continuation

It killed Cassidy to hear Drake utter those words, but she was determined she wouldn’t let him see he still had the power to hurt her. Like a vulture, he’d move in for the kill if he sensed weakness. He may have broken her spirit and stolen her hope, but she wasn’t down for the count… yet. “Sounds like some things never change, J.T.” She glanced at her friend, the only man who’d stood by her when the rest of the town rallied around the almighty Drake Elliott and branded her a ***** not worthy of their time. Drake spun around, barely sparing her a glance before he turned his attention back to J.T. “I’ve heard that saying about the cat dragging in their kill, but I never thought I’d get to see it firsthand.” She squared her shoulders and tried to blink back the hot sting of tears clouding her vision. She wasn’t wearing the designer clothing he’d encouraged her to buy on his dime while they were together, but she’d just washed the jeans and white T-shirt at the center that morning. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail, her face scrubbed free of make-up, but she held her head high, determined to act as though his insult hadn’t hit its mark. She moved in to his line of vision, vowing to stand her ground. “Some of us don’t need fivehundred-dollar jeans to feel worthy.” He smirked as he looked her up and down. “Probably a good thing since you can’t afford them anymore. How does it feel not having a sugar daddy to support you anymore?” Her face flamed as she looked from the man she’d once loved to J.T. Knowing his opinion of her couldn’t get any lower, she decided to fan the flames. “How do you know my current boyfriend couldn’t buy and sell you?” When she saw the fury in his eyes, she almost backed down. “Who the hell is it?” he asked, his eyes raking over her the way they once had in the heat of a passionate moment. “He can’t be paying for it if you’re dressing like that.” Without considering the consequences, she struck him hard and fast, the echo ringing out through the near-empty bar. Her first instinct was to step back, out of his reach, but she knew that’s what he expected her to do, so she stood her ground, daring to look him in the eye. “Hey, hey,” J.T. said, holding his hand up. “I’m gonna have to draw the line at physical contact, you two. If you can’t play nice, one of you will have to leave.” Cassidy knew Drake Elliot would never be escorted from a bar in this city, so she conceded. Lowering her voice, she asked, “You get high on bullying people, don’t you?” As though he’d never felt the impact of her hand on his face mere moments before, he threw his head back and laughed. “Honey, I don’t know a damn thing about getting high. That’s your deal, not mine.” He looked up and down her bare arms, even though he knew damn well she’d never shot up before or during their time together. “If you’re looking for tracks, you won’t find any.” “Don’t act like you wouldn’t stoop so low. An addict is an addict.” She didn’t know why his words came as such a shock to her. He’d gone to great lengths to ruin her life, why wouldn’t he enjoy spewing his venom the first time their paths crossed? “I haven’t used in…” He raised an eyebrow. “Since the night I caught you in bed with my brother?” She shot a quick look at J.T., who pretended to be wiping down the bar with a damp rag. “Yeah, your secret’s out, sugar. Even J.T. knows about it now. I was just asking him how he would’ve felt walking in on Nikki banging Ty. Of course, we all know she’s too classy to ever do a thing like that, don’t we?” “God, I hate you,” she whispered, turning on her heel and running toward the back of the bar. She should’ve known she couldn’t gain the upper hand in a battle of will or wits with that man. He was too smart, too powerful, too wealthy, and obviously he’d added cruelty to his repertoire. He’s a hateful, spiteful, bitter, vindictive excuse for a human being. Leaning against the closed door of her small dressing room, she let her eyes drift closed as she took deep, cleansing breaths. At moments like this, she would’ve turned to the pills that always allowed her to escape when the pain was too intense: her mother’s drinking, the sexual abuse, feeling so scared and alone… Cassidy turned the lock and sank down on the old leather chair as her legs threatened to give way. She’d come too far to risk another setback now. She told herself Drake’s opinion of her didn’t matter, but she knew she was lying to herself. Every day for the past year she’d refused to give up on her dream of becoming a singer because she was determined to prove to him that she could make it without him. Her hands trembled as she picked up the phone and dialed her friend. For the past several months, Cassidy had been the one lending support to recovering addicts at the center. It had been a long time since she’d had to ask Phil to guide her through the dark valley of temptation.

