I Didn’t Want to Want You
Setting: College Campus | Two Weeks After the Fresher’s Party |
Since that night under the lights and music, Siyara hadn’t spoken a word to Yuvraj.
Not in class.
Not in corridors.
Not in dreams—though he showed up there often, uninvited.
They had drifted into an almost cruel silence.
And every time she caught his gaze across the lecture hall, it felt like looking at a wound—fresh and waiting.
The fresher’s party was now a memory.
But the feel of his hand on her back?
His voice against her ear?
Still lived under her skin like an echo that wouldn’t fade.
Siyara Banerjee.FL.
*Preparing for the final exam.*
Paromita Banarjee.FL MOM.
*Brings a glass of milk with nuts*
Siyara Banerjee.FL.
*Smiles*
"Thanks maa*
Paromita Banarjee.FL MOM.
*Smiles*
Are you ok ?
Siyara Banerjee.FL.
"Yes maa, Why are you asking ?"
Paromita Banarjee.FL MOM.
*Smile fades*
"Because I am your mother."
Siyara Banerjee.FL.
*Fadely Smiles*
*Wanted to cry for the painful confusions inside her brain but controlled her emotions*
Paromita Banarjee.FL MOM.
"Listen princess, I just want to say a little thing. I and your father never stopped you in anything because we know you are our sincere child. So trust the process my baby and never restrain your heart. Now focus on studies.*
*Smiles while gently patting her head*
Siyara Banerjee.FL.
*Smiles*
College Campus | After the Final Exam
Students exhaled. Some cheered. Others cried from relief.
But Siyara walked out slowly, her paper held loosely in her hand.
Siyara Banerjee.FL.
*Her brain had answered everything.
But her heart was still full of questions.*
Later at Campus Lawn | Late Afternoon
Siyara Banerjee.FL.
*She sat alone under the gulmohar tree, the usual group noise buzzing faintly in the background.*
Her coffee flask rested beside her. But it had gone cold—just like the space she kept around her lately.
Her phone buzzed—Avinash.
Abhinash Oberoi
Message
> “Café? Celebration? At least show up to say hi.”
Siyara Banerjee.FL.
*She didn’t answer.*
Her fingers hovered.
Paused.
Slipped the phone into her bag.
Because it wasn’t Avinash she was thinking about.
Memory: The Dance Floor. His fingers on her skin. When his eyes were saying but didn't express it through words—“Don’t let him touch what’s already mine.”
Her lips still tingled from the kiss she hadn’t returned.
Her chest still tightened from the tears that followed.
And her soul?
It had started to whisper a name she had tried to silence.
Siyara Banerjee.FL.
(whispering):
“Yuvraj.”
She shut her eyes tight. Hugged her knees to her chest.
She didn’t want this.
Didn’t want him.
Didn’t want to feel—
But it was already too late.
Because what he had awakened in her…
wasn’t just lust.
It was fear.
Need.
A pull she couldn’t undo.
And in that quiet afternoon sunlight—
She finally admitted it.
Siyara Banerjee.FL.
(broken):
“I didn’t want to want you…”
The lights were off. The ceiling fan hummed softly.
Rested on her bed, Wearing a pink bunny payjama. Her eyes stared at the screen—his name glowing in the chat.
Her fingers typed.
*Message*
> “I hate that you made me feel everything I was afraid of.”
She paused.
Deleted.
Typed again.
Siyara Banerjee.FL.
Message
> “I don’t know what we are. But I can’t pretend anymore.”
Then she lay back, heart racing.
And for the first time in weeks—
She cried not from confusion.
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