Sahara felt that her entire body ached; she still sensed his caresses lingering on her skin, remembering every kiss he left on her, not just on her mouth but all over her body. Her chest throbbed from the bites he had planted there, feeling so irritated and sore that even the water felt uncomfortable against the small cuts she had. Her intimacy felt strange, pulsing and irritated, painful; but in truth, it wasn’t her violated body that pained her, nor was it what made her feel ill, what brought tears streaming down her face. It was the fact that she had surrendered to a man she did not love, to a complete stranger, as if her body were a mere bargaining chip. She felt devastated, as if she had lost something incredibly important in her life, as if that man had stolen her soul, leaving behind an empty vessel.
The moment she was alone, she began to cry, allowing her tears to flow, letting the pain she felt emerge. She covered her mouth to stifle any sound while she wept, struggling to remain quiet and control her breathing; but it was impossible. The bathroom filled with her muffled cries of sorrow and pain, her choked sobs. In that same agony, she bit her lip again, causing the wound she had inflicted to reopen and start bleeding; through her tears, she watched the drops of blood fall into the water, and then felt that metallic taste in her mouth. For a moment, she drifted off, unsure of how to react, that pain in her lip making her feel slightly better, as if it were a punishment for her actions.
Sahara shifted from sadness to rage, beginning to scrub her body vigorously in an effort to erase those kisses, those caresses that made her feel dirty, unworthy, and unwilling to continue feeling that way on her skin. She scrubbed so hard that some parts of her skin became badly injured, drawing a bit of blood. She started to curse him, reproaching herself for what she had done, then cursing her little sister and her family for allowing her to go through something like this. She felt fury, anger, resentment, rage, indignation, and above all, a lot of bitterness for having accepted that deal where she was the only one who lost, left with an emptiness, a pain in her chest that she didn’t know how to soothe.
After the anger subsided, she entered a void where nothing mattered. What had happened was no longer important; it had only been her body and her life had to go on. She tried to encourage herself, repeating “it doesn’t matter, this is nothing, everything is fine.” She tried to calm down, yet still cried for a long time, inconsolable and alone in that vast bathroom.
An hour and a half later, she emerged from the bathtub, feeling that her body had regained some strength. That was a relief; she wouldn't have to be in that man's arms again. She walked over to the large mirror and when she looked at herself, she was shocked. Her entire body was marked with him, with kisses from her neck down to her legs, but they weren’t just his kisses; they were also his grips, his hands imprinted all over her body.
She stared at the large bruises, which only made her feel worse than she already did. But among all those bruises, only one hurt her, and it was the one on her arm, the last grip he had given her when he woke her up. She sighed deeply and shook her head side to side, attempting to dispel the dark thoughts that entered her mind. She grabbed her bathrobe and then turned halfway to leave the room, wanting to stop looking in the mirror that only heightened her shame.
As she opened the door, she saw Penny, who was organizing clothes on the bed, looking around the room anxiously for Nil. She felt relief upon seeing that he was no longer there. Unsure, she approached Penny, and in that moment, Penny turned around, looked her in the eyes, and spoke to her in a calm voice.
• Miss Sahara, good morning, allow me to introduce myself, my name is Penny, I am the right hand of the master, and whatever you need, you can ask me; miss, Master Nil feels very bad about what happened, if he had known, he would have never touched you. I know that at this moment you must be upset with him, and you may even hate him; but please don’t, it will only hurt you. Just try to forget what happened, don’t hurt yourself more with this.
I can assure you that Master Nil is a gentleman and will never speak of what happened here. If you ever encounter him again, treat him with the appropriate respect; miss, do not fill yourself with hatred because that will do you a lot of harm, and you will only end up hurting yourself.
Sahara looked at the clothes on the bed, feeling relieved to see it was a long-sleeved shirt, loose pants, and simple underwear, nothing special; she took the clothes and, with a subdued voice, said.
• I know very well that it was an agreement and he didn’t force me at all, it was my decision, to save my little sister; Miss Penny, you don’t have to worry, I don’t feel hate, those were my own choices, and it’s in the past now. Please tell your master that he has nothing to worry about; I will never speak of what happened here, and his public image will be safe at least from my end; miss, if it’s not too much to ask, could you please leave me alone? He said the room would be mine all day, until tomorrow, and right now I wish to be alone.
Penny looked at her, feeling her deep sadness, and that sight made her feel pity for her; for a moment she thought of refusing to leave; she approached her and hugged her tightly, with a sad voice she said.
• Miss Sahara, if you want to cry, then do it, but make sure it’s only today. Tomorrow, when you leave this room, hold your head high, you are a good woman; both Nil and I know that you didn’t deserve this, which is why we will be here for you. You can reach out to us if you ever need anything.
• Please let me go, I will be fine. If you are worried I might take my life, you need to stop, because I won’t do it. I believe in God, and suicide is one of the greatest sins; please just leave me alone, that’s all I want right now, and tell your master not to worry, I won’t bother him again, just fulfill the agreement.
• Oh Sahara, it’s sad to hear you speak this way, but it’s fine, I will convey your message to Nil. Try to eat and take care of yourself; but I will give you this card, it’s my number, in case you ever need something, just call me.
Sahara stepped back from her, lowering her head; she didn’t want Penny to see how upset she was, and she knew that if she looked her in the face, she would unleash all the fury she had inside for falling into such an absurd trap. So she looked at the ground and with an insecure, trembling voice said.
