Hey author, I love your story so far. It’s very intriguing and well written, but I think there could be some improvements in the dialogue writing like this dialogue. In my opinion, I think “Ravish” is the word you were looking for when you wrote “r@pe”, and that is a better word to put here. I’m not trying to patronise but yeah I thought I could help here. Love you 🎀😘
2025-03-18
4
ִֶָ𓂃 ִֶָ Neha𓍯𓂃
please don't use the word rape casually. it's uncomfortable.
![Kieran Yee [Mc/DA]](https://up-pic.mangatoon.mobi/contribute/fiction/9440916/avatar/37782005/1729857095598.jpeg-s200webp?sign=fd3c03910226768d883e85815ac14da9&t=68004480)
![Knox Young [Ml/E]](https://up-pic.mangatoon.mobi/contribute/fiction/9440916/avatar/37782005/1729865396284.jpeg-s200webp?sign=1212add357fc7f537e08d4c84207ab52&t=68004480)
Comments
MK
Hey author, I love your story so far. It’s very intriguing and well written, but I think there could be some improvements in the dialogue writing like this dialogue. In my opinion, I think “Ravish” is the word you were looking for when you wrote “r@pe”, and that is a better word to put here. I’m not trying to patronise but yeah I thought I could help here.
Love you 🎀😘
2025-03-18
4
ִֶָ𓂃 ִֶָ Neha𓍯𓂃
please don't use the word rape casually. it's uncomfortable.
2025-03-22
2
fumiko
I don't feel good for ml like seriously 😕
2025-02-07
0