Prologue

I was told as a evil bastard. No one likes me. Not even my parents. They are too disgusted by me to even notice me as their child, not that I care. I was not used of having love in my life. Because I was raise like a one. Unloveable bastard. That’s who I am. But then, after all those treatment I gave to people who dared to cross upon me, she still smiles despite herself. Why? Why does she need to make things so difficult?

Why did she came into my hunted life at first place? Why did she even cared who I am? Where does she keep all her feelings that I have hurt intentionally? Will she ever realize that what ever happened between us right now cannot be lead to such a happy ending? I was bond to live in such a meaningless life. She can’t be in it. I will never allow it to happen even it means to let her go. It was for her own good.

So, I am a man with my words. Once I have decided, it will happen. It’s now or never.

So I pushed her out of her limit. I broke her heart telling her not to give a damn about my life anymore. I told her that I was using her as my own pleasure. I told her that there was never word of LOVE between us.

For the first time in my life, I wanted to cry. For what I have caused to make the beautiful face that I love so much to be stained with unshed tears. I lost at words. I know my hands wanted to pull her against me to hold her and tell her that what I have said earlier is not true. That I love her! But how could I? She deserves someone better. She better off without me, that’s the truth that I have to digest since I became self-pity with myself.

But then, will I ever have a chance at happiness?

The answer is no. My sole reason to live is not here with me and probably in the arms of another guy because of my foolish action. Why would I be mad about it since it was my wrong doing? I know from the start when she came into my life, I could never have her in my life even if I wanted to. That’s why I became the coldest and heartless man and be cruel towards her. Because I know deep down in my heart, if I gave my heart a chance to love and living a good life with her, at the end of our journey, she will eventually realize that she have made the worst decision in her life.

So I decided to wait. Wait until I have the chance to make amends with her even she choose another than me. Everything that makes her happy, will makes me happy too. Even if I have to let her marry someone else. And it’s how our journey began.

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