CHAPTER 5

Peter was ten minutes late. Kaisa had been early as usual; she was a Finn, always on or before time fora rendezvous. But as soon as she saw him walking towards her, wearing a dark navy mac, she forgave him his lateness. He didn't know Helsinki after all. His hair was darker than she remembered, as were his eyes. When he spotted her, he opened his arms, scooped Kaisa up inside his coat and quickly let go of her again. She looked around; it wasn't something people in Finland did on the street, in public. Besides some of her boyfriend's family might see her. Kaisa could just imagine what would happen if his aunt spotted her with a dark-haired man. The old bat would know he was foreign straight away, with his features and the way he dressed; a summer mac in October! Luckily

it was a cold, windy evening and very few people had braved the outdoors. So, Peter said. They were standing opposite each other, 'You're here. His dark eyes were again boring into Kaia.

She looked down at her boots and said, "Yes.'"Well, I'm glad, he said and took her hand.

They walked, arm in arm along the deserted North Esplanade. Their steps matched easily, it was as if they'd done this for years and years; sauntered together like this along the streets of Helsinki, looking into shop windows with their bright and inviting lights. But everywhere was shut; it was well past six o'clock. Kaisa suddenly realised she hadn't given a thought to where they should go. As if he'd read her mind, Peter said, 'Shall we go and have a drink?'Kaisa looked up at him. A pub, perhaps?' he said.

She took him to the only place she knew none of her boyfriend's family would go, Kaarle XII. 'Kalle, as the students called the place, was popular with young drinkers -there was a disco on Thursday nights when it was difficult to get in. Matti hated new music; he only liked the old-fashioned dances, such as tango, Finnish humppa or the waltz. Kaisa knew he'd never set foot in a bar like Kalle. Fora Saturday night, it wasn't too full; they found a table in the corner and Kaisa went to get two beers from the counter. When she handed the bottle and glass to Peter, he glanced behind him, where a group of guys were whistling and pointing in their direction. Sailors from my ship, Peter said and poured beer into his glass. He laughed; it seemed to be another joke.

Peter put his hand over Kaisa's and smiled. She felt inexplicably happy; here she was sitting opposite a foreign sailor, a man she'd met only once before. He was good-looking - in an obvious way, which usually would make Kaia mistrustful. Yet she didn't want to shift her position even slightly in case he let go of her hand. She smiled at him and he pulled her fingers to his lips and kissed them.

I'm really happy you're here.'"The noise from the other tables and the music grew

louder; they couldn't hear each other. One of the sailors came out over to the table and, looking at Kaisa, said, 'Aren't you going to introduce me to the lovely lady, Sir?'Kaisa couldn't understand what Peter replied, but he finished his beer quickly and said, 'Could we go somewhere else? Kaisa found another place near the Helsinki train station, where they ordered some food. She watched Peter eat a steak, while she picked at a salad. Over the meal, he told her about his childhood, how he didn't do as well at school as he should have done.

'I was very lazy, he said. His father wanted him to join the Navy, and he did that as soon as he could after finishing school.' And I love it, he said and smiled. Kaisa, in turn, told him about her childhood, about all thee schools she'd been to, about how her family moved to Stockholm when she was eleven, after which she'd hardly spent more than a year in one school.

'How many languages do you speak?"Just Swedish and English, and a little bit of French and Germany. And Finnish, obviously Wow, Peter said. But my English isn't so good, she said. You speak English wonderfully -I love your accent. Kaisa could feel her face grow hot and was afraid she blushed. She lowered her eyes. Peter took hold of her hands and bent over the table, closer to her. 'I love everything about you.

You mustn't say that.' Kaisa could feel Peter's fingers over the ring on her left hand. Why not? I'm engaged to be married.' She saw Peter glance down at her left finger, with the white and yellow gold band on it, and let go of her hands. There was silence. Kaisa held her breath. This would surely be it; next, he'll say he has to get back to the ship. Kaisa stared at a piece of lettuce on her plate. It had gone brown at the edges. At last, Peter said, "But you're not married. She looked into his dark eyes; again Kaisa felt like she

could sink into them, 'No.'

