The Fourth Wall

[Front of the TV. Cyborg comes in.]

Cyborg: Oh, yeah! It's TV night!

Beast Boy: Let's numb our minds, yo![Beast Boy starts to switch channels. Control Freak unexpectedly shows up.]

control freak: Hello, Titans.

Robin: Ugh, Control Freak. Change it.[Beast Boy again switches channels.]

control freak: Don't bother changing the channel.

Beast Boy: Blah, there's nothing good on tonight.

control freak: Stop... [Switches.] changing... [Switches.] the... [Switches.] CHANNEL!

Robin: Control Freak, your evil pop culture references aren't welcome here! What is the reasoning of this interruption?

control freak: Well, I heard it was TV night at the tower and I have the perfect show for you to watch. Enjoy![The Theme Song starts to play.]

Raven: Wait, that's us.

Beast Boy: That's my jam! T-I-T-A-N-S. Go!

Cyborg: We're in a show?[The TV itself changes back to Control Freak.]

control freak: No. You are a show.

Robin: What are you talking about, you corrupt couch potato?

control freak: I have turned the Teen Titans into entertainment. At this very moment, you are being broadcast to TVs around the world!

Robin: People are watching us?

control freak: Your every move! The audience is watching you from just beyond the fourth wall. Look for yourself.[The Titans head to the viewer.]

Raven: People are watching us without our permission? Ew! What a bunch of creeps.

Cyborg: Creeps!

Starfire: The creeps.

Beast Boy: You fools be creepy!

control freak: Hey, stop antagonizing the audience!

Robin: I see why you'd want to broadcast this. But what's your evil game?

control freak: This show was supposed to be my greatest achievement. It was supposed to bring me awards and the respect of the entertainment industry. Instead, everyone thinks it's garbage!

Starfire: Why would anyone dislike us?

control freak: Oh, I don’t know - dookie jokes!

Raven: We don’t just do dookie jokes.

Beast Boy: Yeah! We do toot jokes, too, yo. [Farts.]

control freak: Your sense of humor is so lowbrow.[Cyborg lowers his eyebrows.]

Cyborg: Yeah, lowbrow! You’ve encapsulated us so well.

control freak: And then, there’s your acting. If you can call incessant screaming “acting.”

Starfire: [Screams.] But we are not the acting. This is how we are!

control freak: That’s even worse. And finally, the audience hates how you look.

Robin: Impossible.

control freak: I’m talking about the animation quality. Look for yourself.[Switch to a scene of Cyborg entering the kitchen with Beast Boy already in there. Cyborg walks differently, then "glitches" and his arm and "toes" come off. TV switches back to Control Freak.]

Robin: Oh, I’m so sorry you didn’t get any precious golden statues or industry accolades, [Screams.] but we don’t care!

control freak: But you will. Because if this show doesn’t get better soon, I will reboot you all.

Cyborg: You’re bluffing.

control freak: Oh, yeah? I’ve rebooted the Teen Titans once before. Look upon your previous incarnations.[TV switches to clips from 2003's Teen Titans.]

Cyborg: That looks like us...but better!

control freak: These Teen Titans were about character development, drama and heart.

Robin: I used to be so much cooler.[The others agree.]

Raven: Shh, I want to watch.[Clips start to begin.]

Cyborg: Oh. Oh.

Beast Boy: Wow.

Raven: Whoa![Clips continue playing until the final scene where Beast Boy's 2003 appearance runs into white light. Cut to black.]

Beast Boy: What? That’s how it ends?

Starfire: And there is no sixth season to resolve the plot’s hanging from the cliff?

Robin: You ended that show? You monster.

control freak: Okay, okay, okay. I admit, rebooting those Titans, it was a mistake. But rebooting you won't be if you don't bring me an award and soon. Freak out![The TV turns off.]

Robin: Titans, this is perhaps the most serious threat we've ever faced. Er, where's Beast Boy?

Cyborg: Doing his underpants dance in front of the fourth wall.

Beast Boy: Yo, creeps, you want to be creepy? Creep on this. Creeping like a creeper. Creeping like a creeper.

Raven: Get away from there, Beast Boy. No one wants to see that.

Beast Boy: Oh, yeah, they do. Uh, uh, uh. Creeping like a creeper.[Raven crushes Beast Boy at the fourth wall, rendering him unconscious.]

Robin: Titans, focus. You heard Control Freak. If we don't improve this show, we'll be rebooted.

Beast Boy: Well, if you think we should add more toots, I gots toots for days.

Robin: Stop with the toots and dookie! They don't hand out golden statues for dookie.

Beast Boy: But they do hand out toilet paper. [Laughs.]

Robin: That's the kind of joke that's going to get us rebooted. If we are going to play Control Freak's demented game, it's time to lose the lowbrow humor—which means no more dookie jokes. We do smart people comedy from now on! Now, shut your butts and let's get highbrow.[Cut to next scene. Starfire, Beast Boy, Cyborg, Robin, and Raven start to act fancy. Starfire, Cyborg, Beast Boy, and Raven sit on a table drinking tea. Robin is seen in the background riding a horse.]