• No more, please, just leave me alone, it’s over and I don’t think any words will console me or change what happened.
Penny understood what she meant and simply turned around, heading for the door, and before leaving she said.
• Sahara, try to move on with a good life, it’s no use to bitter yourself just because of this; I left my card on the bed, whether you use it or not, keep it, just in case.
When Sahara was alone, she collapsed to the floor and began to cry; she wished so much that she could say this was just a dream, a very bad dream, a nightmare; but it was not and she had to muster strength from somewhere, she couldn’t let something like this happen again. After a long while of crying, she stood up, put on the underwear, then the pants, and finally the shirt. Once she was changed, she lay down on the bed, trying not to think anymore; perhaps it was exhaustion, pain, sadness, or simply depression, but without meaning to, she gradually fell asleep.
At 2 PM, a loud knock on the door awakened her. She got up, disoriented; for a moment, she had forgotten where she was, until her mind regained its clarity. Someone was knocking on the door—rapid, insistent bangs, and feeling a bit unsure, she went to open it. As she opened the door, she saw one of the hotel workers with a cart, delivering food; the man said to her.
• Miss, they sent this food for you and told me to inform you that it would be better not to refuse it, because he was coming to make sure you ate; he also indicated that I should ask you about dinner, as it would be better if you decided before he bothered you more.
She let him in, and before he left, she said to him.
• For dinner, I only want a glass of milk and cookies. If that man asks, just tell him I'm not used to having anything heavy for dinner.
After saying that, the man left the room, leaving her alone. Without feeling hungry, she sat down to eat; they had sent her chopped fruit, a fine cut of meat with spices, cold soup, salad, sauteed vegetables, and natural fruit juice. She felt annoyed; it was quite a lot of food just for her, but grudgingly she had to eat since she didn't want to see him again.
She ate a little of everything and then lay back down. At times she slept, at times she cried, and sometimes she cursed him or cursed herself; her emotions swung from positive to negative, her mind was a chaos, and she really didn't know what was going to happen, didn't know what she should do. So she decided to spend the entire day in that room, to know nothing of anyone and to regain her composure.
At 8 PM, the hotel worker brought her dinner and collected the remains of the lunch. She barely drank half a glass of milk and had one of the cookies; the whole night she slept, rested, and at 6 AM she woke up. She got out of bed, slipped on some sneakers that had been brought with her clothes, brushed her hair, and let it fall loose. Before leaving, looking around the room, she noticed the beautiful necklace her sister had given her. Annoyed, she left it on the nightstand beside the bed, with a note that read, "Whoever finds it can keep it." She turned around and just as she passed the bed, she saw the card Penny had left on the floor.
Sahara stared at it for a moment, hesitant to pick it up, but after thinking it over, she decided to take it, slipping it into the pocket of her pants, and without another thought, she left the room. She didn't look around, just walked straight to the elevator, standing in a corner with her head down, her hair covering her face. She felt embarrassed even to be going out; she didn't want anyone to recognize her and was grateful to have woken up early, an hour when most people were still asleep. She was right; it was a quiet time, and only a few guests were awake. The reception area was almost empty as she exited the hotel, caught a taxi, gave the driver her home address, and settled back in the seat.
She thought about how she would confront her sister because she couldn't allow something like this to happen again, and she didn't care if it would mean the end of their relationship. The ride felt long, even though it only took 25 minutes. Upon arrival, she said to the taxi driver.
• Sir, could you wait for me a moment while I go get the money to pay you?
• Don't worry, miss, someone already paid; I’ve been waiting here for you since yesterday. A woman paid me well to wait for you and told me to wish you luck and also to give you this white flower.
Sahara was surprised to see the beautiful white flower; it was large and very lovely. Hesitantly, she took it. For a moment, she thought about refusing it, about shouting some insults, but then realized that the man was not at fault. In the end, she thanked him and got out of the taxi, walked into her house, and headed directly to her sister's room. Standing in front of the bed, she looked at her deeply sleeping sister and angrily grabbed her arm, waking her with fierce determination, and said.
• You, how could you dare? You sold me to that man for money, for a work agreement; Carola, I am your sister, what you did to me is horrible.
• Sahara, stop being so dramatic; you should be thanking me. I found you a handsome man and besides, you helped the family; I did the right thing and you should be grateful, or tell me, didn’t you have a good time? I think you did because you came back late, surely you rolled around with him all day yesterday.
• How dare you speak to me this way? I will not forgive you.
At that moment, Sahara raises her hand to slap her, but just then, her brother grabs her hand and she hears their mother say,
• Sahara, have you gone mad? How dare you try to hit your younger sister and create this scandal?
• Mother, you don’t know what she did to me, and honestly, I can’t forgive her; you should support me; she deserves a strong reprimand from you, to be educated better.
• I know very well what our sister did and I completely agree with her. From my point of view, our little sister has been very conscious and has thought about the well-being of this family; you are the one who has been wrong, you didn’t do your job right. You know we only have the contract halfway; it’s only for one runway, so you go back to him and beg for the full contract, as well as for the financial compensation, which we desperately need.
Sahara stared at her mother, who approached her sister, hugging her, comforting her because she complained about her arm, where she had grabbed her; but she was in shock, not knowing if what she heard from her mother was true. She couldn't believe it, she couldn't understand it. Why was her mother accepting something like this? It had to be a damn joke; her family couldn't be trading her for money, it couldn't be true, it was a lie, she screamed in her thoughts.
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