9. I PLAY PINOCHLE WITH A HORSE
I had weird dreams full of barnyard animals. Most of them wanted to kill me.
The rest wanted food.
I must’ve woken up several times, but what I heard and saw made no sense, so
I just passed out again. I remember lying in a soft bed, being spoon-fed something
that tasted like buttered popcorn, only it was pudding. The girl with curly blond hair
hovered over me, smirking as she scraped drips off my chin with the spoon.
When she saw my eyes open, she asked, “What will happen at the summer
solstice?”
I managed to croak, “What?”
She looked around, as if afraid someone would overhear. “What’s going on?
What was stolen? We’ve only got a few weeks!”
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, “I don’t...”
Somebody knocked on the door, and the girl quickly filled my mouth with
pudding.
The next time I woke up, the girl was gone.
A husky blond dude, like a surfer, stood in the corner of the bedroom keeping
watch over me.
He had blue eyes— at least a dozen of them—on his cheeks, his forehead, the
backs of his hands.
* * *
When I finally came around for good, there was nothing weird about my
surroundings, except that they were nicer than I was used to. I was sitting in a deck
chair on a huge porch, gazing across a meadow at green hills in the distance. The
breeze smelled like strawberries. There was a blanket over my legs, a pillow behind
my neck. All that was great, but my mouth felt like a scorpion had been using it for a
nest. My tongue was dry and nasty and every one of my teeth hurt.
On the table next to me was a tall drink. It looked like iced apple juice, with a
green straw and a paper parasol stuck through a maraschino cherry.
My hand was so weak I almost dropped the glass once I got my fingers around
it.
“Careful,” a familiar voice said.
Grover was leaning against the porch railing, looking like he hadn’t slept in a
week. Under one arm, he cradled a shoe box. He was wearing blue jeans, Converse
hi-tops and a bright orange T-shirt that said CAMP HALF-BLOOD. Just plain old
Grover, Not the goat boy.
So maybe I’d had a nightmare. Maybe my mom was okay. We were still on
vacation, and we’d stopped here at this big house for some reason. And ...
“You saved my life,” Grover said. “I... well, the least I could do ... I went back
to the hill. I thought you might want this.”
Reverently, he placed the shoe box in my lap.
Inside was a black-and-white bull’s horn, the base jagged from being broken
off, the tip splattered with dried blood. It hadn’t been a nightmare.
“The Minotaur,” I said.
“Urn, Percy, it isn’t a good idea—”
“That’s what they call him in the Greek myths, isn’t it?” I demanded. “The
Minotaur. Half man, half bull.”
Grover shifted uncomfortably. “You’ve been out for two days. How much do
you remember?”
“My mom. Is she really ...”
He looked down.
I stared across the meadow. There were groves of trees, a winding stream,
acres of strawberries spread out under the blue sky. The valley was surrounded by
rolling hills, and the tallest one, directly in front of us, was the one with the huge pine
tree on top. Even that looked beautiful in the sunlight.
My mother was gone. The whole world should be black and cold. Nothing
should look beautiful.
“I’m sorry,” Grover sniffled. “I’m a failure. I’m—I’m the worst satyr in the
world.”
He moaned, stomping his foot so hard it came off. I mean, the Converse hi-top
came off. The inside was filled with Styrofoam, except for a hoof-shaped hole.
“Oh, Styx!” he mumbled.
Thunder rolled across the clear sky.
As he struggled to get his hoof back in the fake foot, I thought, Well, that
settles it.
Grover was a satyr. I was ready to bet that if I shaved his curly brown hair, I’d
find tiny horns on his head. But I was too miserable to care that satyrs existed, or
even minotaurs. All that meant was my mom really had been squeezed into
nothingness, dissolved into yellow light.
I was alone. An orphan. I would have to live with ... Smelly Gabe? No. That
would never happen. I would live on the streets first. I would pretend I was seventeen
and join the army. I’d do something.
Grover was still sniffling. The poor kid—poor goat, satyr, whatever—looked
as if he expected to be hit.
I said, “It wasn’t your fault.”
“Yes, it was. I was supposed to protect you.”
“Did my mother ask you to protect me?”
“No. But that’s my job. I’m a keeper. At least... I was.”
“But why ...” I suddenly felt dizzy, my vision swimming.
“Don’t strain yourself,” Grover said. “Here.” He helped me hold my glass and
put the straw to my lips.
