course comes with the empowering supervision of Mr. Zander Fernandez, acts as the Chief Graphic Technology Officer. Working under pressure of this 40 year old man is beyond compare yet she managed to.

Trix is being looked up and respected by her colleagues too. They would always call her Miss Perfect. She has the face and the beauty that everyone adores. Only one is lucking though.

---

Yes you might think she must be a goddess or a princess with great and perfect life, amazing career and all those stuff but hey she isn't happy at all. The last piece of the puzzle is still missing.

---

Though Trix broke up 5 years ago, she never had an eye on guys who lure her. Many guys have attempted to win her heart but no one ever did. Not even close.

Reason?

She knows that her heart still belongs to someone. Yes, she haven't moved on yet and still hoping that Vincent will come back. She still hope that Vincent will appear from nowhere and will tell her that she still love her.

(High hopes)

It may seem a fantasy, as she is still daydreaming of him but she has a feeling that Vincent still love her. That she is still the girl he wants to be with and share his whole life.

(Damn this feeling!)

Trix doesn't want to use a guy's feeling just to forgot the past. She told herself that in case she will fall inlove again, she will make sure that her heart is fully healed and is open to love again.

For now, the door to her heart remains locked.

---

"Hey, Trix! You know it's lonely eating alone. Want to have a dinner with me?", Matt invited.

"Here we go again. It may be lonely but I am used to it. Maybe next time sweetie." answered Trix.

"Oh c'mon! When will be that next time Trix? How long will I wait? You know how I feel for you. Would you even give me a chance to prove it?"

"Let's just go home Matt since it's getting late. Besides, I need to prepare for the presentation next week."

"Yeah work again! My greatest rival. Seems you have fall in love with work! Can't argue no more", he sadly said.

"I promise I will be the one to invite you when that right time comes", said Trix while tapping Matt's shoulder.

"Alright! I'll keep your word then! See you tomorrow and Take care!"

"You too!"

After bading goodbyes the two went on their separate ways.

---

Another day has passed. She know that when she gets home, another gloomy weather is waiting for her.

Well she is trying her best everyday to live and look at the bright side of the world. But everytime she does, the little chance she gets to succeed.

Trix considered Vincent as his sunlight after the storm, the rainbow after the little rain. She doesn't want to forget and throw those happy moments with him yet. Yes it still hurts but she just wanted to remember the good ones that happened. The happy memories. The times they're both laughing. The times they're both the reason of each other's smile. The time they are still in love with each other.

---

"Let's call it a day, lady. It's time to rest your heart and mind now", Trix words at the back of her head while looking her reflection in the mirror.

---

[]Undressed, she directed herself to the shower.[]

---end---