...Jungkook says, “sure,” because he’s a mess for Taehyung. Taehyung is wax burns and anchors, and Jungkook is a candle stump and shipwrecks combined....
...“This is how we heal.” Taehyung places both his elbows on the top of the table, meets Jungkook's gaze without looking away, and Jungkook swears that he sees fire burning in Taehyung's eyes. “I will kiss you like forgiveness. You will hold me like I’m hope.”...
...He doesn’t realize how near their faces are until Taehyung jerks back, lowering his eyes, flustered, and Jungkook clears his throat, heat in his cheeks at how close he had been to losing control. Again. “Continue,” his voice is hoarse, thick with embarrassment....
...“That’s all,” Taehyung mumbles, lifting his mug to his lips, and Jungkook turns away to drain the rest of his Americano....
...Jungkook drives Taehyung home, and they exchange quiet farewells. There’s always a look that lingers too long between them until one of them glances away. Like every time he’s dropped Taehyung off during the past month, Jungkook will get back into his car, and drive away without kissing Taehyung....
...(And every time Jungkook's car turns out of the apartment building, Taehyung will curl his fingers into tight fists, his nails leaving white, crescent shaped marks over his palms.)...
...Jimin throws his arms around Jungkook's neck from the back the moment he skids into the lab, and Jungkook almost crashes face first into his laptop screen, a strangled yelp escaping his lips (not because he was startled, but because he was afraid for his work and laptops are expensive, bless technological advancements)....
...“Jesus shit,” Jungkook gasps, his hands lifting right off the keyboard and poising awkwardly mid-air as his muscles tense. “Jimin. For god’s sake, Jimin.”...
...“Sorry,” Jimin says unapologetically, and shoves a stack of printed papers into Jungkook's face. Jungkook catches a blur of graphs and plot points, some red circles here and there, and glances up at Jimin with a lifted brow. “But guess who’s found usable data!”...
...Yeah, all right, so he’s going to rub it all over Jungkook's face and gloat over his new findings while Jungkook still doesn’t fucking have a clue how to further dissect time dilation and Proper Time with regards to space-time continuum....
...At least Jimin is so happy that he’s blatantly promising to buy Jungkook dinner (also because Yoongi's working overtime and Park Jimin does not, under any circumstances, eat alone)....
...“I’m going to leave early,” Jimin says, tucking his papers back into his file and throwing Jungkook a brief glance, “and take a shower or something. Are you going to stay?”...
...Jungkook makes a noncommittal noise in response, and Jimin takes the opportunity to muss up the younger’s hair, grabbing his jacket and hightailing out of the lab with a quip of “see you later, Jungkookie!”...
...It’s a little past seven in the evening when the screen of Jungkook's phone lights up, soft buzzing on the table that is loud for once, and Jungkook doesn’t ignore it the way he always does when the vibration sounds muted over and under stacks of papers....
...Taehyung's voice bleeds soft yet clear over the receiver, and Jungkook stills, forgetting everything that he had been doing up until that very moment....
...“Hey.”...
...“Are you busy?” And it’s very typical of Taehyung not to return a greeting....
...“Not really. I’m about to leave the lab.”...
...Static crackles gently on the line, and Taehyung mumbles, “I’m outside the observatory.”...
...“What?”...
...Jungkook's never been one to go speechless. He usually has all his replies planned out, but Taehyung is the only exception. Has always been an exception....
...“Is it a bad time? I just… thought I should drop by.”...
...“No, no,” Jungkook blurts, feeling ridiculous and disoriented and panicked all at once. “I’ll come down and bring you in.”...
...Taehyung's bundled up in his coat and scarf, leaning against the side of the building, and Jungkook finds him like this. He dares to reach out, though Taehyung startles when Jungkook's hand slips into his....
...“Surprise?” Taehyung's cheeks are flushed (from the cold, or something else, Jungkook prefers the latter, but he will never know). “Want to grab dinner?”...
...“Sure,” Jungkook makes a mental note to cancel dinner with Jimin as he leads them into the lobby, ends up staring at Taehyung the entire time they’re waiting for the lift....
...Taehyung mumbles, “what?”...
...“I wasn’t expecting a visit,” Jungkook laughs quietly, glancing down at Taehyung's hand, wanting to hold it so badly there’s an ache in his chest. “Did you want to see the observatory?”...
...“Yeah. It’s cool that you work in an observatory. You get to see the stars and touch telescopes all day.” There it is again, the soft quirk of Taehyung's lips that Jungkook's always looking out for (he’s been seeing it more often as of recent)....
