The day we met...

Sitting on that same plastic chair available in that room, I couldn't stop thinking about how his curly hairs would bounce each time he bowed to write. He looked so focused on his work... I knew I had to follow and submit my classwork,, but his eyes were as deep as the Pacific Ocean… They were brown however and even if I'm not a big fan of food, I couldn't help but think about brownies.

I cannot tell when did the class end,, but I couldn't care less. All I was thinking about was those silky hairs and those eyes. The same ones I would dive into, each time I took a glimpse of him.

That night I fell asleep thinking about him. Wasting my time thinking about someone who probably didn't know I exist. What a great way to spend your time right?

Anyway, now that I think about it all, I wish nothing else. Of course, I would have preferred if things turned otherwise,, but I guess at some point, you don't always get to choose, and I couldn't change the truth….

...….................

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We met in tuition. That same class I was talking about earlier. He is one year older.

His name?

Hmm... let's put it smile... it's kinda similar with his real name lol...

He is good-looking.

It may sound pretentious but all my exes were pretty fine lol.

To sum up things:

He wasn't tall… AT ALL.

I was taller

He looked cute. He would act all badass in front of others but with me he was being all lovey dovey.

I must admit, he is good at acting.

I wonder how many hearts he already had broken and how many he cracked after mine.

His damn hair. They were heavenly. I still feel them between my fingers.

Let's forget about his looks and focus on his words.

I was naive and lacked attention. After having been left unattended for so many years I was craving for something and someone like his.

Well…. Little did I know that this bed of roses he'd made for me, this damn illusion, this deadly trap I'd fallen into would slowly but surely kill me so deep that I would end up regretting my whole existence.

Now let me talk about something else

My life was kind of messed up

A LOT

I made mistakes but didn't learn from them.

This time I'll make sure I do. TBH I hate this concept we, humans have of always trying to survive...

Why do we need to make so much effort?

Happiness can be acquired through small things... Why search for more? Take me to how it was before. I'm convinced I would have been happier. Anyways I'm trying my best but honestly what is 'best'?

Can I attain what they want me to attain?

Will I fail?

I can't tell yet...

Are you fine?

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