Will humans be afraid when the Day of Judgment arrives?
could they run away from the death that is ready to end their beautiful life?
Will they scream, cry, even beg to be given an extension of time to be able to live longer in this world?
yeah maybe all of that is true. But the question is not for me.
I am not afraid. Because I do not have a future to be able to worry about the ferocity of the Day of Judgment later.
I won't run. Because I was the one who approached the death.
And I will not scream, cry let alone beg for an extension of life. Because that's exactly what I want to do right now.
I brought my feet closer to the edge of the cliff where I was standing. I can vaguely imagine the smile of my mother waving her hand when she took me to kindergarten first. Slices the heart, constricts the chest, remembering that I will disappoint his trust in me. Because Disappeared has hope, there is no purpose, and the story of my life has ended since my mother left me to face the creator of the universe.
I spread a smile on my lips, at least I'm happy because soon I will follow him in heaven there.
'Mother I'm coming' I mumbled as I prepared to dive into the abyss more than 300m deep.
*sreeeekkkk..
“Wow… wait!” a man's voice emerged from behind the bushes. I turned to look for the owner of the source of the voice. How shocked I was when I found a figure I shouldn't have seen right now. I know him. it is certain that almost everyone knows him how not he is the smartest, most popular, and richest guy in my school. but of course he couldn't possibly know me. because I'm just a geeky orphanage girl who is looked down upon.
"Laila… please don't kill yourself, this is not the best way to end your life," Ardan pleaded. I looked at this guy in surprise. how does he know my name and why is he even here?
Actually, I have a lot of questions to ask him. But I don't have time to talk about such unimportant things for now. Likewise, He's been distracting me enough for now.
"What's the matter with you, you should go now .. before you see the blood and will make you unable to sleep tonight" I answered not caring. I looked away from his handsome face and tried to concentrate again on the abyss beneath my toes.
"Of course it's my business, you coward!" he shouted loudly as he stepped closer to me.
How dare he call me a coward! he doesn't know what life I've been through all this time, what kind of pain and hurt I've endured. An incurable wound that I've tried to hide my whole life.
Especially now that there is no longer any reason for me to continue living a futile life. Because in 3 months I will be 18 years old. And like it or not, I had to leave the orphanage where I had been sheltering all this time.
While unfortunately the destiny that God wrote for me. Until now, no family has ever wanted to adopt me as their adopted daughter. I'm alone, alone and I'm sure I won't be strong enough to live outside after leaving the orphanage.
Here, I'm not killing myself, just accelerating the process of death, which of course I will experience after living the cruel life out there, because later I will be more tired and more stressed than I am now. So this is the best choice to reduce the pain of the scars that are increasingly opening in the recesses of my heart.
"I'm not a coward!"
"You don't understand and you won't understand what I've been through all this time!" I snapped. resulting in the reflection of my voice choking from a distance over this abyss.
I can't understand how this guy could judge me like that. I looked down, unable to hold back the tears I had been holding back. I'm ashamed of myself for venting my emotions on a stranger.
“Laila… whatever you've been through I'm sorry you've been hurt. but not in this way you run away from all problems, suicide is only for cowards” said Ardan softly getting closer to the position where I was standing.
"Stop! Do not come close! You take one more step and I will jump!” I threatened to stop his attempts to get closer to me.
“Please… just jump in. I'm sure you're also scared, "he said firmly
once again how dare he doubt my resolve. okay I'll prove it.
I saw the depths of the abyss, how steep it was down there. If I fall from up here, then my body will surely be shattered and no one will recognize my corpse. There's even a chance they won't find my corpse because of the many beasts roaming this forest.
Goosebumps remembering the possibilities that happened. But I have to do this. I take a deep breath and prepare to jump in a count of 1.. 2.. 3…
"ahhhh..."
Unlucky! why am i so scared now Where has the determination I made 5 minutes gone.
"Why don't you jump in? said he was going to kill himself? said Ardan in a mocking tone.
'ugghhh this is all because of him, he broke my concentration earlier' now don't know why I was horrified to see what was under my feet.
I hate this annoying guy! my inner scream
“I… I… Ardan please go there it's none of your business!”
"I told you since I saw then this is my business and I will not leave until you want to come home with me"
"I don't have a home! and I have no reason to go home!”
“There are many things you have not seen and experienced in this world. And I'm sure you'll find a pleasant surprise for you in the future."
I swear I don't believe in happy endings that only happen in children's fairy tales.
"Ardan I'm not a child. And your motivation has no effect on me changing my decision."
Flashing the bitter memories and sufferings of my past life made me strengthen my resolve even more firmly.
"Goodbye Ardan" with that I turned around and closed my eyes preparing to pick up the death that awaited me at the edge of the abyss.
"wait…! ok fine i will let you kill yourself. but before that I beg you to only have 1 week for me to show you 7 reasons why you can't die. after that I promise if you are determined to end your life then I will let you die at any cost”
"And before you agree to this agreement then I will not go even if I have to jump in though. This is not just for you but for my good too. because I won't be able to go home with the guilt haunting me for letting a girl kill herself in front of my eyes.”
I wonder why this guy won't give up. what's the advantage for him with this irreparable me. I am nothing and will remain in this pathetic state. But what worries me again.
no. so there's nothing wrong with letting this guy waste 7 days with me before he realizes how unworthy I am to continue my life that has been broken beyond repair.
So I decided
“Okay only 7 days”
To be continued…
