There a person sitting in the bed while look at her bedroom window .

it's noon 1:00 ok but outside it's dark gray it's like it will rain anytime soon but the person who sitting in the room is so gloomy like climate was there .

She feeling broken and tired . she wants to cry out loud but she couldn't , her eyes is tired , her body is numb , her heart is broken into million pieces , she feel so devasted

all she want now is a warm hug , which will make her feel okay , but she is stubborn to let world know what she is feeling .

everyone say's after 18 you'll get to live your life but it's not how it mentioned . you going to go through a big sh!t which you didn't ready for.

we have to work hard , we get to know this world reality, we have to make our parents proud , we have to do what we don't wanted to do

does anyone have warned us about this reality of world ?? NO .

Even if our parents have told us about that .. like this

"lil one the world now you seeing and playing and hoping this how it'll be is all a LIE"

WHY NO ONE WARNED ME ? WHY NOT ? IM BROKEN NOW !! ARGHHHHHH!!!

in all my childhood I wished to be grown up get my freedom.. oh my how foolish I'm of thinking that .

no told me about my periods , you all said when you hit your puberty you will look like woman with elegant but no one said it will give the pain make your heart shrink , ever inch of my body will rip into pieces and I bleed down ༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

all I thought that time is how my mom act all perfect she never show her face once displeased , she even done house chores and took care of us , "I'm sorry mumma"

every year 12 months I cried for 3 days and go through for 6 days bleeding down (totally my periods last long for 6 days )

I'm 21 now soon to be 22 !

when I was celebrating my 17th birthday I wished to be 18 soon and to be adult .

and on my 18th birthday I was so happy .

because I'm adult now I can do whatever I wanted do . but the first thang I want to do is date someone.

even my hormones hitting me good for lust and love. becoming needy when we met hot guy and become all soft wants to love someone dearly what a bitçhy am I !? ಠωಠ

I always feel disgust when my dad come all drunk and when he smoke .

untill I know how cigarettes helps to relieve your stress from every situation lust, love , depression , stress , anxious , etc.,

drink oh man ! it makes me help to sleep and not lemme overthinking . it gives my mind lil rest of not thinking useless scenarios

Love

What is love ?

How it's look like ?

How it's feel ?

From where will I get ?

Who will give ?

Hundreds of questions in my head . Because no one showed me what is love . *sigh*

PARENTS LOVE

The love we get from our birth , may be before we come into this world ! Their care and affections have no boundaries .

Mother love is definitely one we all need in every situation .

For boy mothers are their first love , for girls first best friend.

Mothers are strict at the same time cool . However she gets angry she won't lemme sleep with empty stomach that's how her love I got , when I do any mistake she tries to make me understand that's how I got affection , when I get hurt or sad or moody she always there that's how I got took care .

Father oh my this man is obviously mystery box but full of soft cotton candy . He always stay quit not talk much except when it's needed to be . For girls fathers are their first love , for boy first best friend . He always stay strict but he always never say no to his child that's how I got his affection . He always ask how was the day that's how I got to know about his care . He always make us understood every little thing around this world like strict maths teacher that's how I got his love .

When mom gots to know she's pregnant she shared this news everyone was happy but father is already in cloud9 and planning for future for his baby and happiness and good path for that unborn .

When everyone demanding for girl baby or boy baby , while parents just want their baby whatever gender it is .

Parents start to take care of the baby in the tummy , talk with that baby in the tummy . Starts to choose a name for that unborn . Debating with eachother how will the baby looks like . etc.,

After the baby born father's are the on who hold them that's his happiness.

When mother wake up from her unconscious only to feed her hours old baby that's her happiness.

When the baby say Amma / Appa after her few months before her one year that's parents happiness.

Even they love us so much they never leave us to be spoil brat, their little scold , their beat everything is for reason just because they just want us to be matured , discipline , understandable , responsible person .

