Chapter 1

No

I won't look back

I'll never look back

I can feel the shadow even if he stands miles away from me cause his eyes...

His eyes are always on me

My skin tickle with goosebumps and hands shake as fear spread all over my soul

Intense eyes

He's watching me

And noticing me

Always

Not one time nor two

I said always

I remember how I used to wish experiencing something horror but it's not just horror

It's more than that

And please God save me this time

And every other time he's behind me

I've a habit of doing mistakes

And just like every time I did a mistake again

My feet rolled back as i finally meet the hooded figure of a nightmare

A heavy exhale left my mouth and the bag of my back felt heavy as I stare at the figure which was hidden in the dark

The moonlight helped me to see the shadow and by looking closely I realized

He's smiling

Not the sweet smile we gave while greeting

It's the scary one

As if he's going to hunt me any moment

My body shake

Save me

Please

I'm trapped

2024

Vanya:

"hey vanya aren't you coming with us?"

A sudden voice make me flinch out of my sleep and soon when I look at my right I realized it's none other than my unknown classmate Laura

Oh it's already off from school?

I push my self back and sit straight before my hands start to collect the already messed up books

"no,I'll go myself"

"who's even offering you a ride silly?"

I knew that

The gossip girls laugh down their nose at me as they throw their self at each other

I should leave...yeah

I stand and held my bag pack

Things have started to annoy me more than before

...even more...humans

I put the ear buds on and walk to the exit gate

The hallway was filled with shouts and bullying

Just like everytime I kept silent

The only thing I can do is look and pretend the other time it's regret and silence

Does teasing adds fun?

Maybe it's fun

I never knew what that even is

It's been 18 years of my life still I don't know what fun truly means

I can spell the word but don't know the meaning

Yeah I'm sick

It's a fever

Fever of my life and the people around me who thinks hurting is fun

Oh well,maybe it's fun

How do I know?

I exit the college and walked to the only place I know beside my broken house and the college

"Mr.dimitri is busy"

The policeman said

" let me in...i need to talk"

He look down at me,his eyes are grey

I hate grey

I hate colors

"he..himself said he's busy miss,you better go and come any other time,stop creating a drama in a police station"

His grey eyes turn into fury as I keep standing there,I'm not going anywhere until I got what I came for,the place is not less than chaos but I'm unfortunately obliged

If I leave maybe the hopes of coming here will die

"ask him again please"

He glare at me before he turn and went inside the office

I stare at the brown wooden door,waiting for it to open

I look around the place

Chaos

Oh God I hate chaos and noise

It reminds me of the nightmares that live in my head all the time

The black birds that surround my mind all of the time

It's too much

My hands reach for my ears-

"you can go inside"

I open my eyes to see the same man glaring at me while opening the door enough so I could go in

"thanks"

I almost whisper and went in

The red carpet press under my feet

Red and elegant

Unlike the creaking wood of my room's door

"dad..."

I look at the man who sat on a leather sofa in front of me

Green eyes stare at me

I've gotten the same

Look I mistake again

He's not a dad

...at least not for him

"sorry"

I whisper again

He leaned back and stare at me with his chin up as if I'm a dirt to the expensive gold batch he keep stick to his clean suit

Again..unlike my old dirty shirt

"what're you here for..again?"

I look down

"..i need money"

A chuckle echo in the room and it was from none other than my Fath-the great officer dimitri

I always have to cut myself

"you just came 2 days ago"

I nod

"but..the money wasn't enough...i had 2 meals in the past two days"

True

1 meal a day

For dinner are the fortunately left overs

He raised a brow at me

"you think I'm a feeder?"

I look up at him

He's someone I know but doesn't recognize

Or maybe used to know

"look little girl...I'm a rich man but not the kindest and I'm not here to waste my money for someone I hate"

My already broken heart finally escape the bandages and shatter

He's so cruel

I don't know who's going to tell him

"..this time"

I said,trying my best to not to crawl out of the room and burst down in tears

"I'll try to find a job again...this time they'll accept me..just...this time"

I've tried God knows how many time and always failed sometimes the place is wrong the other times it's my fault they say

As if running from the gang who tried to capture me in their bed

I was kicked out for telling the truth

Cause of course the owner thought it's a lie and I'm a whore

"take"

Soon the money was lying on the table

Oh guess what?

"you can have 4 meals for 4 days"

The back of my eyes burn

But look I'm used to it

After I grab the money I bow and went out

Earth is hell

Peoples are...

So much hell

My knees felt weak and I don't know for how long I can walk with falling

I stopped in between and look around

At the people crying

Some are old while others are child or adults

They've someone they love

Someone they're crying for

Someone who're here

With thinking I start to walk towards the hallway which was surrounded by jails

Here and there

Jails

And people were insides

Oh,criminals

They were shouting and crying others were silent

"vanya?"

I look behind me to see sam

Classmate in short

I hide the money in my pant's pocket

"hey.."

He frown,his eyes red and it does not take a genius to guess he was crying

Maybe he also has someone here

"what ya doing here?"

I shake my head

"uh-no nothing and you?"

He nods and look down

"my brother is here.."

"in jail?"

To not-my-surprise he nod

It was popular in our class that his brother has killed a girl who was once his girlfriend,since that the students never talked with him

"i was going up to see him..amm wanna come I might be a bit afraid alone you know psychos and...you know"

I nod

Soon we were walking up to the..killer section, it was a bit dangerous but still

I think I should give company to someone

This place is living in a past century

No much security

"here"

I look at the man who was stuck in the jail he come to Sam once he realized he's here

"s-sam"

He was crying while Sam was consoling and telling him to calm down that it's only a year or two

I don't know if the rumor is true or not but I pity him

A metal noise gain my attention and I look inside the cage besides Sam's brother ones

I gasp when my eyes find the tattooed man sitting on the floor

He looks like a mess

Messed up long hairs which reached his shoulders and a...very dangerously handsome face,he's scary

He played with the metal rob that roll back over to him

Muscles were covered with black ink and all over his bare chest

I don't know him but I can tell he has done something very very dangerous

He looked up and I catch my breath

His eyes were grey...and a sharp cut was marked on his left eye

He stared at me

Dangerous and scary

A wide and wild grin covered his mouth

Hell-

"let's go...bye Smith"

Sam said and I follow him not looking back

But when I did

I only felt a strange fear

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