A reader's death

ONE OF MY BEST READERS DIED, PLEASE PRAY FOR HER & HER FAMILY

THAT TORE ME HEART A PART, SHE HAD A SERIOUS ILLNESS, BUT SHE DIDN'T WANT TO TELL ME FEAR OF THAT MAY make me sad & HURT ME.

But she didn't know that way she would kill me ruthlessly & tear my heart apart.

She even left a note, She talked about me on it, So far her sister didn't tell me what she wrote.

Since yesterday early in the morning, I have been crying insanely, I couldn't drink anything nor have my lunch that I feel that I'm going to die because of sadness.

Her favorite story was forgive me & don't forget me, I thought because its ML has uncurable disease, She asked me alot not to kill him, Hoping that her story would be the same.

Feeling guilty is killing me, She begged me alot to update daily, I didn't know that she was dying & Hoping to complete it before her death.

No one told me that except after her death, Why?

I swear to God, If she told me that I would give up on anything even sleeping to update it for her sake daily.

She was always smiling, I haven't ever imagined that she has a serious illness & she was dying.

Whenever, I updated this story she was in a flash comment as If she was impiantly waiting for the updating, I didn't realize that except after her death

When, Yesterday, I updated my story which she love it, Hoping that she may comment as usual, but she didn't.

I don't know What's wrong with me, I'm not good at anything.

My weakness made her fear for telling me that, but she killed me by doing that instead of hurting me.

So, To everyone who has similar situations would you please tell me that as you are here & I will be strong & accept that because if you don't tell me that & one day I know that after your death, in the next time I won't ever bear it, I'm gonna lose my mind.

May be it's the first time, I tell you that, but Whenever any one comment, Then Suddenly, Stopped that, I send him massages to make sure that he is still alive.

& In the case he didn't replay, I go to his home page to make sure that, He is still alive when I saw that he COMMITTED in other stories, I said to myself he may got boring of my stories, but the most important thing to me that he is still living happily , If he isn't I pray for him & keep sending messages again & again to make sure that she is alive.

My mother told me as long as you live you would be have to depart from others whatever by traveling or death & you must accept, but so far I'm unable to endure that, That is the most painful thing ever, My heart unable to stand it, That's out of my control.

Even when, I chat with any one I don't ever say Goodbye, I say talk to you later because I hate Goodbyes the most.

I know that, I'm too emotional person & I bothered you alot because of my sensitivity, All people around me say that life doesn't suit you because you are so emotional & Life is so tough, So you must change yourself.

But I can't help it, That's who I'm & I won't ever be able change myself, That's what they unable to understand it.

By : Rahma Ali**.

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