But we overreact but we never hate them . Simply we can't hate our parents whatever it is we can't I say WE CAN'T .

Because this is the love we always have in our whole life .

Our parents love is the only this we can have without any gain and loss . Whatever it takes I run to my mom and cry she never ask what happen she console with all her heart just to make us okay. when i don't have any mony in my pocket only my father will give without knowing because he don't his own child to suffer .

that's how I got my parents love even they are tired of me .

I'm sorry mom and dad whatever mistakes I have done in this life .

I just love you Amma Appa ♡

Friends !! a beautiful relationship start from everywhere whoever whatever

As we all know our first friend is our parents next our cousins, everyone has a favourite cousin in the family.

Then a neighborhood as a friend who we enjoy Playing in the across our home grow together with that neighbour friend who will also liked by our parents and eventually compared *sigh*

school friends something that we all never expected one.

desk mate .

lunch mate .

class mate .

study mate .

etc.,

we've different types of friends in schools colleges.

mainly we'll get our best one who we trust , partner of crime , supportive one , like one soul two bodies.

that's what we call BEST FRIEND

pure relationship we fight but we never fall apart

we never let anyone in between us

we take punishment together

if I cry he also cry with me

If I losing my hope he encourage me

if I wanted to die that bitçh also wants to die

if I'm afraid he let to know me my strength and he will also be strength

that's how vice versa we were been together

that's what friendship

no secrets no shame no pride no ego the relationship will be us what we before our best friends

even our each families treat us as their own child ❤️

when we even goes different countries or different places for work or for future we still have our bestfriend to talk about everything everyday they're our safe place comfort zone

even we're not talking for months years because of busy days

still we remind have the same bond same love same sh!t

best friends or literally another parents

bestfriends are that siblings we love to spoil with love and care

bestfriends are a good teacher

bestfriends are like God gifts

how we love our parents siblings

that's how we love our bestfriend they also become or priority, huh no , they become my soulmate who I don't want to lose in any cost .

my bestfriend never call my parents as mom and dad instead of aunt and uncle , same for me too I also call his parents mom and dad

even we saved our parents mom1/ mom2 , dad1 /dad2

lol !!

I'm girl and my bestfriend is boy .

so some of them thinks that we're lovers

some of them thinks we're siblings

some of them mind their Business (I love this kinda peoples)

when I got into my first period I told to my bestfriend.

" ji I guess I'm going to die " I told

he asked "why what happened, wait I'll be there in min"

and he cut my call

after few minutes he came to my room and asked me :

"tell me idiot what are you going through anythis happened did mom beat the shit out of you ??? " so many questions,

all I just said "I'm bleeding that's to from my main part "

as we were on 7th class we don't know nothing (such a innocent child we are :-) )

he looked at me for moment and his eyes got teary and he said "Cuba I guess you have cancer " and as I'm already scared for my life this idiot friend of my literally made me to die

and suddenly a deep back pain and abdomen pain at once. (I couldn't forget that day even it's been 10years)

I cried , he also cried with me I asked him to not to tell parents and he just nod and promised me "if you die I'll die with you " (how lovely we're)

as we're crying my parents heard and run to my room to see we're crying eachother embrace

they asked "what happen Cuba ?? why you both crying??" we just cried

but suddenly pain got worse and I cried more my bestfriend told my parents "she's bleeding that's to from her private parts "

"I don't want her to die mom , dad please help her " he was begging and crying and I'm also crying because my pain

but my just laughed and my dad smiled and pick my bestfriend and left we both are looking at scene with disbelief.

and my mom said I did get my puberty I was confuse as hell and I eventually gets to know everything because my mom explains and my mamma (my bestfriend 's mom) too

and I explained this to my bestfriend. while explaining him i got awkward but him listening carefully

from that day he started to take special care on my periods .

blessed to have him :,-)

in my life .

thank you bestfriend

I love you so much (TT)

ps: I'll have lots to tell bout my bestfriend I explain in coming chapters!