lonely girl

*sign* what can I do? I should have been invisible because of my fear, but I am searching everywhere what is the problem that I can't play well like others I should have done it but can't. It made me loose lot of chances and I just know in my area but not outside.

What's worst is I can't show my skills to anyone in that State *sign*. This makes me a coward and try to hide from every one. Those times I like to read newspapers. That is the turning point those words curved in my heart like nothing can erase it. You wanted to know what it is.

It said it like this A tree does not grow in a day, and it is not strong from the day 1, but it is all alone without anyone's help. It grows on its own will that stands strong even in the Storm be a tree that stands strong and spread its shadow to everyone that comes for your help

Can you all understand those words, but it takes me a long time to understand it deeply, and I started to observe everything around me

And I understand what makes me live and breathe in this land is food isn't it? Then what is more to live that is love right that is what we feel? From where we feel it? Isn't it?

So I found you just need yourself for love, so it's ok to be bad it's ok to be ugly, but there is one person for you all the time

You know that person too!!!

Yeah, that is you..... Yourself it's simple just to live without anything in the world

It's crazy right? But it's just loving our own self is much easier than expect love from others

Yep it's simpler then I thought so too, so I stopped expecting love from my parents and joined work in football clubs as a Couch. It's not much but it's so satisfying, and I brought what I love every time for food to the point of hating it, but it is also a new type of joy I rented a room near my working place it's so small, but comfortable I decorate it as my hobby but I love it

It gives me home feeling which is safe and comfortable

But this peacefulness never mean to be mine.

My parents called me one day to invite for my wedding!!

I am stunned for a movement !!! Yeah, my wedding I am panicked and asked them again and again what are you talking about!!!!!!

It's so shocking that it's in one week!!

My travel to my hometown from there is two days

Fu**ing two days and I don't know who he is ? It's the worst nightmare ever had they threaten me with their lives too

I asked them are you doing this on purpose.....

I am once again disappointed with them... :(

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