Tangled: (4) Valentine's Together
8 days - Flynnie
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Flynnie
📱 2 Pete:
I am only sending you one msg a day because I am trying to balance giving you space and time with reminding you how much I love you.
So, this message is going to be a long one...
Sasha visited us this morning. She said she had your permission to tell me the details of some things that make you feel unsafe.
She said that you don't talk about them because thinking about them hurts you and causes you to relapse.
Initially, I didn't want to do it without confirming that you had actually given permission.
Eventually, Sasha showed me the message from you to confirm you had given permission.
Tara and Dad also agreed with You and Sasha that telling me these details will make it easier for me to understand and help you.
Tara said that if I learn what and why certain things trigger you I won't do them in the future.
Dad also mentioned that if I insist on waiting for you to tell me when you are ready to talk about it again, That will cause you totally unnecessary pain because you trust Sasha and Tara to tell what I need to know. And there is a greater risk of me (or someone else) doing it and if I haven't been told then I won't know why it's the wrong behavior for you.
It is very brave of you to let them tell me something so private and painful...
I feel special because even after hurting you you are still letting me into your world...
It encourages me to keep hoping for the miracle that you are trusting me again.
Thank-you for trusting me again...
Thank-you for giving me this chance to learn.
Thank-you for thinking I am worthy of learning these details that cause you so much pain.
Because of this step I will be able to help you better because I can definitely understand you better.
I know what I did that hurt you...
I'm sorry that I have learned too late that you needed protection from this.
I'm sorry I failed to be your safe person 😔
I really truly just didn't know....
If I had known before, of course I would have done it differently.
I promise you that now that I am more informed I can make better decisions that will hopefully help us rebuild your trust and faith in me.
Please give me, and us more chances...
If you are fragile and I am ignorant we might need 1000+ more chances - but we can make that ok because it suits "Us"
I want to see you…
But I don't think I deserve to anymore if you don't want to see me.
I want to hold your hand.
I want to feel your fingers tangling with mine.
But I won't insist if you think we shouldn't.
I want to lie next to you and hug you until you feel safe beside me again...
But it seems it is perhaps too late for that.
And the most important daily reminders that used to earn me the sweetest giggle, adorable snuggles and your always beautiful smile;
I love you more than you love me.
And I know how much you love me...
The thought that I might lose you again... I don't even want to breathe anymore when I have to think it.
I will never give up waiting for you. (I have over a decade of practice waiting for you.😂)
My last reminder for today - I am sorry. I hope one day you can forgive me and give me another chance.
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