chapter 3

THE next morning when the Otis family met at breakfast, they discussed the ghost at some

length. The United States Minister was naturally a little annoyed to find that his present had

not been accepted. "I have no wish," he said, "to do the ghost any personal injury, and I must

say that, considering the length of time he has been in the house, I don't think it is at all polite

to throw pillows at him" -- a very just remark, at which, I am sorry to say, the twins burst into

shouts of laughter. "Upon the other hand," he continued, "if he really declines to use the

Rising Sun Lubricator, we shall have to take his chains from him. It would be quite

impossible to sleep, with such a noise going on outside the bedrooms."

For the rest of the week, however, they were undisturbed, the only thing that excited any

attention being the continual renewal of the blood-stain on the library floor. This certainly was

very strange, as the door was always locked at night by Mr. Otis, and the windows kept

closely barred. The chameleon-like colour, also, of the stain excited a good deal of comment.

Some mornings it was a dull (almost Indian) red, then it would be vermilion, then a rich

purple, and once when they came down for family prayers, according to the simple rites of the

Free American Reformed Episcopalian Church, they found it a bright emerald-green. These

kaleidoscopic changes naturally amused the party very much, and bets on the subject were

freely made every evening. The only person who did not enter into the joke was little

Virginia, who, for some unexplained reason, was always a good deal distressed at the sight of

the blood-stain, and very nearly cried the morning it was emerald-green. The second

appearance of the ghost was on Sunday night. Shortly after they had gone to bed they were

suddenly alarmed by a fearful crash in the hall. Rushing downstairs, they found that a large

suit of old armour had become detached from its stand, and had fallen on the stone floor,

while, seated in a high-backed chair, was the Canterville ghost, rubbing his knees with an

expression of acute agony on his face. The twins, having brought their peashooters with them,

at once discharged two pellets on him, With that accuracy of aim which can only be attained

by long and careful practice on a writing-master, while the United States Minister covered him with his revolver, and called upon him, in accordance with Californian etiquette, to hold

up his hands! The ghost started up with a wild shriek of rage, and swept through them like a

mist, extinguishing Washington Otis's candle as he passed, and so leaving them all in total

darkness. On reaching the top of the staircase he recovered himself and determined to give his

celebrated peal of demoniac laughter. This he had on more than one occasion found extremely

useful. It was said to have turned Lord Raker's wig grey in a single night, and had certainly

made three of Lady Canterville's French governesses give warning before their month was up.

He accordingly laughed his most horrible laugh, till the old vaulted roof rang and rang again,

but hardly had the fearful echo died away when a door opened, and Mrs. Otis came out in a

light blue dressing-gown.

"I am afraid you are far from well," she said, "and have brought you a bottle of Dr. Dobell's

tincture. If it is indigestion, you will find it a most excellent remedy." The ghost glared at her

in fury, and began at once to make preparations for turning himself into a large black dog, an

accomplishment for which he was justly renowned, and to which the family doctor always

attributed the permanent idiocy of Lord Canterville's uncle, the Hon. Thomas Horton. The

sound of approaching footsteps, however, made him hesitate in his fell purpose, so he

contented himself with becoming faintly phosphorescent, and vanished with a deep church-

yard groan, just as the twins had come up to him.

On reaching his room he entirely broke down, and became a prey to the most violent

agitation. The vulgarity of the twins, and the gross materialism of Mrs. Otis, were naturally

extremely annoying, but what really distressed him most was, that he had been unable to wear

the suit of mail. He had hoped that even modern Americans would be thrilled by the sight of a

Spectre In Armour, if for no more sensible reason, at least out of respect for their national

poet Longfellow, over whose graceful and attractive poetry he himself had whiled away many

a weary hour when the Cantervilles were up in town. Besides, it was his own suit. He had

worn it with success at the Kenilworth tournament, and had been highly complimented on it

by no less a person than the ****** Queen herself. Yet when he had put it on, he had been

completely overpowered by the weight of the huge breastplate and steel casque, and had

fallen heavily on the stone pavement, barking both his knees severely, and bruising the

knuckles of his right hand.

For some days after this he was extremely ill, and hardly stirred out of his room at all, except

to keep the blood-stain in proper repair. However, by taking great care of himself he

recovered, and resolved to make a third attempt to frighten the United States Minister and his

family. He selected Friday, the 17th of August, for his appearance, and spent most of that day

in looking over his wardrobe, ultimately deciding in favour of a large slouched hat with a red

feather, a winding-sheet frilled at the wrists and neck, and a rusty dagger. Towards evening a

violent storm of rain came on, and the wind was so high that all the windows and doors in the

old house shook and rattled. In fact, it was just such weather as he loved. His plan of action

was this. He was to make his way quietly to Washington Otis's room, gibber at him from the

foot of the bed, and stab himself three times in the throat to the sound of slow music. He bore

Washington a special grudge, being quite aware that it was he who was in the habit of

removing the famous Canterville blood-stain, by means of Pinkerton's Paragon Detergent.