I recoiled at the taste, because I was expecting apple juice. It wasn’t that at all.
It was chocolate-chip cookies. Liquid cookies. And not just any cookies—my mom’s
homemade blue chocolate-chip cookies, buttery and hot, with the chips still melting.
Drinking it, my whole body felt warm and good, full of energy. My grief didn’t go
away, but I felt as if my mom had just brushed her hand against my cheek, given me
a cookie the way she used to when I was small, and told me everything was going to
be okay.
Before I knew it, I’d drained the glass. I stared into it, sure I’d just had a warm
drink, but the ice cubes hadn’t even melted.
“Was it good?” Grover asked.
I nodded.
“What did it taste like?” He sounded so wistful, I felt guilty.
“Sorry,” I said. “I should’ve let you taste.”
His eyes got wide. “No! That’s not what I meant. I just... wondered.”
“Chocolate-chip cookies,” I said. “My mom’s. Homemade.”
He sighed. “And how do you feel?”
“Like I could throw Nancy Bobofit a hundred yards.”
“That’s good,” he said. “That’s good. I don’t think you could risk drinking any
more of that stuff”
“What do you mean?”
He took the empty glass from me gingerly, as if it were dynamite, and set it
back on the table.
“Come on. Chiron and Mr. D are waiting.”
The porch wrapped all the way around the farmhouse.
My legs felt wobbly, trying to walk that far. Grover offered to carry the
Minotaur horn, but I held on to it. I’d paid for that souvenir the hard way. I wasn’t
going to let it go.
As we came around the opposite end of the house, I caught my breath.
We must’ve been on the north shore of Long Island, because on this side of the
house, the valley marched all the way up to the water, which glittered about a mile in
the distance. Between here and there, I simply couldn’t process everything I was
seeing. The landscape was dotted with buildings that looked like ancient Greek
architecture—an open-air pavilion, an amphitheater, a circular arena—except that
they all looked brand new, their white marble columns sparkling in the sun. In a
nearby sandpit, a dozen high school-age kids and satyrs played volleyball. Canoes
glided across a small lake. Kids in bright orange T-shirts like Grover’s were chasing
each other around a cluster of cabins nestled in the woods. Some shot targets at an
archery range. Others rode horses down a wooded trail, and, unless I was
hallucinating, some of their horses had wings.
Down at the end of the porch, two men sat across from each other at a card
table. The blond-haired girl who’d spoon-fed me popcorn-flavored pudding was
leaning on the porch rail next to them.
The man facing me was small, but porky. He had a red nose, big watery eyes,
and curly hair so black it was almost purple. He looked like those paintings of baby
angels— what do you call them, hubbubs? No, cherubs. That’s it. He looked like a
cherub who’d turned middle-aged in a trailer park. He wore a tiger-pattern Hawaiian
shirt, and he would’ve fit right in at one of Gabe’s poker parties, except I got the
feeling this guy could’ve out-gambled even my stepfather.
“That’s Mr. D,” Grover murmured to me. “He’s the camp director. Be polite.
The girl, that’s Annabeth Chase. She’s just a camper, but she’s been here longer than
just about anybody. And you already know Chiron... .”
He pointed at the guy whose back was to me.
First, I realized he was sitting in the wheelchair. Then I recognized the tweed
jacket, the thinning brown hair, the scraggly beard.
“Mr. Brunner!” I cried.
The Latin teacher turned and smiled at me. His eyes had that mischievous glint
they sometimes got in class when he pulled a pop quiz and made all the multiple
choice answers B.
“Ah, good, Percy,” he said. “Now we have four for pinochle.”
He offered me a chair to the right of Mr. D, who looked at me with bloodshot
eyes and heaved a great sigh. “Oh, I suppose I must say it. Welcome to Camp Half-
Blood. There. Now, don’t expect me to be glad to see you.”
“Uh, thanks.” I scooted a little farther away from him because, if there was one
thing I had learned from living with Gabe, it was how to tell when an adult has been
hitting the happy juice.
If Mr. D was a stranger to alcohol, I was a satyr.
“Annabeth?” Mr. Brunner called to the blond girl.
She came forward and Mr. Brunner introduced us. “This young lady nursed
you back to health, Percy. Annabeth, my dear, why don’t you go check on Percy’s
bunk? We’ll be putting him in cabin eleven for now.”
Annabeth said, “Sure, Chiron.”