Kaisa was so relieved Peter still wanted to be with her even though he now knew that by being here with him she was betraying another man. She knew she should be strong and go back to her fiancé, but something pulled her weeks before, Peter told Kaisa his commanding officer had warned him about her."What do you mean? There are honey traps, you know.

When Kaisa looked at him, not comprehending what he was talking about, he added, 'KGB agents posing as beautiful young women to trap young officers. Kaisa laughed. She had to. Her as a KGB agent! Helsinki But I'm not, she said and put her hand on his arm resting on the table. I know you're not. Very few of these honey traps wear an engagement ring, for one.' He laughed and made Kaisasmile too. So you noticed the ring from the start!' she said. He nodded.' But how, if you knew...Peter shrugged his shoulders and took her hand between his. 'I couldn't help myself. You're very beautiful. Kaisa stared at him. Thank you, she whispered."And we sail tomorrow, Peter said. His eyes had grown even darker and Kaisa had to look away to stop herself from leaning over to kiss him It became embarrassing to stay inside the restaurant without ordering more food or drink, so they got up and once again braved the cold weather in Esplanade Park. At least it had stopped snowing. They sheltered from the chill wind by the statue of Eino Leino, the Finnish poet. Kaisa tried to remember some of his romantic works, but all she

could recall was a verse from a poem about old age that she had to study at school, 'Haihtuvi numerous niinkuin vierivävirta'. Kaisa translated for Peter, 'Youth disappears as fast as a river flows. She looked up at the imposing figure, with its heavy cape, and wondered if the great man was trying to tell her something. The park was deserted and they were

standing in the shadow of the statue. Kaisa was sure no one would be able to see them and relaxed a little. You're lovely, Peter said, and he took Kaisa into his embrace. She forgot all about the poem or being cold, or her boyfriend's family. She felt safe in Peter's arms.

He took Kaisa's face between his hands and kissed her. She kissed him back. He held her tight, kissing her neck, and lips again. His hands, now warmed by her body, were mov-

ing around inside Kaisa's jumper; she didn't tell him to stop. Kaisa couldn't resist him. she felt his desire hard against her thigh and she wanted him so much her body

ached.

'Can't we go to your flat?' Peter asked breathlessly. My boyfriend might be there. Kaisa freed herself a little from his grip, 'He has a key but Peter insisted; it felt as if he was expecting her to say no but eventually give in if he kept at her. At last, she had to tell him her fiancé had a hobby: guns. 'He has a favourite handgun, which he sometimes carries"

Peter stared at her but didn't ask about the flat again.

Kaisa's last bus was due to leave soon, and Peter said he would walk her to the stop. 'Tl write, and you must promise to write back to me,' he said and took Kaisa's hand.

They walked slowly along the Boulevard, huddled against the cold. The windswept hard along the tree-lined street and they had to hold each other close to keep warm. When

Kaisa saw her bus turn a corner from Mannerheim Street, she felt tearful but swallowed her emotions and forced a smile.

Peter took hold of her chin and looking into her eyes said, 'We'll see each other again, I promise.' He pulled something out of the pocket of his coat and gave it to her. It's a tape of a band I really like, the Pretenders. The best track is Brass in Pocket. I want you to have this. Kaisa couldn't speak; she held tightly onto the cassette. Something to remember me by, he said and kissed her again. The bus stopped and Kaisa tried to pull herself away from Peter. He held onto her hand and wouldn't let go. One more, he said and they embraced again. Kaisa saw the bus driver shrug. He closed the doors and pulled away. That was the last one!' she said, and they both laughed. When, past midnight, Peter put her into a taxi, and Kaisa was alone, she finally let herself cry. She knew she'd never see the Englishman again.

Kaisa dreaded going back to her flat. She wondered briefly if she should get the taxi driver

to take her to her friend's place in town instead. t was nearly one o'clock in the morning; she couldn't wake her up now. But she wanted to hold onto the image of Peter, preserve the feel of his kisses, to not lose the smell of him on her. Yet she knew she had to come clean to her fiancé at some point. When Kaisa opened the door she sighed with relief. There were no lights on. The flat was empty. She put the chain across the door and leant

back against it. She had another night to dream about

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