Breathing a sigh of relief when he picked up the phone, she said, “Hey, Phil, it’s me. You got a minute?” “Cassidy? Honey, you don’t sound so good. What is it? What’s wrong?” Like the older brother she’d never had to protect her from the darkness, Phil was always there with a shoulder to lean on, a bed to sleep in, or a few dollars to buy a hot meal after a gig. She didn’t know how she would’ve gotten through this past year without him. “I just saw Drake at Jimmy’s.” She pulled her legs up, resting her chin on her knees. “I tried to stand up to him…” She squeezed her eyes shut as she re-played the ugly scene in her mind. “But I just made a fool of myself.” “What happened? What did he say?” That’s why she loved Phil so much. He was fiercely protective of the people he loved and wouldn’t allow anyone to get close enough to hurt them. He was like a protective uncle to those living at the center, helping them to move through their drug addiction the same way she had, one day at a time. “He said I looked terrible…” She sniffled, reaching for tissue. Damn him for making her feel like less than nothing when she’d just started believing she might be worth something again. “He’s an idiot. Who the hell cares what he thinks?” The Drake she remembered, the man who’d loved her with his whole heart would never have hurt her that way. He’d made her believe that she was special, beautiful, and capable of accomplishing any goal she set. No matter how high the bar, he always encouraged her to raise it because he believed she could do anything. “I care.” She caught a tear trickling down her face with the edge of her tissue. “I know it sounds stupid, but I had this fantasy of what would happen when I finally saw him again.” “Tell me about it.” Phil always encouraged the residents of the shelter to talk about their feelings. He said burying them is what prompted them to turn to drugs in the first place. “I imagined I might run in to him at some awards show.” She felt a little silly sharing the fantasy with him, especially since it couldn’t be any further from her current reality, but her days of blocking her feelings with drugs were over. “I’d be performing or maybe I’d be a presenter.” She smiled as she imagined the glittery dress, designer shoes and expensive jewelry adorning her tanned and toned body. “I’d be nominated for an award… naturally.” She heard the smile in Phil’s voice when he said, “Naturally. Go on.” “My hair and make-up would be professionally done. I’d look fabulous, maybe on the arm of some A-list actor or platinum-selling artist…” It was hard not to get caught up in the daydream. The vision seemed almost real to her, she’d thought about it so many times. Visualization and affirmation had become a big part of her daily routine. They helped her stay positive in spite of the fact she had no money, no home to call her own, no family, and only a few close friends to support her through the daily trials of being a recovering drug addict and wannabe musician in a city where it seemed everyone shared the same dream. “You’ve got my attention.”

She knew Phil wouldn’t think it was silly. He was the one who’d introduced her to visualizations and affirmations, claiming her mind had the power to help her overcome her addiction. The last time she’d given up drugs it had been for Drake because she wanted a future with him. One night with her sister had set her back, almost stealing her will to go on without Drake there to give her a reason to fight the exhausting battle again, but with Phil’s help, she’d come to realize she was fighting this battle for herself because she was worth it. To hell with what Drake Elliott thinks of me. “You still there?” Phil asked. When she realized she’d allowed her mind to wander to a place she tried to avoid going, she said. “Yeah, I’m still here.” Determined to refocus on her vision, she said, “Where was I? That’s right, at the awards ceremony. In my vision, he takes one look at me and realizes I’ve made it without him.” “And how does that make you feel?” he asked quietly. “It makes me feel good, proud, strong.” “In your vision…” He paused. “Does Drake want you back?” She knew she should say no, but lying to herself or Phil wasn’t an option anymore. Her life was all about facing the harsh realities now. “Yes.” “You know you can’t heal your life for him, Cassidy. This journey is about you.” “I know.” She scraped her nails over her scalp. “But letting go of him has been even harder than letting go of the drugs. It’s like he’s a part of me.” “I can understand that. I feel the same way about my wife, but the difference is that she’s always been there to love and support me during the ups and downs. When she should have thrown me out on the street, she didn’t. She put up with me through the withdrawals, cried with me and held me through the nights I wanted to shoot up even more than I wanted her by my side.” Cassidy had never had that with Drake. He sent her away to a posh rehab clinic thousands of miles away, and when she returned, she wanted him to believe that she was “cured.” Little did either of them know that she was always just one high away from the house of cards tumbling down around her. “You have to remember that you’re rebuilding your life for you, Cassidy. Not for Drake. You made a mistake, you had a setback, and he couldn’t get past that.” “Would you have been able to get past it?” she asked. “If you walked in and found your wife in bed with your brother, could you forgive her?” It seemed like an unforgiveable sin to Cassidy, even though there were extenuating circumstances Drake would never know about. “I don’t know.” He sighed. “It’s not for me to say whether Drake should or shouldn’t have forgiven you. And it’s not for you to say. He’s the only one who could have made that decision and he did.” “I know.” “Do you need me to come?”

She knew he was asking whether she felt tempted to stray into the darkness of her addiction again. “No, I’ll be fine.” She took a deep breath and forced a smile. “I just needed to vent a little. Thanks for listening, Phil.” “I’ll always be here for you. You know that.”

***This work has been signed with NovelToon, and piracy such as reprinting without permission is strictly prohibited.***

***Download NovelToon to enjoy a better reading experience!***