Can't Fall in Love

“If you’re worried if you’ll look like me, don't be because you won’t. I only look old because I was already old when I became a shadow lurker. But you’ll maintain your youthful appearance because it’s the face when you became a vampire. You’ll just have to constantly feed on human flesh. It’s the price you’ll be paying for asking this.”

“What? I asked for this?” I put the mirror down and looked at him.

“Yes. While you’re hanging by the cross, you prayed to anyone with power to hear your plea. That you wished to be born again if you ever die from the punishment. You don’t remember?” His eyes narrowed as he stared at me with his rheumatic eyes. “It’s early for you to forget your human life. It usually takes hundreds if not a thousand years to forget the memories. But maybe you really have a miserable life because you choose to forget them easily way too early.”

I couldn’t answer him. I didn’t forget anything since I’m not the right person to remember them after all. Ivano was a vampire? Was this real? Or was this one of my bizarre dreams again? What was I supposed to do? Wake up! I have to wake up because there are no such things as vampires and immortality. I’m just dreaming. I must’ve fallen asleep again.

“You’re having an inner battle, I can say.” The old man snatched me from my silent contemplation.

“I’m considering this to be just a mere dream. How will I wake up from this nightmare?”

“You think this is a nightmare?” His brow rose in amusement. “You are the nightmare, Lombardi. You and your bite.”

“You mean, I get to bite people and turn them into vamps like what you did to me?”

“You don’t get to turn people into like us out from a mere bite. You will have to suck their blood until they’re almost dead and revive them with your black blood so they’ll become a vampire. That if he survives the loss of blood. But a simple bite is just to feed our hunger. We’re insatiable actually but you’ll have to make do with little sips from time to time. This is what you want, after all, isn’t it?”

“I… I don’t know.”

Why would Ino want to live again after he died? Was he perhaps after revenge? Did he want to pursue Katherine? But they both died at the same time. It’d make his purpose useless.

“Is there a counterattack or some potion, anything, just to become not a vampire anymore?”

His brows rose, his head jerked away before his eyes narrowed at me. “Don’t be ridiculous! Why else did you desire to be undead when you only want to take back your wishes?”

“But is there any?” I asked frantically. “What if I grow tired of this? Wait, you said, this will be your last night to live. Where are you going? I thought we’re immortals? Are you going to die?”

“I have given you my ability. It’s called a transfusion. When sunrise comes, I’ll vanish and you’ll get into a deep slumber while your body takes in the new power I just gave you. Just make sure you sleep in a room unseen by the direct sunlight. Once the new moon passed, you’ll wake up and won’t be needing to rest anymore. But you can still pretend to sleep anyway.”

“What… What am I gonna do with those times being awake?” Why the hell did Ivano want to be living such a miserable existence?

“I don’t know why exactly you wished to be undead, Lombardi. Try to ask that yourself.”

“How does transfusion being done?”

“It won’t be called that without blood being transferred. So of course, I gave you almost all of my blood.” He paused when I made a choking sound. “Don’t act like you’re disgusted! Entities like us are the disgusting ones! Because of our greed, we have to sell our souls just to be immortals but then regretting it afterward because life, after all, isn’t really that exciting to live with without pain, love, and excitement.”

“I don’t get to fall in love?” I didn’t like the knowledge of that one bit.

“You’re undead, Lombardi. You may have black blood in your veins but you definitely have no heart thumping beneath your chest. There’s no science involved in being a vampire. So, yes, you definitely won’t feel emotions. You don’t get to fall in love.”

“So uh…” Why did I suddenly feel disappointed that Ivano as a vampire wouldn’t get to fall for me? “About being not a vampire anymore, you’re telling me you’re quitting now?”

“I’ve lived for so long. I thought living a lasting life will gain me wealth, fulfillment, and greatness. But it only gave me despair, limitations, and lonely life.”

“Wow.” He frowned at my odd response so I straightened my spine and further explained myself. “I thought you have all the powers to be living like a god, why did you say you’re in despair. And limitations? How so? Well, I understand why you said, you’re lonely.”

“I can’t step out of the light, both of us can’t. That’s the limitation. Despair because I longed to feel again but I just can’t. There’s the interest to be emotionally involved with someone but I can’t feel anymore. And that made me lonely.”

“Do you have the ability to enter someone else’s dreams?”

“We can smell human emotions and hypnotize and control their minds. But no, we can’t manipulate them to sleep nor get into their dreams.”

“Can you…” I licked my lips, uncertain of how to ask my next question. “Can you undo the past?”

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