Starfire: [British accent.] I do say, did you hear the news about the election?

Cyborg: [British accent.] You'll have to speak up, I'm listening to the current exit polls concerning the election. [He and Starfire share a laugh.]

Raven: [British accent.] Would you care for a pear?

Beast Boy: [British accent.] A pair of what? [He and Raven also share a laugh.]

Robin: [British accent.] Ah, nice word play, Titans, and those puns. Now, let's check those brows.[Robin detects the Titans' highbrow humor by using his communicator. It states: "My, that's high!". Cut to next scene.]

Robin: Our next step to becoming a respectable, award winning show is improving our acting. You're each going to say this line with the emotion I give you. Cyborg, sadness.

Cyborg: "Mary took her ducks to the pond where they ate bread. Ro—" [Robin throws a tomato at him.]

Robin: Did you lose your heart when you got those robot parts?

Cyborg: Hmm, yes!

Robin: Starfire, anger.

Starfire: "The Merry ducks went to the pond and ate—"

Robin: That performance makes me angry! Raven, happiness.

Raven: "Mary took her ducks to—"

Robin: [Sarcastically, then wistles.] Talk about range. Terrible. Beast Boy, show me heart break.

Beast Boy: "Mary—"

Robin: Boo! Boo! Watch me and you'll see what an award-winning performance looks like. [In a different voice, British accent.] Mary took her ducks to the pond where they ate bread crumbs.[Robin sheds a tear, just for the acting.]

Raven: Whoa.[Cut to next scene.]

Robin: Well, Titans, we've improved our acting and humor, but award season is almost here and we still have to do something about how we look. Our design and animation.

Raven: You mean bringing dead people back to life? Azarath Metrion Zinthos! [Raven revives three zombies.]

Robin: No, that's reanimation, Raven.

Raven: Oh, sorry, guys. [The three zombies come back down.]

Robin: Animation is created by countless talented animators laboring day and night to create the illusion of life. And, in our case... [To the viewer.]...they're doing a terrible job.

Starfire: I am sure the animators are doing their very best with the limited budget and aggressive schedule. [Raven, Starfire, Beast Boy, and Cyborg look at the viewer.]

Robin: No excuse! Hey, animators, take it up a notch! We need higher quality and a more whimsical style. Hop to it, let's go![The animator turns the background and the Titans whimsy, therefore rebooting them.]

Cyborg: [Whistles.] Now, that is some whimsy.

Beast Boy: Feels like a student film, yo!

Starfire: Oh, yes, a true labor of the love.

Raven: The quality of movement, it's astounding.

Robin: Now, let's put it all together and get ourselves some accolades.[Cut to Titans Tower; it and the pelican also look whimsy.]

Cyborg: [British accent.] Would any of you care for a slice of rhubarb pie? [A rhubarb pie pops out of his hat.]

Starfire: [In a masculine British accent.] Why, I would love nothing more in the world than a slice of 3.14159.

Raven: [British accent.] How circular of you, Starfire!

Beast Boy: [British accent, laughs.] Good one. Good one. Now, if you would all excuse me, I need to toot. [He plays a horn.]

Robin: [British accent.] How wonderful! I believe our brows are the highest they've ever been and our performances are worthy of Shakespeare.[The TV turns on, revealing Control Freak.]

control freak: Congratulations, Titans. This is a big improvement.

Starfire: Then, does this mean you are not going to "reshoe" us?

control freak: Oh, I don't have to. You already rebooted yourselves.

Robin: This was your evil game the whole time!

control freak: I can't believe how easy it was to make you change everything about yourself.

Raven: We won't let you get away with this! Never!

control freak: Oh, you have no choice. I can still reboot you with the push of a button. Now, just sit back, be charming, and let the accolades roll in. [Laughs evilly.]

Robin: [Normal voice.] No, we have to be true to ourselves, even if it means being rebooted. Titans, toot![Starfire starts to toot.]

control freak: No, no, no, no! This is so low brow.

Robin: All together.[The Titans start to toot a musical number in front of Control Freak, until everything goes back to normal.]

Beast Boy: We's back, yo!

control freak: Not for long.

Robin: Reboot us if you want, Control Freak, but we are proud of who we are and what we represent, and we are not changing any of that based on your evil whims. We are the Teen Titans![Cut to a scene with the Titans' chibi forms, dancing like they did in the season three intro.]

Singer: We're in the club getting' busy!

control freak: Wow! That was really beautiful. Maybe you guys aren't so awful after all.

Cyborg: Then, you won't reboot us?

control freak: Oh, no, I'm doing that for sure. Now, look out at your audience for the last time.

Robin: The fourth wall. Titans, we have to break the fourth wall! Then he won't be able to broadcast us!

Beast Boy: Creeps![Beast Boy, as a goat, smashes the screen. Cyborg, Robin, Starfire, and Raven also smash it, causing the screen to go pitch black.]

control freak: Oh, great!

Episode ends.

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