Love has it's own flavours. The one I got to taste was no less than poison.
“I remember once you bought me white roses. They were so beautiful.” I smiled, admiring a bittersweet memory in my head.
“Oh, you remember.”
I blinked my eyes open, “You don't.”
That's when I heard him chuckle. He was standing in front of me, yet the phone in his hands for a reason recieved more of his attention than me. Moreover, just like that, he laughed it off as if it was nothing. But then again, it was nothing to him. As for me...the case was different.
I couldn't help myself but let out an overthought, “One day you will forget the whole me.”
“There is chance.” He replied quickly followed by another riling chuckle.
A joke. All of it was nothing more than a joke to him. It hurted that I believed the complete opposite of it.
I already wanted to cry at the fact that he didn't remember any of the things we did together- the fact that US meant nothing to him. When he confirmed he could actually forget me- vanish me from his life, I unwillingly let out the tears I was holding back. It went unnoticed by him, of course. He was busy with his phone. He didn't bother to look up at me even once.
“Leave.” I told him. Sterness was clear in my voice.
I could bear the pain unconditional love gave me but I couldn't bear me being absolutely nothing to him. I wasn't treated like a lover but not even as a friend. He would forget me. He would forget me for real. He would vanish me like I never existed. He would-
I didn't want to be forgotten. Not by him.
He had hurted me enough. I was the defination of nothing to him- that's what I realised but it was already too late. I was in love...crazily, stupidly, unconditionally. He had successfully ruined me.
“Why?”
I remained quiet for a while, coping with the heartbroken feeling inside, till I finally uttered. “Cause why not.”
“Point.” He grinned and turned his phone off before looking at me. Sure he had no reasons to stick up with me. It had always been me, the one who keeps pulling him. "You're free from me." He added.
I had managed to sweep my tears away. I didn't want him to see me crying so pathetically.
Free from him? That's what he said? I wish him saying so could make it actually happen. I didn't know if him leaving me would heal me a little or worsen my condition, but I surely knew I could never be free from his PRISON OF LOVE.
Prison of love, where I was chained up with brutal fondness and some sweet memories- those only I remembered and reminisced almost everyday.
“Have a good life.” He said and walked away. It's over..isn't it? He left the place that day but unfortunately he never left this place, here, left of my chest, inside my heart, where his existence stings so much.
I loved an arsehole,
till the end,
from the very start.