She was probably my age, maybe a couple of inches taller, and a whole lot
more athletic looking. With her deep tan and her curly blond hair, she was almost
exactly what I thought a stereotypical California girl would look like, except her eyes ruined the image. They were startling gray, like storm clouds; pretty, but
intimidating, too, as if she were analyzing the best way to take me down in a fight.
She glanced at the minotaur horn in my hands, then back at me. I imagined she
was going to say, You killed a minotaur! or Wow, you’re so awesome! or something
like that.
Instead she said, “You drool when you sleep.”
Then she sprinted off down the lawn, her blond hair flying behind her.
“So,” I said, anxious to change the subject. “You, uh, work here, Mr.
Brunner?”
“Not Mr. Brunner,” the ex—Mr. Brunner said. “I’m afraid that was a
pseudonym. You may call me Chiron.”
“Okay.” Totally confused, I looked at the director. “And Mr. D ... does that
stand for something?”
Mr. D stopped shuffling the cards. He looked at me like I’d just belched
loudly. “Young man, names are powerful things. You don’t just go around using
them for no reason.”
“Oh. Right. Sorry.”
“I must say, Percy,” Chiron-Brunner broke in, “I’m glad to see you alive. It’s
been a long time since I’ve made a house call to a potential camper. I’d hate to think
I’ve wasted my time.”
“House call?”
“My year at Yancy Academy, to instruct you. We have satyrs at most schools,
of course, keeping a lookout. But Grover alerted me as soon as he met you. He
sensed you were something special, so I decided to come upstate. I convinced the
other Latin teacher to ... ah, take a leave of absence.”
I tried to remember the beginning of the school year. It seemed like so long
ago, but I did have a fuzzy memory of there being another Latin teacher my first
week at Yancy. Then, without explanation, he had disappeared and Mr. Brunner had
taken the class.
“You came to Yancy just to teach me?” I asked.
Chiron nodded. “Honestly, I wasn’t sure about you at first. We contacted your
mother, let her know we were keeping an eye on you in case you were ready for
Camp Half-Blood. But you still had so much to learn. Nevertheless, you made it here
alive, and that’s always the first test.”
“Grover,” Mr. D said impatiently, “are you playing or not?”
“Yes, sir!” Grover trembled as he took the fourth chair, though I didn’t know
why he should be so afraid of a pudgy little man in a tiger-print Hawaiian shirt.
“You do know how to play pinochle?” Mr. D eyed me suspiciously.
“I’m afraid not,” I said.
“I’m afraid not, sir,” he said.
“Sir,” I repeated. I was liking the camp director less and less.
“Well,” he told me, “it is, along with gladiator fighting and Pac-Man, one of
the greatest games ever invented by humans. I would expect all civilized young men
to know the rules.”
“I’m sure the boy can learn,” Chiron said.
“Please,” I said, “what is this place? What am I doing here? Mr. Brun—
Chiron—why would you go to Yancy Academy just to teach me?”
Mr. D snorted. “I asked the same question.”
The camp director dealt the cards. Grover flinched every time one landed in
his pile.
Chiron smiled at me sympathetically, the way he used to in Latin class, as if to
let me know that no matter what my average was, I was his star student. He expected
me to have the right answer.
“Percy,” he said. “Did your mother tell you nothing?’
“She said ...” I remembered her sad eyes, looking out over the sea. “She told
me she was afraid to send me here, even though my father had wanted her to. She
said that once I was here, I probably couldn’t leave. She wanted to keep me close to
her.”
“Typical,” Mr. D said. “That’s how they usually get killed. Young man, are
you bidding or not?”
“What?” I asked.
He explained, impatiently, how you bid in pinochle, and so I did.
“I’m afraid there’s too much to tell,” Chiron said. “I’m afraid our usual
orientation film won’t be sufficient.”
“Orientation film?” I asked.
“No,” Chiron decided. “Well, Percy. You know your friend Grover is a satyr.
You know”—
he pointed to the horn in the shoe box—”that you have killed the Minotaur. No
small feat, either, lad. What you may not know is that great powers are at work in
your life. Gods—the forces you call the Greek gods—are very much alive.”
I stared at the others around the table.
I waited for somebody to yell, Not! But all I got was Mr. D yelling, “Oh, a
royal marriage.
Trick! Trick!” He cackled as he tallied up his points.
“Mr. D,” Grover asked timidly, “if you’re not going to eat it, could I have your
Diet Coke can?”
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