I am currently 32 years old. And in all that time, I haven't felt a drop of happiness... I suppose this is what they call karma...
...These are the consequences of 15 years ago. When I hurt the only thing that made me feel a strange sensation in my stomach. Someone I wanted to protect and care for...
...His name... is Kalel...
He was my light in the midst of everything...
My family problems, everything. That boarding school was my escape from my turbulent life. But that boy was the refuge of my soul. And at the same time, my total destruction...
...Amidst all those desperate thoughts... he made me want to live...
All this time, I've wondered how he was doing...
...Is he okay?...
I've asked myself these questions thousands of times...
I messed up his mind and left him just like me...
I'm a piece of shit...
I remember the day he left; I watched from that same window where we first made eye contact. When I saw him break down like that, I felt this crazy urge to go there, hug him, and tell him that everything was going to be alright...
...But how could I do that if I didn't even believe those words myself?...
I left him because it was better for him...
Getting involved with me would be problematic and could further damage his psyche...
He could come back anytime and hurt you. Because he didn't love you... like I love you. He hated you precisely because he wanted to love you.
This lonely side of me hates you, Kalel...
But I love you. I love you so much that it's impossible. At the same time that I want to take care of you... deep down...
I want to push you away and make you disappear...
You couldn't live with both of us. We are one, and that's a problem...
I guess it wasn't much use studying at the best school in the country. After all, I became a simple gang leader...
About my friends...
I have no idea how they are... I just know that Andrew took over the family mafia and the other businesses. Dario got married and had a daughter...
I guess we're not friends anymore... I guess time can tear things apart after all.
I think time is the supreme God. It does whatever it wants with anything and everything...
...In the end... it is destiny. And the one who knows all...
"Boss, I think you should lay off the weed..." My henchman snapped me out of my thoughts, making me sit up straight in my black leather chair.
"I didn't give you permission to interfere in my life, Cedric," I said coldly, releasing the smoke from the joint that was now between my fingers.
...Cedric Collins...
...Cedric sighed, dropping some papers on the table. He seemed sad...
"The Falcon is planning something. He and his gang were seen entering that movie theater with several crates. They probably contained weapons and explosives. It's an enclosed space, perfect for ambushing them and taking over their territory..." he changed the subject and looked away from the extremely sexy man in front of him. That position wasn't helping much...
"So that pathetic creature has started to act... hahaha," he laughed, mocking the man mentioned. "Gather the men, we're going to finish him off once and for all," he said seriously, putting his joint out in the ashtray and leaving the room.
"Sir, a very famous new movie is premiering today. There are a lot of people there..." he looked away. "They could get caught in the crossfire..." he said this last part in a lower voice. Perhaps he was afraid of the answer.
"So what? People die all the time." He clenched his jaw in irritation and quickened his pace. The white-haired man was left behind, somewhat hesitant.
"(Which one of them is in charge this time?)" he thought, looking at the broad shoulders in front of him.
... ... ...
...Isaac walked through the crowd that seemed mesmerized by his appearance...
"(Why am I feeling so anxious all of a sudden?)" His heartbeat was getting louder and louder, to the point where he could hear it in his head.
It was as if he felt something was about to happen? What was this feeling that completely took over him and filled his mind? He quickened his pace...
He was in a hurry. He wanted to find this "thing" as quickly as possible. Maybe the weed was kicking in? No. It was already kicking in before...
...What the hell is this?...
The dark-haired man asked himself, so focused on what was in front of him that he didn't even notice what was beside him. A blond man with green eyes who had caught his attention so much in the past...
In the end, he didn't find what he was looking for...
When will they meet again?
Who knows...
After all, only fate knows. You know why?
...Because it knows all...
If I saw Kalel again, I wonder how I would react? How would he react? Would he smile at me?
I remember when I made his smile disappear. At the time, I didn't understand and felt happy because I was being selfish and stayed by his side. Because he made me smile like no one ever had before. I wanted to taste more of that flavor and continued to hurt him...
I'm sorry for making your smile disappear, Kalel. I think adolescence is a terrible time to love someone because surely no teenager fully loves themselves...
They just pretend...
We hate everything about ourselves and hide it. Those are the cowards and liars. We pretend to love our bodies but hate them...
I envy you who admit to hating yourselves. You are the bravest and truest. You speak the truth...
How can I love someone if I didn't even love myself? And to be honest, I still hate myself...
I'm sorry Kalel, I didn't know how to love you and ended up hurting you, please don't forgive me. Never forgive me unless everything happens exactly as it did back then...
And about you, my troubled little teenagers, love yourselves, okay? Accept your flaws; everyone has them. You are all beautiful in your own way. Live freely and reject those who harm you. All people are the most beautiful works of art. And you know why?
"Because we are all free, and those who are free are beautiful birds that must fly and leave this ground that binds them so."
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