Under The Greenlight

Past is Past

MATHEW'S POV:

It has been 3 years since Jin passed away, ever since that incident happened.. I... I didn't want to love. want Jin to be my first and last.

FLASHBACK:

"Potato... It was you all along..." Jin said with the voice he had left... It was quiet. As he told me that potato thing. Only one thing came out of my mind. It was that Hyung, the Hyung that has been with me when I was still a kid. A hyung who protected me and took care of me.

As I remembered all of it. I snapped out of reality. I cried knowing that Jin is gone, I cried as loud as I can, saying not to leave me.. It hurts.

I really wanted to call an ambulance that time, but a whole gang came and chased me. Even if I wanted to carry Jin and run away, I know what he will say "Run away you bastard. Leave me alone in here" It was Jin after all.

I ran away fast as I could. Until I found the basement I've been doing my sculpting.

I got inside, I saw a lot of sketches I had drawn... All of it.. Was Jin.. I cried and cried. "Jin!!! come back!!... please don't leave me... I.. want you here... beside me... so... co-comeback...." I begged and I begged. But I know nothing will happen even if i cried and beg.

I took my sketchbook. I tried imagining Jin with his laughing face. I sketched him, my tears would not even stop falling..

It was hard. It is hard to have someone you liked getting killed in front of you.

I couldn't sleep for nights, All I've been wanting is to see him. I want to touch him, take a look at him, just a gaze, just a hug. But it can't be possible.

I tried moving on, but it only brings me pain.

I came to school, "Hey Matthew! what happened to you? you look terrible! did you even get some rest?" says the sunbae I had. I only nodded, I can't even speak.

A lot of days has passed, myself really got terrible. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't even talk to someone properly. It feels like the old me is back.

I can't study properly, maybe because i can't get him out of my head. I needed to move on...

After that day, I tried searching on how to move on, on someone.

Day by day I started moving on.

The first day I tried reading some books.

The second, I kept on sketching.

The third day, I sculpted.

I tried some different kind of methods. I thought would work.

Slowly the time passes I moved on little by little.

All of it became useful, I moved.

THE PRESENT:

Here I am now. I graduated. All I needed is to find a job to keep living, and persue my dreams.

To be Continued...