...“That’s not what this whole job is about.” Jungkook presses the button for the planetarium and leans against the wall of the lift, arms crossed over his chest so he may (hopefully) have better control of his hands. “I’m doing a research project. I have to write reports, code, and all that. It’s not just telescopes and stargazing.”...
...“Still interesting.”...
...“You know,” Jungkook suddenly says, and Taehyung lifts his head to look at him. “You know that I ventured into astronomy because of you, right?”...
...Taehyung visibly stills, and Jungkook watches him wring his hands together, voice soft, unsteady. “Are you angry?”...
...“No,” Jungkook's voice rises, and he’s not angry, for god’s sake. He’s in disbelief. He’s confused. “Why the hell would I be?”...
...“I was the catalyst of an important life decision,” Taehyung flinches, the action is small but it doesn’t go unnoticed....
...“It was the best decision of my life.”...
...The lift door parts, and Taehyung steps out without a word, faces the nearest wall and stays that way....
...“Taehyung—”...
...He turns around, shows Jungkook a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. He says, “hey, show me the planetarium. I want to see the constellations.”...
...Jungkook takes a deep breath, then nods and gestures for Taehyung to follow him, pushing open the double doors into the dark auditorium, supposedly closed for the day. They walk down the side aisle, and Jungkook moves over to the control panel, flipping the power switches and the projector whirrs softly....
...When he looks up, he sees Taehyung with his face tilted upwards, lips slightly parted in awe of the projections, stars slowly flickering all over the domed ceiling, animated to blink, and Jungkook doesn’t understand how someone who has seen the real deal can be so transfixed by all these mimicries....
...“There’s Andromeda,” Taehyung murmurs, one arm stretched up as he traces his finger over imaginary lines as if playing “joining the dots”, “there’s Pisces.” He glances over at Jungkook for a moment, and Jungkook can see that his smile has finally reached his eyes. “Does the projection vary by month? It seems very tailored.”...
...“Yeah,” Jungkook says, his throat dry, because he’s not ready to be so thrown off balance by a smile that he’s been waiting to see for six years. It slams into him, leaves him breathless, and his chest tightens....
...Then he’s got his arms around Taehyung and his face buried into the crook of the latter’s neck, because there’s only so much that he can take. He can only pretend for so long. Taehyung whispers, “Jungkook.”...
...“It was the best decision of my life,” Jungkook repeats against Taehyung's skin, arms tightening around his waist, and he feels the warmth of Taehyung's hands over his own, their fingers messily tangling. “Because now I’m doing it for me. There are so many things out there that we do not know, Taehyung. And the things that we know can and will be subjected to change.”...
...Taehyung brushes his thumb over the back of Jungkook's hand, and he sounds tired. Exhausted, defeated. “What are you trying to say?”...
...“I’m trying to say, that it wasn’t wrong,” Jungkook places his hands on Taehyung's shoulders and turns him around, locking his arms back around his waist, his gaze searching, pleading. “It wasn’t wrong for us to love each other.”...
...“Jungkook—”...
...“It isn’t wrong,” Jungkook interrupts, a little louder, “for us to love each other.”...
...The illumination flickers above them, soft sound of the machinery and equipment punctuating the heavy air in the auditorium, echoes of Jungkook's confession still reverberating in the confines and off the walls....
...Then Taehyung sighs and lifts his head. “You already know, there’s nothing wrong with the universe. It’s me. I was born sick.”...
...“No,” Jungkook breathes, then cups Taehyung's face in his palms. “I think you’re all right.”...
...Taehyung makes no move to pull away, just stands still, meeting Jungkook's gaze with his own, breath catching in his throat because Jungkook's lips are suddenly on his, desperate and familiar and foreign all at once. Jungkook has always kissed like he means it, and he still does, but it’s different. Taehyung tastes the edge on Jungkook's tongue, his determination and his promise, he tastes the reassurance....
...They kiss quietly in the shadows of the planetarium, under the eyes of stars that will sooner or later burn out and collapse in on themselves. Everything is spiralling towards destruction, time is splintered and the only way to slow time down is to go faster....
...Jungkook only pulls away when they’re both gasping for breath, and he drinks in the way Taehyung looks in the dark, his hair a mess, lips flushed and slightly parted in soft, little pants....
...“I think you’re all right,” Jungkook says again, brushing Taehyung's bangs from his eyes and leaning in for more, lips brushing against Taehyung's....
...It takes a moment, but Taehyung smiles, eyes fluttering half shut. Trusting, open, and finally convinced. “That’s what I think,” he lets out a soft laugh, “too.”...
...(“Are we right?”...
...“If we say we’re right, then we’re right, Taehyung. We’re the only ones who can define us.”...
