#The Marriage I Wanted//1#
i have seen many people crying, getting hurt, feeling pain, begging for it to stop...
some say...that it's beacuse it's a love marriage...... some say ... its because it's an arranged or forced marriage.....
my friends think it's better to do a love marriage....
well.... in my opinion.... i think love or arrange.... aren't they the same thing.....
we fall in love.... and get Married..... the same way.... we get married and fall in love.... what's the difference...
and if one thinks that we can't fall in love.... than why not just rejected it.... no pain, no suffering... no nothing...
i don't care what they say.... when I'll get married... it'll be an arranged marriage 😤....
i laughed thinking about me... the me in the past.... when i was an idiot.... whatever i said back then.... i still think the same way....
but..... it was just an opinion at that time.... now I'm sure about it...
when i was in my 11th grade.... okay let me tell you..... till 11th grade... i used to stay away from such kind of things.....
i never liked to talked to talk to anybody except for my friends.... they were not exceptions.... i just needed a few friends atleast.....
so... when i turned 17... which was in 11th grade..... there was this boy.... I'm still not sure if that was love at first sight or not... I'm rather confused.... it just happened so fast.... it all happened in front of my eyes... it was like a few seconds thing..... no it was an years thing..... it still feels like it was just yesterday..... even now when i think about it .... i feel disgusted.....
ewwww 🤢..... i feel dizzy, anxious... thinking of his face makes me wanna throw up right this moment....
you know.... the feeling when we are still teenagers and it happens for in the first time...
it feels ticklish all over your body... butterflies in your stomach... the mischievous smile on your face for no reason.....
i never talked to him.... i just saw his eyes....
it was during the COVID.... we all had to wear masks.... so i could only see his eyes...
i loved them... used to...
i had this feeling that I'm starting to like someone.... i told my best friend.... but the first thing i told him was that ....
"i don't wanna feel this way .."
yeah... i never wanted to feel that way ..... I'll be honest.... it felt good..... but still i didn't wanted it to happen.... but in the end i gave up....
i just went with flow.... i fall for him.... there was a rival... well not a rival... she never liked him..... he did..... it was half year after.... i noticed a few things about him..... he started to look me in the eyes.... he started to stare at me....when ever i hold his hand or touched him... he used to smile....
whenever he got a chance... he always held my hand....
and the day came... he said it.... i did too.... it was overwhelming..... the start was good.... but the end was painful....
he did have something for me.. yeah true.... but it was never love.... it never was.... it was attraction.... it wasn't even been a week and he was forcing me to be his boyfriend.... like what the fu*k man..... i did say how i felt... but i never said I'll date anyone....
he said that he wasn't forcing me... but the way he talked it felt like he was..... then i finally lost it and cleared everything..... it took a month for me, for my feelings, for everything... to go back to how it used to be....
i was recalling all this.... when someone knocked on the door of my room....
she opened the door... and looked at me with her soft loving eyes.... which were flowing a bit too much today.... what is it...???
Jimin
*i smiled at her questioning with a frown*
Mrs Park
come down Jim....
i just nodded my head at her.... for which she head back downstairs.....
i put my phone down which i had in my hand.... i was texting with my bestie.... i miss him a lot.... he went to Busan after our graduation.... it's been a while since i met him.... we do usually talk on facetime... but that cute bunny like face... i really wanna squish him in my arms....it would he nice to meet him again....
after graduation all of us separated.... getting engaged with our work.... the fun, enjoyment, crazy things ... we used to do.... are all.... like memories now....
i always think that i should forget those moments when i was hurt.... beacuse of him ..... but then i remembered how my friends held me when i was down.....
i can't.... i just can't let those memories faint away.....
as..... i went downstairs.....
i saw my dad sitting on the sofa beside my mom..... they were talking.... they seemed happy....
Mrs Park
ohhh ..... you're here ....
i went to him and he hold my hand gently and made me sit between him and mom.... she held my other hand as i sat between the two....
looking at them i knew something was up..... every child does.... every child feels this way when ever their parents act like this......
when i was kid... whenever i did something.... this was the same scene..... and i still know that feeling.... how i knew what i did.... and what was coming up..... they never hit or slap me... never.... but i did get scolded..... but... don't want to blabber about myself... but i never did anything which they didn't like..... but that doesn't mean i neglected things which i didn't like.... i was and still am an obidient child.... i do listen to them... but i have my owns opinion too ... and they understand it..... and that's the best feeling ever.....
even if i refuse to them on something.... they'll first listen to me and then go to the conclusion..... and that's what makes them the best parents.....
i was looking at my dad... when he said....
Mr Park
i have a friend.... Min.... you remember...???
Mr min is dad's childhood friends.... I've met him a few times... and he's really cool.... i never visited them... but they did came here....
he used to do boxing.... he still does it.... but dad said that after getting married he stopped it... cause aunty... i mean Mrs Min.... didn't liked it.... not that she didn't like him doing it... she just didn't like to see him getting hurt.... who would afterall he's her beloved husband....
i was brought back from my thoughts when my dad spoke again....
Mr Park
you know he went to australia for a few years....
Mr Park
he will be coming back in a few days....
Jimin
it'll be so exciting to meet him again 😄....*i started speaking looking at dad and ended the sentence looking at mom....*
Mr Park
yeah... we are too....
Mr Park
but.... that's not the point....
Jimin
then what is it....???
Jimin
i never knew that....😐
Mrs Park
of course... you didn't
Mrs Park
all you ever talked about is your aunt and his boxing....
Mr Park
uhmm.... so jimin...
his hold on my hand felt a bit tighter and warm.....
Mr Park
a question for you.....
Mr Park
do you wanna get married.... anytime soon ....
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Braty Author 😐🙂...
to be continued.....
Braty Author 😐🙂...
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2022-06-21
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