Chapter 4

School days passed quickly, blurring into each other like pages flipped too fast. And before long, the three boys—Lucas, Stephen, and Benjamin—became inseparable in the eyes of everyone around them. Wherever one went, the other two were never far behind.

They ate lunch together at their usual table near the back of the cafeteria, the one with a good view of the windows. They joked around in the hallways between classes, voices mingling with the chatter of other students. Sometimes, even after the final bell rang, they stayed behind in the emptying school courtyard just to talk, letting the minutes slip away until the sun dipped low.

Even outside of school, their bond grew stronger. Lucas often invited Stephen and Benjamin to his house on weekends, and it didn’t take long before those visits became routine.

Lucas’s home was big but not cold, filled with warmth, the faint scent of fresh flowers from the vases his mother loved, and golden light streaming in from wide windows. His older sister, April, always seemed to appear at the door first whenever they arrived.

“Stephen! Benjamin!” she would greet them with a bright smile, tugging them inside without hesitation. She loved having company, and she especially loved how her brother’s friends treated her with kindness and respect.

Sometimes, the three of them would gather in the living room, a pile of snacks balancing precariously on the coffee table. The TV screen glowed with colors from whatever movie they had decided to watch, but often, the sound of their laughter filled the air more than the film itself.

Lucas would lean back against the couch, half-listening to the plot, half-listening to his friends. The sound of Stephen’s loud, unrestrained laugh mingled with Benjamin’s calmer, lower voice, and something about that combination made Lucas’s chest tighten with a quiet, unspoken happiness.

He felt… content. Almost too content.

It was strange. He had never thought much about dating before. Despite being popular, despite the steady flow of confessions he had turned down, relationships had always seemed like something distant, something unnecessary. He was fine on his own. That was what he had always believed.

But lately, things were different.

Every time Benjamin smiled at him across the couch, Lucas’s heartbeat quickened, skipping in a way that felt dangerous. Every time Benjamin leaned close to whisper something during class, the world seemed to narrow to just the two of them, his chest tightening as though he couldn’t breathe.

And in the back of his mind, Stephen’s teasing words returned to haunt him again and again: “You like him… don’t you?”

Lucas had denied it. He had laughed it off. But the more time he spent with Benjamin, the harder it was to keep lying to himself.

One evening, after Stephen had gone home, Lucas found himself alone in his room. He lay on his bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, his thoughts circling endlessly like restless birds.

I never wanted to date anyone. I never cared. But with him… it feels different. Could it really be what Stephen said? Do I actually like Benjamin?

The thought scared him. It was new, unfamiliar, confusing. And yet, he couldn’t deny it anymore—not completely.

But as the weeks passed, Lucas began to notice something else.

Stephen and Benjamin were growing close—maybe too close.

At first, Lucas hadn’t minded. After all, they were all friends. It was natural for Stephen and Benjamin to talk, laugh, and share things with each other. That was how friendships worked. He told himself it was normal, that there was no reason to feel uneasy.

But then there were the moments he hadn’t expected.

One afternoon, he discovered that Stephen and Benjamin had gone to the arcade after school without telling him. Another day, he overheard them casually mention studying together at the library while he had been at basketball practice. Neither had seemed like a big deal, but to Lucas, they left a sting.

He tried to smile, tried to act like it didn’t matter. “That’s fine,” he said whenever it came up. “You two probably had fun.”

But deep inside, something heavy pressed against his chest, weighing him down.

He told himself it wasn’t jealousy. It can’t be jealousy, he insisted. They were his best friends—his favorite people. Why would he be jealous of them spending time together?

And yet…

Every time he saw Stephen and Benjamin whispering to each other, laughing at some inside joke he wasn’t part of, his stomach twisted with discomfort. Whenever Benjamin leaned a little closer to Stephen, Lucas’s heart sank in a way he couldn’t explain.

He hated the feeling.

During lunch one day, the three of them sat at their usual table. Stephen launched into a story about something that had happened in gym class, waving his hands animatedly, his grin wide. Benjamin laughed softly, his eyes warm as he leaned in to listen.

Lucas sat across from them, chopsticks hovering above his tray, but his mind wasn’t on the food. He found himself staring, a hollow ache spreading in his chest as if he were invisible, as though the two of them were in their own world and he was just watching from the outside.

Stephen caught his gaze mid-laugh. “What’s wrong?”

Lucas blinked, caught off guard. He quickly shook his head, forcing his lips into a smile. “Nothing. Just tired.”

But it wasn’t the truth. What he felt wasn’t tiredness—it was jealousy.

And the worst part was, he knew it.

Still, he kept it hidden. Lucas wasn’t the type to complain or pick fights over small things. He had a reputation—calm, composed, easygoing. He didn’t want to ruin that image. Besides, they were his best friends. They deserved to enjoy each other’s company.

And yet, no matter how many times he repeated that to himself, the ache refused to fade.

That evening, Lucas drove Stephen home. The car ride was unusually quiet, the only sound the hum of the engine and the faint music playing on the radio.

Stephen looked out the window, humming softly to himself, while Lucas gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles pale. Words pressed against his throat, heavy and desperate. He wanted to say, I feel left out. I don’t like it when you two spend time without me.

But the words never left his mouth.

When they pulled up in front of Stephen’s house, Stephen unbuckled his seatbelt and gave Lucas his usual cheerful grin. “See you tomorrow.”

Lucas forced a smile in return, nodding. “Yeah. Tomorrow.”

As Stephen waved goodbye and stepped out of the car, the silence rushed back in, heavier than before. Driving home alone, Lucas let out a long, shaky sigh. His reflection in the windshield looked tired, conflicted.

He didn’t understand himself anymore. He didn’t understand why his heart raced whenever Benjamin was near, or why jealousy burned inside him when Benjamin was close to Stephen.

All he knew was this: life had been simple before Benjamin came. But now, everything felt complicated.

And Lucas wasn’t sure he was ready for what those feelings truly meant.

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