PART 1

The first time I saw her, I thought she was beautiful yet lonely. Divine like the morning sun yet alone like the moons' shadow.

Day by day, she sat at the parks bench where I could see her on my way to school.

Then, I wondered who is she, and why she was always alone? She swung her legs in slow motion as she watched the grass with a sad gaze. I thought then, Haa, I want to be close to her, I want to talk to her and know what was bothering her.

My prayer was answered the day she walked into my class as the teacher told us to settle down and announced her as a new student I was overjoyed. She looked beautiful in her yellow sundress and blonde curly hair, which was left down as it cascaded down her waist. She easily drew in attention from all of us, yet she didn't seem to want it afraid of our stares, timid even.

I squinted at this and watched her find a seat next to Norman. He was a little friendly yet sometimes over the edge. He was the best seat partner at the moment as he seemed to start a conversation with her yet was quickly shut down.

I looked away as a teacher came in and started to discuss last week's class. It was going to be a long day, and I knew it.

.......

The first time I saw him was when I walked into my class and the teacher introduced me. His stare was innocent yet filled with curiosity and passion. I became uncomfortable under that gaze as the other students' stares didn't seem as piercing as his.

This is the first time I meet him, but not the first time I noticed him. He always walks by the park in the morning on his way to school and sometimes on the weekends. It was then I noticed him and he, me.

His staring began, then from the moment he noticed me and I him. but he never knew I noticed his stares.

His stares were at first inquisitive and curious, but then, it grew deeper, longer, and more passionate. Every time, I felt his gaze. It brought fear and expectations to me, shaking my core. Fear that I won't be able to talk to him and my father will realise this boy I keep glancing at.

Expectations that we would one day communicate or become friends. Which has been my life-long goal since my time in this world.

It's a cold world when you don't have people surrounding you. Craving that closure has always brought me fear. It makes me confused, but yet I want it. This is why I became excited when my father told me I will be attending this school. I swallowed down my joy as he stared at me with his black, cold, dead eyes.

I took a lot of willpower not to squirm under his gaze, trying to keep my emotions in check so he wouldn't notice. Cause to my father anything that brings me joy must be destroyed. No matter what it is, I am not allowed to be happy.

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