...“But we’re the minority here.”...
...“We matter.”...
...“Not to them.”...
...“We matter to them. They’re all afraid, because we’re the only ones who are venturing out of this world’s sanctuaries to find other Gardens of Eden. They want to follow, but they’re scared of what they’ll find, or what they won’t find. But we’re not afraid. We’re not, right?”...
...“I don’t know.”...
...“I’m not afraid. I have you; I know you’ll be here with me.”...
...“I will.”...
...“And we’re going to be fine.”...
...“We’re going to be fine.”)...
...(“I’m so sorry, Mom.”...
...“What are you talking about, Jungkook?”...
...“I lied. It wasn’t a phase. I was in love with him, and I still am.”)...
...The day Taehyung moves in, it is a full moon....
...Jungkook slips his arms around Taehyung while he’s outside, on the balcony, his chin propped up on his hands....
...“The world is a beautiful place,” Taehyung says quietly, leaning back against Jungkook as he reaches down to play with the younger’s fingers. “I want to believe that so badly. I wish everyone could let me.”...
...Jungkook lets out a soft hum and noses at Taehyung's temple, speaking lowly. “The world is whatever you want it to be. We get to make our own skies, Taehyung. We get to choose between eclipse and midnight sun. My world,” he pauses, and Taehyung turns around in his arms expectantly, eyes twinkling with a knowing look, “is you. You are my universe, don’t you ever let anything make you feel otherwise.”...
...Taehyung whispers, “I won’t,” and lets Jungkook steal the rest of his words from the tip of his tongue, lips parting for open-mouthed kisses and unspoken promises that he will read with only his fingertips over warm skin....
...In another life, Jungkook will be a cartographer and dedicate years and eons to tracing the contours of Taehyung's back, the dip at the hollow of his throat. He will mark trails of red and purple over pale skin and follow them with a soothing tongue. He will do anything, if it means getting to keep Taehyung close....
...Taehyung is unravelling, his whimpers low and throaty, hypersensitive from how long it’s been since he’s let anyone, anyone touch him the way Jungkook used to, and Jungkook takes pleasure in knowing that he’s the only one who will ever get to scratch scripture into the spaces between bruises....
...“I love you,” Jungkook whispers this by Taehyung's ear, and he cries out, the impact of hips on hips like a collision of dimensions, moaning gospel into a bite of Jungkook's shoulders like a pilgrim who’s finally found his cause....
...Jungkook presses Taehyung into the sheets, brings him to the gates of heaven, then back down again, dips both their feet into the beginnings of hell, but not quite close enough. He drives Taehyung insane, drives them both to where they break out of the spherical confines of the universe and off of a proper edge....
...Later, when they’re both quiet and sated under the warmth of the blankets, Taehyung speaks. He says, “I love you.”...
...There’s a wicked smile on Jungkook's lips as if he’d been waiting for this. He shifts, inching closer until their faces are only a breath apart. “I know sometimes it’s still hard to let me see you in all your cracked perfection, but please know,” he pauses and he sees the recognition light up in Taehyung's eyes, “whether it’s the days you burn more brilliant than the sun or the nights you collapse into my lap, your body broken into a thousand questions, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”...
...If there’s one thing that Jungkook has to live without, he knows that it will never be Taehyung's smile. Because ****, Taehyung's smile puts the sun to shame. His eyes have pulled up into twin crescents, and Jungkook traces the shape of his lips with his finger as Taehyung murmurs, “I will love you when you are a still day.”...
...“I will love you when you are a hurricane.”...
...Taehyung's first to lean in this time, has his turn taking Jungkook's breath away, and they know that it doesn’t matter if they have nothing, because they have each other, and even then, nothing can be everything, because everything is subjected to change....
...(“I lied. It wasn’t a phase. I was in love with him, and I still am.”...
...“You’re still my son, don’t you forget that. You always have a home in me.”)...
...“…I’ve always written about how I’m always lost. The world is such a small place, but it’s so easy to lose yourself in it when no one is heading in the same direction as you are. My father is a pastor, and I was his sick child. I lived in the dark for years, and at some point, I found a light, but I let him go....
...One month ago, the world decided that our story has yet to end, and pitched us back into each other’s orbits. He was someone who was very important to me. He still is. He tells me that I’m not sick, I’m just different, and different is good....
...He says I’m all right, and I believe him....
...— V.”...
...“The Universal Law of Cause and Effect states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Every cause has an effect, and every effect has a cause. Be at cause for what you desire, and you will get the effect.”...
***Download NovelToon to enjoy a better reading experience!***
Updated 117 Episodes
Download
Like this story? Download the app to keep your reading history.
Comments