Having reduced the reckless and foolhardy youth to a condition of abject terror, he was then

to proceed to the room occupied by the United States Minister and his wife, and there to place

a clammy hand on Mrs. Otis's forehead, while he hissed into her trembling husband's ear the

awful secrets of the charnel-house. With regard to little Virginia, he had not quite made up his

mind. She had never insulted him in any way, and was pretty and gentle. A few hollow groans from the wardrobe, he thought, would be more than sufficient, or, if that failed to wake her, he

might grabble at the counterpane with palsy-twitching fingers. As for the twins, he was quite

determined to teach them a lesson. The first thing to be done was, of course, to sit upon their

chests, so as to produce the stifling sensation of nightmare. Then, as their beds were quite

close to each other, to stand between them in the form of a green, icy-cold corpse, till they

became paralyzed with fear, and finally, to throw off the winding-sheet, and crawl round the

room, with white bleached bones and one rolling eyeball, in the character of "Dumb Daniel,

or the Suicide's Skeleton," a role in which he had on more than one occasion produced a great

effect, and which he considered quite equal to his famous part of "Martin the Maniac, or the

Masked Mystery."

At half past ten he heard the family going to bed. For some time he was disturbed by wild

shrieks of laughter from the twins, who, with the lighthearted gaiety of schoolboys, were

evidently amusing themselves before they retired to rest, but at a quarter-past eleven all was

still, and, as midnight sounded, he sallied forth. The owl beat against the window panes, the

raven croaked from the old yew-tree, and the wind wandered moaning round the house like a

lost soul; but the Otis family slept unconscious of their doom, and high above the rain and

storm he could hear the steady snoring of the Minister for the United States. He stepped

stealthily out of the wainscoting, with an evil smile on his cruel, wrinkled mouth, and the

moon hid her face in a cloud as he stole past the great oriel window, where his own arms and

those of his murdered wife were blazoned in azure and gold. On and on he glided, like an evil

shadow, the very darkness seeming to loathe him as he passed. Once he thought he heard

something call, and stopped; but it was only the baying of a dog from the Red Farm, and he

went on, muttering strange sixteenth-century curses, and ever and anon brandishing the rusty

dagger in the midnight air. Finally he reached the corner of the passage that led to luckless

Washington's room. For a moment he paused there, the wind blowing his long grey locks

about his head, and twisting into grotesque and fantastic folds the nameless horror of the dead

man's shroud. Then the clock struck the quarter, and he felt the time was come. He chuckled

to himself and turned the corner; but no sooner had he done so, than, with a piteous wail of

terror, he fell back, and hid his blanched face in his long, bony hands. Right in front of him

was standing a horrible spectre, motionless as a carven image, and monstrous as a madman's

dream! Its head was bald and burnished; its face round, and fat, and white; and hideous

laughter seemed to have writhed its features into an eternal grin. From the eyes streamed rays

of scarlet light, the mouth was a wide well of fire, and a hideous garment, like to his own,

swathed with its silent snows the Titan form. On its ****** was a placard with strange writing

in antique characters, some scroll of shame it seemed, some record of wild sins, some awful

calendar of crime, and, with its right hand, it bore aloft a fashion of gleaming steel.

Never having seen a ghost before, he naturally was terribly frightened, and, after a second

hasty glance at the awful phantom, he fled back to his room, tripping up in his long winding-

sheet as he sped down the corridor, and finally dropping the rusty dagger into the Minister's

jack-boots, where it was found in the morning by the butler. Once in the privacy of his own

apartment, he flung himself down on a small pallet-bed and hid his face under the clothes.

After a time, however, the brave old Canterville spirit asserted itself and he determined to go

and speak to the other ghost as soon as it was daylight. Accordingly, just as the dawn was

touching the hills with silver, he returned towards the spot where he had first laid eyes on the

grisly phantom, feeling that, after all, two ghosts were better than one, and that, by the aid of

his new friend, he might safely grapple with the twins. On reaching the spot, however, a

terrible sight met his gaze. Something had evidently happened to the spectre, for the light had

entirely faded from its hollow eyes, the gleaming falchion had fallen from its hand, and it was leaning up against the wall in a strained and uncomfortable attitude. He rushed forward and

seized it in his arms, when, to his horror, the head slipped off and rolled on the floor, the body

assumed a recumbent posture, and he found himself clasping a white dimity bed-curtain, with

a sweeping-brush, a kitchen cleaver, and a hollow turnip lying at his feet! Unable to

understand this curious transformation, he clutched the placard with feverish haste, and there,

in the grey morning light, he read these fearful words:

The whole thing flashed across him. He had been tricked, foiled, and outwitted! The old

Canterville look came into his eyes; he ground his toothless gums together; and, raising his

withered hands high above his head, swore, according to the picturesque phraseology of the

antique school, that when Chanticleer had sounded twice his merry horn, deeds of blood

would be wrought, and Murder walk abroad with silent feet.

Hardly had he finished this awful oath when, from the red-tiled roof of a distant homestead,

a cock crew. He laughed a long, low, bitter laugh, and waited. Hour after hour he waited, but

the cock, for some strange reason, did not crow again. Finally, at half-past seven, the arrival

of the housemaids made him give up his fearful vigil, and he stalked back to his room,

thinking of his vain hope and baffled purpose. There he consulted several books of ancient

chivalry, of which he was exceedingly fond, and found that, on every occasion on which his

oath had been used, Chanticleer had always crowed a second time. "Perdition seize the

naughty fowl," he muttered, "I have seen the day when, with my stout spear, I would have run

him through the gorge, and made him crow for me an 'twere in death!" He then retired to a

comfortable lead coffin, and stayed there till evening.

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