The King's Desire

The days following Thomas’s tentative acceptance passed slowly. An unspoken truce now existed between him and Alexander, but it was fragile, like a thin layer of ice that could shatter at any moment. The palace buzzed with its usual activity, but beneath the surface, Thomas could feel the weight of every glance, every whisper that followed him as he moved through the halls.

He did his best to stay busy, throwing himself into his knightly duties, overseeing the training of new recruits, and performing the daily patrols in the palace’s outer territories. But even as he tried to lose himself in his work, his mind kept drifting back to Alexander.

The king had not sought him out since their conversation in Alexander’s chambers. Thomas wasn’t sure if he was relieved or disappointed by that fact. Part of him craved the space, the time to think and process everything that had happened, but another part of him couldn’t help but wonder what Alexander was thinking.

That question was answered one evening when a royal messenger found Thomas in the practice yard.

“The king has requested your presence, Sir Thomas,” the messenger said, bowing slightly.

Thomas wiped the sweat from his brow, nodding at the messenger. “When?”

“Immediately,” the messenger replied. “He’s waiting in his private chambers.”

Thomas’s heart skipped a beat, and for a moment, he hesitated. He hadn’t been back to Alexander’s chambers since that night, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready to face whatever conversation lay ahead. But he knew he couldn’t avoid the king forever.

“Tell him I’ll be there shortly,” Thomas said, dismissing the messenger.

After a quick wash and change of clothes, Thomas made his way to Alexander’s chambers. The guards outside the doors gave him a curt nod as they stepped aside, allowing him to pass. The heavy wooden doors creaked open, and Thomas stepped inside, the familiar scent of the room—smoke, leather, and something distinctly Alexander—filling his senses.

Alexander was standing by the window, his back to the door, gazing out at the sunset that painted the sky in shades of orange and gold. He didn’t turn around when Thomas entered, but the tension in his posture told Thomas that the king had been waiting.

“You wanted to see me?” Thomas’s voice sounded more uncertain than he had intended, but he couldn’t help it. The air between them felt charged, like a storm waiting to break.

Alexander finally turned, his expression unreadable. “Yes. I thought it was time we talked again.”

Thomas nodded, though his heart was racing. “About what?”

Alexander moved away from the window, crossing the room until he stood just a few feet away from Thomas. His gaze was intense, piercing in a way that made Thomas feel exposed, as though the king could see right through him.

“I’ve been thinking about what you said,” Alexander began, his voice low. “About how you’re not ready. I’ve tried to give you space, but I can’t pretend that I don’t want more than this uneasy truce between us.”

Thomas’s throat tightened, his mind racing. He had known this conversation was coming, but he still wasn’t sure what to say. The truth was, he didn’t know how he felt about Alexander. There was still so much resentment, so much confusion. But beneath that, there was something else—a pull, a desire that he was struggling to understand.

“I told you, I’m not sure what I want,” Thomas said, his voice quieter now, as if he were confessing something to himself more than to Alexander.

Alexander stepped closer, his eyes searching Thomas’s. “And I told you I’m willing to wait. But that doesn’t change how I feel.”

Thomas’s breath caught in his throat as Alexander’s hand reached out, gently brushing against his arm. The touch was light, barely there, but it sent a jolt through Thomas’s body that he couldn’t ignore.

“What do you want from me, Alexander?” Thomas asked, his voice trembling with uncertainty and something else—something dangerously close to anticipation.

“I want you, Thomas,” Alexander said, his voice steady, but there was a vulnerability in his eyes that made Thomas’s heart ache. “I’ve wanted you for a long time, even before Julie. But I never acted on it because I knew how much she meant to both of us.”

Thomas’s mind reeled, struggling to process what Alexander was saying. The king had wanted him? Before all of this?

“I don’t expect you to feel the same way,” Alexander continued, his hand dropping back to his side. “But I’m tired of pretending that I don’t care. I’m tired of pretending that this marriage is just a duty.”

Thomas took a step back, his emotions warring within him. The idea that Alexander had wanted him all this time—it was too much to take in. How could he reconcile the man who had been so cruel and cold with the one standing before him now, admitting to desires Thomas hadn’t even considered?

“I… I don’t know if I can give you what you want,” Thomas admitted, his voice raw. “I don’t know if I can ever see you as more than the man who took everything from me.”

Alexander’s face hardened for a moment, as though he was bracing himself for the blow, but then he sighed, the tension in his shoulders easing slightly. “I know. And I’m not asking for anything you’re not ready to give. But I need you to know that I won’t stop wanting you. I won’t stop hoping that, one day, you’ll see me as something more.”

Thomas felt like the ground beneath him was slipping away, leaving him standing on the edge of a precipice. Part of him wanted to run, to escape this overwhelming situation and go back to the simplicity of his life before all of this. But another part of him—a part he didn’t fully understand—wanted to stay. Wanted to explore this dangerous, complicated connection that was growing between them.

“I need time,” Thomas said, his voice barely above a whisper.

Alexander nodded, his eyes softening. “Take all the time you need. I’ll be here.”

The silence that followed was thick with unspoken words, and for a moment, they simply stood there, staring at each other, the weight of their shared history and their uncertain future hanging between them.

Finally, Thomas turned and walked toward the door, his heart pounding in his chest. But just before he stepped out, he paused, glancing over his shoulder at the king.

“Alexander,” he said quietly, “I don’t hate you as much as I used to.”

It wasn’t a declaration of love, or even forgiveness. But it was something. A small step forward in a journey that Thomas still wasn’t sure he was ready to take.

Alexander smiled, the first real smile Thomas had seen from him in a long time. “I’ll take that.”

With a nod, Thomas left the room, the door closing softly behind him.

As he walked through the palace halls, his thoughts were a tangled mess of emotions—fear, anger, confusion, and something else. Something that felt suspiciously like hope.

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