The Shadows that Devour the Light

..."At times, life becomes harsher than we can bear. We hide in the darkness, seeking oblivion in melodies that take us far away. But the true escape is found only within our hearts. Wherever we go, the past follows us."...

Memories flow through my mind like an unbroken stream. I close my eyes, but the images remain. Summer, 1999. It was the first time I met "Ryuji." The heat was unbearable, seeping into the skin like needles trying to pierce the soul. That day, the sun was setting, but there was no sense of peace with its disappearance. On the contrary, there was a negative energy suffocating everything, as if the sky itself was drowning in sorrow.

I entered school late that day. Ryuji was standing at the end of the hallway, blowing smoke from his cigarette and laughing loudly with a group of boys. I didn’t know what was going on, but I felt something cold creep inside me. I didn’t know him well, but his reputation preceded him. "Ryuji" was known by everyone as the boy you shouldn't approach.

..."In a life like this, you may find yourself lost in the rush of small details. Faces, voices, words you hear that mean nothing. But they all come together in the end, forming a weight that crushes your soul."...

In that moment, I remembered how I used to waste time at home in front of the TV, watching the same boring shows, listening to songs that made me feel even more empty. "Lily Chou Chou" was the only light in that dark world. Her music was something I clung to because it was the only thing that understood me. Her songs pulled me away from reality. Away from the pain.

By the summer of 2000, things started to fall apart quickly. Everything went from bad to worse. "Ryuji" began to dominate the school, and no one could stand in his way. At that time, I felt utterly alone. No one understood me. I was always the quiet boy who didn’t talk much, and I preferred staying out of trouble.

But I couldn’t run away forever. One day, I met "Yuka." She was an eccentric girl, always sitting alone in class, talking very little, but there was something in her eyes that made me curious. There was a deep sadness. Perhaps she felt what I felt, but I didn’t have the courage to get close to her.

..."There are people who pass through your life unnoticed until a moment comes when they push you to the edge. Then, you realize they were always there, silently watching."...

Yuka was different. She wasn’t like the other girls. She seemed to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders, yet she was calm, as if she had made peace with that pain. I started talking to her after a while. At first, the conversations were short and insignificant. But over time, things changed. I started seeing her every day after school in Yoyogi Park. Those were the only moments I felt like I could breathe. But even in that park, strange things happened.

..."Sometimes, you're closer to your true self when you're with others. But at the same time, you realize you're more alone than you thought."...

On a hot summer day, Yuka and I sat under a large tree in the park. She was holding an old book in her hands, looking as if she was lost in another world. I asked her about the book, and she slowly replied, looking away, "It’s about loss… about people who disappear without a trace." I felt that those words meant more than she was saying. She was talking about herself without saying it directly. There was something dark in her past, but I didn’t know what it was.

The summer passed quickly, as if time refused to wait for us. At the end of August, I decided to listen to one of "Lily Chou Chou's" albums in full, and I wanted to share it with Yuka. When I told her, she seemed happy for the first time since I knew her. We sat by the river, listening to songs that seemed to tell our story.

..."In the end, we are just fleeting notes in the song of life. Some of us are heard, and some of us fade away with the wind."...

Days passed, and I started to see Yuka change. She seemed quieter, but she also began to disappear more often. One day, she didn’t show up for our usual meeting in the park. I waited for hours, but she never came. I started to worry. When I got home, I tried calling her, but there was no answer. Days went by, and I searched for her everywhere, but to no avail.

In the end, I learned from one of my classmates that she had been admitted to the hospital after a failed suicide attempt.

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