The Way I Wanted To Be Loved !
There a person sitting in the bed while look at her bedroom window .
it's noon 1:00 ok but outside it's dark gray it's like it will rain anytime soon but the person who sitting in the room is so gloomy like climate was there .
She feeling broken and tired . she wants to cry out loud but she couldn't , her eyes is tired , her body is numb , her heart is broken into million pieces , she feel so devasted
all she want now is a warm hug , which will make her feel okay , but she is stubborn to let world know what she is feeling .
everyone say's after 18 you'll get to live your life but it's not how it mentioned . you going to go through a big sh!t which you didn't ready for.
we have to work hard , we get to know this world reality, we have to make our parents proud , we have to do what we don't wanted to do
does anyone have warned us about this reality of world ?? NO .
Even if our parents have told us about that .. like this
"lil one the world now you seeing and playing and hoping this how it'll be is all a LIE"
WHY NO ONE WARNED ME ? WHY NOT ? IM BROKEN NOW !! ARGHHHHHH!!!
in all my childhood I wished to be grown up get my freedom.. oh my how foolish I'm of thinking that .
no told me about my periods , you all said when you hit your puberty you will look like woman with elegant but no one said it will give the pain make your heart shrink , ever inch of my body will rip into pieces and I bleed down ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ
all I thought that time is how my mom act all perfect she never show her face once displeased , she even done house chores and took care of us , "I'm sorry mumma"
every year 12 months I cried for 3 days and go through for 6 days bleeding down (totally my periods last long for 6 days )
I'm 21 now soon to be 22 !
when I was celebrating my 17th birthday I wished to be 18 soon and to be adult .
and on my 18th birthday I was so happy .
because I'm adult now I can do whatever I wanted do . but the first thang I want to do is date someone.
even my hormones hitting me good for lust and love. becoming needy when we met hot guy and become all soft wants to love someone dearly what a bitçhy am I !? ಠωಠ
I always feel disgust when my dad come all drunk and when he smoke .
untill I know how cigarettes helps to relieve your stress from every situation lust, love , depression , stress , anxious , etc.,
drink oh man ! it makes me help to sleep and not lemme overthinking . it gives my mind lil rest of not thinking useless scenarios
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