ketchup

"goodnight," that's the last text of the day I receive from my girlfriend. I'm smiling like a fool as I scroll through our just had conversation, I know she's tired so I won't bother her any further. I slowly drift off to sleep as my brain dances to the sounds of guitars, drums and human vocal cords playing through my earphones.

I get a text at about nine in the morning from my girlfriend saying she's off to fetch her degree, I try to hide the discomfort in my voice for I fear I might ruin her big day. Before you misunderstand my discomfort let me explain, I'm currently in my first year of university and yes I started later than she did, I did not pass my second semester hence couldn't make it to second year so in truth I feel like a failure when my girlfriend hails me with tales of her accomplishment at the age of twenty three. I'll be repeating my second semester I'm much more confident now than I was back then, I've been studying more and going out less an action which she ofcourse has noted and now claims we spend too little time together clearly voicing her discomfort. I know she's right but how do I tell her I just want to be seen as somebody not headed for doom by society, our friends and family and most importantly by her.

I am a jerk I know, I've been consciously ignoring most of her calls for about a week now and I barely respond to her texts but when I do respond my response is usually along the lines of "sorry I couldn't speak I was in the library" or "sorry I was busy with an assignment" sometimes even claiming I was asleep at the time. I've been actively getting headaches now and then they never really last long, I've simply made a mental note that it's all due to stress and spending to much time on my books and PC screen. We haven't spoken for close to three weeks now which makes me really nervous and in turn takes me straight to her door for a conversation, she's happy to see me but I can tell she's being protective of her being, it's like she's trying to ask me what it is I want without actually putting it into words.

A few hours go by we're back to our old selves all cheery and high on emotional bliss, "ew" she playfully words as she points at a red stain just above me lip "what are you, some ravenous hungry beast........who gets ketchup up their nose" at this point she's almost falling out of her seat laughing at me as I take a napkin to wipe the sauce stain of my face and get back to enjoying the burger and fries before my eyes. We exchange a number of words some happy some sad all in all it's clear she's having a good time and so am I, we keep at it for a time and I notice she keeps staring at my lips which ofcourse makes me think it's a kiss she desires but before I confer my thoughts she grabs a napkin saying "come here you big baby" and winds up wiping just below my nose. She looks back and forth between me and the napkin to which she looks straight at me and simply says "I think your nose is bleeding it's not ketchup."

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