chapter 3

I realise the fine hairs on the back of my neck are standing up and it’s

not from the cold. I realise I’m in a dark street with nobody around besides

a man who makes me feel like a mouse in a trap.

I force a smile, gesture aimlessly at the road ahead. “My friend will be

along for me soon,” I lie. “She’s coming back, such a ditz.”

He laughs. “You just said she’d bailed. Make your mind up.”

“Figure of speech,” I lie again. “She’ll be back… anytime now…”

“Sure she will.” He takes a step towards me and I take a shuffle back.

“You can drop the lost little girl shit.”

“Sorry?” I keep my smile bright, even though my heart is thumping like

a bastard.

“How much for the works?” I feel his eyes on me, all over me. He takes

another step my way. “How much for a go on that cute little ass? Don’t be

shy now.”

“But I’m not…” I drop the cigarette. “I’m not a…” My eyes are wide,

but I still can’t see his. “My friend’s coming right now… she’s on her

way…”

He nudges the door behind him, and the stench of weed hits me. “Come

up, get warm. I’ve got weed, or stronger shit, whatever you want. You’d

like that, right? I bet you ain’t so fucking innocent as you look.” I can hear

his smirk in his voice.

I shake my head. “She’ll be here soon, and I’m really not… I shouldn’t

be here…”

“I bet you make a fucking fortune with that nice little girl shit.”

“I’m not playing…” I move away from him, but back into one of the

wheeled bins. Cardboard boxes fall to the floor and make me jump.

He laughs louder. “Come on, baby girl, don’t be such a fucking tease.”

His voice is leery, drunk. “Bet you sound real fucking nice when you’ve got

a nice hard cock in your snatch.”

My back is pressed tight against the bin, and he’s close, too close. His

breath is in my face. It stinks. He stinks. He smells musty and rank, like one

of mum’s old boyfriends… the window cleaner with the black tooth… the

one who slipped his hand between my legs when we were watching Disney

and never came over again…

“You want this… I want this…” His horrible laugh is right in my ear. I

feel his lips on me. “You’ve got me all worked up, baby girl… you owe me

for the smoke… you owe me now… what you gonna do about it?”

I look around, trying to catch sight of an exit, but there isn’t one. He’s

too close, too big, and even if I made a break for it, where would I go?

“Don’t…” I say. “Please…”

“Gonna warm you right up, make it feel real nice, if you’re a good girl.”

My chest feels tight, cold air hissing in my throat as I struggle to gulp it

in. My heart is racing, but I feel disconnected, as though I’m not here, as

though this is happening to someone else. I feel his breath on my neck, the

warmth of his fingers as they slip inside my cardigan. I feel like I should be

fighting, kicking and screaming and clawing at his face, but I’m so numb.

So scared.

His thumb brushes my nipple and it shocks like electric.

“Knew you fucking wanted it,” he grunts.

A strange sense of detachment washes over me, a sense of being sucked

into a pit, where there is nothing, where everything is easy, where I can hide

in the quiet place in my mind and pretend this is not me. It’s his tongue

against my ear that snaps me back to myself. It feels wet and hot.

“No,” I say, and my voice sounds stronger this time. I’m wriggling,

trying to bring my legs up, squirming away from his mouth.

“Chill the fuck out,” he hisses, and my heart pounds in my ears.

The rumble of cars at the top of the street spurs me on, and I lash out,

catch him hard across the face. He swears and stumbles, touching his cheek

for just long enough for me to kick out and make a run for it.

“HEY!” he calls. “GET THE FUCK BACK HERE!”

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