..**Chapter 4...
...~ I hate you ** ~...
The streets of New York, as always, bustling. People came and went, rushing home or to work. It was cold, autumn had arrived in full force.
"And how is Tyler? Was it very deep?"
"Not so much. A man helped to stop the bleeding. If it weren't for him, Tyler would be much worse..." Kalel looked at the sky. What was he looking for in that lost cloudy sky?
The voice called him on the other side of the line. Over and over again. He slowly lowered the hand that held the phone...
This tightness in his chest. He was feeling it again. Everything was coming back. The warmth in his stomach, the desire to see him…
...Flashback...
Tyler was in the operating room and Kalel waited anxiously outside. It had been a while since he had felt this.
The feeling of needing Isaac, of depending on him. To love him above all else. He hadn't stopped loving Isaac in those fifteen years, no. But not with all this intensity.
...And maybe… this isn't even love. It's a disease. A horrible disease....
He was still in shock with it all. Maybe he didn't even know he was sitting on a chair in a waiting room right now. A clearly disturbed man, the people there looked at him uncomfortably from time to time.
With his hands on his head, he pulled strands and strands of hair, always keeping his head down. People stared at the golden strands on the floor and the man's state of dementia.
"{ Merdä...}" The blood was felt inside his mouth. He was trying to stay grounded and not run into the arms of that man. Eyes wide open and fixed on a single point. The floor...
"Kalel!" He held the blond's hands, they were shaking, shaking so much. It stopped him from continuing to pull out his own hair.
It only made Carter's catatonic state worse. Hearing that voice, that smell so close, he pushed him away. Isaac was as shocked as the people there.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" He moved away a few more steps when the other man started walking towards him.
"Kalel let's talk, okay? We're in a hospital, stop yelling!" He held the arms that were pushing him and aggressively made the blond's back hit the wall. People looked at them in fear. Should they call security?
"BE QUIET!" Isaac was frightening. As if he were a different person than the one from minutes ago.
"Look, I just want to talk to you!" He purposely tightened the arms he was holding and Kalel winced in pain.
"NO!" He closed his eyes. Refusing to surrender himself to that man again. But his heart betrayed him, no matter how that man treated him, he always forgave him. "Stop… enough…"
He contracted his face feeling tears streaming down, he squeezed his eyes wishing it was all a nightmare.
"Look at me, Kalel!" He was authoritarian and cold. He knew the psychological power he had over that body. And obeying the orders, Kalel opened, eyes filled with tears, and feeling very afraid.
As much as that Isaac did this, a part of that man screamed. Trying to break free and make his hands stop. They were hurting him, they were making him cry, they were making him afraid.
That was the person Isaac feared the most. Himself. His other self, psychopathic, manipulative, cold, calculating, and insensitive.
Dark Isaac hated Kalel. He blamed Kalel for everything. It was all his fault, his alone. If that man had never appeared in his life everything would be going according to plan.
Because Mom said it's true. Mom is always right! He is to blame for everything.
"Stop hurting him! Let me come back Isaac!"
"NO! It's all his fault! His alone!" He answered the voice in his head, out of control. He didn't know what he was talking about.
People started to walk away. That didn't look like it was going to end well. Letting go of Kalel's arms, he held him by the neck, lifting him a few inches off the ground.
The blond swung his legs desperately searching for the floor. He held that hand that wanted to take his life at all costs.
Calhoun squeezed tighter with each passing second. His eyebrows furrowed and a gaze that was intense and steeped in hatred.
"{Go… away… please…}" Losing his strength, he ended up letting go of the man who insisted on taking his life. "{Did… sometime… you ever… love me?}" He had already given up trying to survive, so what was the harm in asking something that wouldn't stop hammering in his mind?
The man smiled. He smiled diabolically, a sick, psychopathic smile.
"No. Never. I only feel hate for you." He spoke as if it were the most unimportant subject in the world. Without any sensitivity for that weak body that was already losing consciousness.
"Yes. You were the only person I ever loved…"
Even with that sick smile on his face, his eyes were curved downward. Such a sad look. Before losing consciousness, Kalel looked deep into those blue orbs. They were crying and seemed to be suffering…
"Just like me" - He thought, feeling all the air leave his lungs and losing consciousness.
Since that day, a week ago, he had never seen Isaac Calhoun again.
And he didn't want to see him. If he saw him, he would surely do something stupid.
...End of Flashback...
Maybe it was better not to tell Benjamin anything about it. Besides, he would never see him again.
"Kalel, is everything okay? Your voice is strange...is it because of what happened to Tyler? Don't worry, he's fine, isn't he?"
Walker showed his typical voice of concern. Kalel didn't look well, his voice was strange.
"It's all right, Ben. Nothing happened… by the way, when are you coming to see me?" He changed the subject, still staring at that sky. And deep down hoping that Isaac would look at that same beauty…
"I'm finishing the move. Our apartments aren't close, which sucks! I still have to organize a few things…"
From there, Kalel didn't hear anything else. As if the information didn't reach his mind…
...I still love you, Isaac....
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