A bad Mother and an awful wife

"Madam!"     

Heaven jumped and her spread arms instantly folded to her chest. She turned her head at the door where she heard the panicked voice.     

There, at the entrance of her bedroom, was a middle-aged woman in a maid's uniform. The woman had an aghast expression, looking at her as if she had seen a ghost.     

"Young Madam! What are these pills scattered on the floor?!" yelled the woman while clasping her chest, as if she already had an idea what had happened.     

Her name was Miriam.     

Miriam, the middle-aged maid, hurriedly picked up the pills from the floor. Heaven rubbed her chin. Heaven kept her gaze on Miriam, rummaging through the memories the real Heaven left for her.     

Miriam was a maid serving the Zhu Family for decades. She had dedicated her life to the young master Dominic Zhu, Heaven's husband. Even now that Dominic had grown into a fine man and had a family of his own, she still served him. But now, Heaven and Dominic's son's nanny.     

According to Heaven's memories, Miriam was the only person who truly cared for her in this household. Not that Heaven was able to open up her heart to Miriam, but unlike everybody else, Heaven tolerated this nanny.     

"Madam! Are you trying to kill yourself again?" Heaven's thoughts halted when Miriam sat on the edge of the bed with mixed emotions plastered on Miriam's face. "What are these pills?"     

Heaven glanced down at Miriam's open palms and then cleared her throat.     

"Madam…" Miriam frowned, hiding the pills in the pocket of her apron. She then reached for Heaven's hands, squeezing them slightly. Her lips parted, but no words came out. She could only look at the young madam with worry.     

At this point, Miriam didn't know what to say anymore. She already tried her best, giving the young madam advice, and creating opportunities for her. But alas, Heaven just kept relapsing. Even though there were days Heaven would try out some hobbies, she would still succumb to her intrusive, negative thoughts.     

"Miriam." Heaven pressed her lips into a thin line.     

It was true Heaven attempted to kill herself last night, only to change her mind at the last second. However, death still came because an intruder strangled the original Heaven to death.     

How would she explain that without causing panic?     

Would they even believe her in the first place?     

Deep lines appeared between Heaven's brows as the original Heaven's demise sank into her. She woke up with the original's memory intact. Therefore, the soul inside the host already knew what real Heaven's life was like.    

It was hell.     

"Madam, don't you have an ounce of affection for the young master?" Heaven was pulled back to the current lapse at Miriam's inquiry. "I know you are unhappy, but the young master was having problems in school."     

Heaven slowly set her eyes back on Miriam. This was the first time this lady spoke such words because she knew Heaven didn't want this marriage, let alone 'that' child. For the original Heaven, Dominic Zhu was the man who took away everything from her.     

"Madam, I know I am stepping out of bounds, but please." Miriam squeezed Heaven's hand mildly, almost begging the latter. "Can you at least try?"     

Miriam braced herself for an unpleasant reaction from Heaven. Heaven's son and husband were almost like a taboo for her. No one could mention them if she was present; that was no secret for all the servants in the household.     

Mentioning their names would instantly put Heaven in a terrible mood. For Miriam to have such courage, the current Heaven was certain Miriam had enough. Or rather, Miriam was worried about something and was trying out a different approach this time.     

'I can't blame her. After all, this isn't the first time Heaven tried to kill herself.' Heaven mentally shrugged. 'Though this time, she died. Or rather, murdered.'     

"I know Madam didn't like the master and the young master, but the young master is still your child. The young master fought his classmate yesterday, which he doesn't usually do. I'm not blaming you, Madam, but a child still needs a mother's affection and guidance," Miriam continued her lecture with a deep sigh. "Now, the school sent a letter to Madam and Master to settle this matter. Madam, maybe if you try… you will learn how to love the young master and the master."     

'Huh… this woman…' Heaven mentally chuckled in amusement. '... she's probably ready to die for her to step out of her bounds.' — or maybe, Miriam was just fed up trying her best to push Heaven to open up to her husband and son.     

'Heaven… you are a terrible mother and an awful wife,' thought Heaven to herself. 'Though I understand where you are coming from, you shouldn't just blame your husband for your misery. Blame yourself for not trying, even just a tiny bit.'     

'Don't worry. I will cherish this life you didn't,' Heaven added inwardly, grabbing Miriam's hands this time.     

"Sure." Heaven smiled, catching Miriam off guard.     

"Su – sure?"     

"Mhm. Sure." Heaven nodded. "I'll try my best to fix this family instead of finding ways to kill myself."     

Miriam blinked, almost in disbelief at the reaction she didn't expect to receive.     

"Madam, you're saying…?"     

"I'm saying I'm done with deaths, dangers, and whatever I had dealt with in the past." Heaven let Miriam's hands go, combing her jet-black hair back. "And I'm very much willing to embrace the life I have now."     

Heaven winked. "In other words, prepare me breakfast while I doll myself. Didn't you say my son got into a fight? I'd like to see who hurt my baby."     

Miriam looked at the dazzling woman, who was smiling confidently at her. Ever since Heaven stepped foot in this household, Heaven was always gloomy. She liked keeping things to herself, enjoying her own company and solitude.     

This was the first time Miriam had seen Heaven with such vigor. But what was even more surprising was how Heaven called the young master her son. Heaven never once held her son or even acknowledged the young master's existence. Never.     

...ToS - ...

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