The day it all changed

I may just be the funny friend, without the beautiful looks like my friends but a personality that makes me shine brighter than any star, at least that's what my mom says. Truly I hate myself... I always say I'm fine or I'm tired when anyone asks me if I'm okay but deep inside I know I'll never be okay. I just want to be like those girls in class that I hate while knowing I'm just jealous and could never hate them. I mean just look at them they look like goddesses while I'm a no-good side character. I mean I don't even know my favorite color or what I'm good at, I will never be someone like them.  As I wrote this in my diary, I sat there for a moment in complete silence daydreaming of everyone I would rather be then myself. I can name at least a hundred people. I looked out my window as tears hit my lap leaving a wet mark on my shorts. I noticed a shooting star and with all dignity and hope lost I wished on it, I wished to look like a superstar, to have the life of one. Though this was completely different from me I still had hope in it. I thought about how stupid I probably looked but I still wished whole heartedly. I went to sleep that night hoping that maybe just maybe I'll wake up and be someone else. I'm now twenty writing this, and this would probably be the best and worst day of my life. I wish my teenage self could have seen the light in her wasn't her personality, but her herself. If this was what made me realize that, I wouldn't be shocked. I woke up that day feeling more refreshed than ever, but it was probably because how tired I was from staying up so late every night. I looked around and I WAS IN A DIFFERENT ROOM! I ran to the bathroom attached to the room I was in and looked in the mirror and I LOOKED BEAUTIFUL! Someone walked into my room and asked if I was ready for breakfast, and I turned around to see A MAID. I HAD A MAID! she was beautiful too. I don't think I have ever smiled so much. I sat down at the huge table and there was so much food. There was even a full family at the table. I don't know when the last time was when I ate at the dinner table with my family, but I really did miss it. They were all talking about my career and how proud of me they were. It's like it was everything I had ever wanted came true. I was so happy but sadly that happiness wouldn't last forever. I checked my phone and looked me up super excited to see what I did and, the hate was insane. though I didn't know who this person was, and I knew it wasn't really me. All the words still hurt, like blades cutting into me. I had to get moving though so there was no time for sadness because I HAD A MEET AND GREET TO GO TO. I get there and see all these beautiful people all cheering for me and saying hi and how much they love me. though it wasn't me it made me feel loved for once. There was a cute little girl who came up to me, she reminded me of myself. She then told me how one day when she grows up, she wants to be just like me. I told her she can be anything but to never forget who she is and will always be. If only I could say that to myself. She then smiled at me and told me something I could never forget. "The person who you are in the body of isn't you, the person inside is who you really are". I wish I could tell her that if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have found myself but, she wasn't real just like me...

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