Chapter 3

Lucas had always been good at staying calm. It was one of the things people admired about him. No matter how many people confessed to him—slipping love letters into his locker, shyly stammering in front of him, or even boldly declaring their feelings in the middle of the hallway—he never lost control of himself. He could smile, be polite, and then move on like nothing had happened.

To everyone else, he seemed untouchable, like someone who couldn’t be shaken. Lucas was the type of person who could keep a straight face even when the whole class whispered about him. He had perfected the art of appearing confident, collected, almost untouchable.

But ever since Benjamin arrived, things felt… different.

It started small, almost too small to notice at first. A glance across the classroom, eyes catching for just a second longer than necessary. A smile that felt warmer, softer, more directed. A laugh that didn’t just fade into background noise but clung to Lucas’s ears, echoing in his chest long after it had passed.

And whenever Benjamin sat near him, it was worse. Lucas’s chest would tighten, his heart thudding like he had run a race even though he hadn’t moved at all. His thoughts scattered in every direction. His usually calm demeanor wavered, though he tried desperately to hide it.

What’s wrong with me? Lucas asked himself again and again. He had never felt this way before. Not with any girl who had confessed, not with the boys who admired him from afar. All those feelings others projected onto him—desire, affection, admiration—he had never really returned. This was new. Strange. Confusing.

At first, Lucas convinced himself it was nothing. Curiosity, maybe. After all, Benjamin was new. Anyone would pay a little more attention to the new transfer student—his accent, his style, his easy smile. That was normal. That was logical.

But the more time they spent together, the harder it became to believe his own excuses.

Benjamin soon slipped into their small circle as though he had always belonged there. He often joined Lucas and Stephen at lunch, sometimes bringing his own stories that had them laughing so hard they nearly choked on their food. After school, he walked with them partway, hands in his pockets, throwing out jokes that made Stephen snort and Lucas grin despite himself.

The three of them fit together easily—maybe too easily.

Stephen welcomed Benjamin without hesitation, always cracking jokes, always finding ways to include him. And Lucas… well, Lucas pretended nothing was wrong. On the outside, he was still the same Lucas everyone admired: friendly, confident, unbothered. But inside, he was restless. Uneasy.

Every time Benjamin leaned closer to talk, Lucas’s throat felt dry. Every time Benjamin’s hand brushed against his, even by accident, Lucas had to force himself not to jerk away or, worse, hold on. Every time Benjamin smiled at him—really smiled—Lucas’s stomach twisted with strange butterflies he couldn’t explain.

He hated it. He didn’t understand it. And no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t control it.

One afternoon, when Benjamin had gone home early, Lucas and Stephen found themselves hanging out alone. It felt almost nostalgic, like things had been before Benjamin appeared. The two best friends stopped at a small café near school, the kind of place where the bell above the door jingled when you entered and the tables were pushed close together.

They sat by the wide front window, milkshakes in front of them, straws poking out at awkward angles. The late afternoon sunlight spilled through the glass, painting the table golden. Outside, students in uniform drifted past, chatting loudly, while a couple of adults hurried home from work.

Stephen stirred his drink lazily, making the ice clink against the glass, before glancing sideways at Lucas. “You’ve been acting weird lately.”

Lucas raised an eyebrow, keeping his face calm. “Weird? Me?”

“Yeah,” Stephen said with a smirk tugging at his lips. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed. Every time Benjamin’s around, you get this… strange look on your face.”

Lucas froze for a fraction of a second before quickly scoffing, trying to mask it with practiced ease. “You’re imagining things.”

Stephen leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand with mock seriousness. “Am I? Or is there something you’re not telling me?”

Lucas shifted uncomfortably in his chair, eyes flicking to the condensation running down his glass. He sighed, the weight of his confusion pressing on him until the words slipped out before he could stop them.

“I don’t know, Stephen. It’s just… when Benjamin’s around, I feel… strange. Like my chest is too tight. Like I can’t think straight.” He ran a hand through his hair in frustration, messing up the strands he usually kept neat. “I don’t understand it. I’ve never felt this before.”

For a moment, Stephen just stared at him. Lucas braced himself for a serious lecture, maybe some teasing, but then—suddenly—Stephen burst out laughing.

Lucas gave him a sharp look. “What’s so funny?”

Stephen grinned wider, his eyes glinting with mischief. “You like him. Don’t you?”

Lucas nearly choked on his drink. He sputtered, coughing, his face heating against his will. “What?! No! Don’t say stupid things like that.”

Stephen leaned back in his chair, folding his arms triumphantly. “Oh, come on. You totally like him. Look at you—blushing just from talking about him.”

“I am not blushing,” Lucas snapped, quickly averting his eyes. He made a disgusted face, as if the accusation itself was ridiculous. “He’s a guy. And so am I.”

Stephen only laughed harder, nearly doubling over in his chair. He clutched his stomach like Lucas had just told the best joke in the world. “So what? It’s okay if you’re gay, Lucas. Nothing wrong with that.”

Lucas glared at him, jaw tight, lips pressed into a thin line. “I’m not. You’re crazy.”

“Sure, sure,” Stephen teased, drawing out the words like he was humoring a child. “Keep telling yourself that.”

Lucas rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair, trying to look as bored as possible. He gave Stephen a side glance, voice dripping with irritation. “You’re annoying, you know that?”

Stephen smirked, sipping his milkshake with exaggerated innocence. “Maybe. But I’m also right.”

Lucas groaned and buried his face in his hands, wishing he hadn’t said anything. Why had he trusted Stephen with even a fraction of his feelings? His best friend was supposed to help him, not laugh at him until the whole café turned to look.

The worst part was that Stephen’s words lingered, repeating themselves in Lucas’s mind no matter how hard he tried to ignore them.

You like him. Don’t you?

Lucas shook his head quickly, muttering under his breath. “This is stupid. It’ll go away. It’s just… a phase or something.”

Stephen chuckled softly, but there was something gentler in his tone this time, almost thoughtful. “Whatever you say, Lucas.”

Lucas gave him another sharp side glance, but he didn’t reply. He couldn’t. His chest felt tight again—not just because of Benjamin this time, but because he was afraid Stephen might actually be right.

He didn’t want to think about that.

Not yet.

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