Chapter 4
Mahiyah
*I said such awful things. I need to go back and apologize as soon as possible*
As I'm thinking to myself
Jungkook
Want something to drink?
I look up quickly at the sound of the voice
Jungkook, a few feet away buying drinks at the vending machine
Mahiyah
Oh, I'm sorry! Did you come here to take me back?
Jungkook
No, I came here because I lost in rock-paper-scissors
Jungkook
So I got put in charge of getting drinks and checking up on you
Jungkook
Whether you come baor not is up to you. I don't care
I'm little ashamed of myself for hoping he came here to console me
As I line up beside Jungkook, who's ordering water after water
Mahiyah
Why are you only buying water?
Jungkook
because no one told me what they wanted
He answers without even glancing at me
Mahiyah
Oh, right. That makes sense
Mahiyah
Sorry about how I behaved earlier. I didn't mean to make everyone feel so uncomfortable
Jungkook
I'm not really bothered by it. I just think you need to acknowledge how much you hurt Soobin
Mahiyah
Yes, i do acknowledge it
Jungkook
Then you're apologising to the wrong person
Jungkook
Oh. Right. I've one more thing to say
Jungkook
I not going to demand that you understand our world.
Jungkook
Just that, you've no right to judge us because you know nothing about our world
Jungkook says, turns on his heel and walks back the way he came
I rush after him but I feel a little awkward walking next to him, so i walk a bit behind him as I timidly say
Mahiyah
I knew it. I alienated everyone, didn't I?
Mahiyah
I wonder if .. my uncle also felt alienated
Jungkook
I'm not him, so I don't know
Jungkook
But I do know that revealing a secret to simeone you love comes with a little courage and a lot of fear. That's something Soobin said once
Jungkook
And since he thinks that way, I'm sure you hurt him by how unaccepting you were
Mahiyah
*He's absolutely right. His secret was so dark that he couldn't tell his family, even though it's my job as his family to love and accept him no matter what*
Mahiyah
*Okay, this time I won't run. Because he's my family, I'm going to do my best to listen to his secret until the end*
Mahiyah
*I'm not sure either I'll understand it or not but I'm not going to run away from it*
I take in a deep breath as I enter his hospital room again
The collective stares of the men in the room threatens to crush me into a puddle of shame, but the look of genuine relief on my uncle's face gives me the courage to stay
Mahiyah
I'm sorry about how I acted earlier
Soobin
No, don't apologise
Soobin
I was wrong to keep that secret from you for so long
Mahiyah
No, it's not your fault. I selfishly ran outside without hearing your side properly so I should be the one apologising
Mahiyah
But I know it will be difficult for me to understand why you do what you do
Soobin
Didn't I say something to you before .. a long time ago?
Soobin
Your life belongs to no one but you.
Soobin
I've my own values, too.
Soobin
I'm not asking you to understand it, but I'm hoping that you'll support me
Soobin
This doesn't need to happen overnight, either. Just try and understand different perspectives little by little
Mahiyah
Different perspectives?
Soobin
Trust me, my world is nothing like what you imagine it
Soobin
"Boy For Rent" has the power to heal broken hearts
Mahiyah
but how can i understand from a different perspective?
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