Chapter 1: Privileges

Camila POV

The familiar air tickled my senses. I gasped in wonder at the white roads and people of different colour walking in the busy area as if it's my first time again here.

After three long years, I am finally back. Technically, I have lived here for 10 years but it's amazing how just three years of being away would make me realise how much beautiful this country is. Great laws, breath-taking sceneries, good people and of course... f*cking privileges.

While walking through the exclusive boutiques flashily displayed in the central street of Melbourne, I remembered a brief memory ages ago.

"Mum! I want this dress. It's like, really pretty." I said coldly.

My mother looked at me in distress but she still managed to nod and give me a small smile. Well the dress costs around $200. I'm an only child anyway so they should give me anything I wanted to.

"Hmm. Okay we'll buy it. How was school today?" she asked.

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her. School is something that I don't really want to think of. Lots of judgemental people everywhere. I could only try be like popular and pretty girls but I know I could never be them. I don't have blonde hair nor green eyes. Im just average and an immigrant, to top that.

"Tss. Don't ask me and just go buy that." I glared at her.

Her eyebrows scowled but she still opened her purse. I noticed that there's barely even anything left. After she handed $200 to me, there was only $10 and few coins left. Well, she has credit cards anyway.

I hastily took the money and turned my back from her.

"Anak I'm only asking you because when I was in high school, my parents never bothered to ask. I'm only asking you because I care for you. I love you and I hope that you can love me too not just for the money. Even just a little bit Mila." she tearfully said in a thick Filipino accent.

I glanced at her once in awe but since tears kept coming out of her eyes, she walked away from the boutique. I stood there still for a fer seconds before proceeding to still buy the dress I really wanted.

Damn...

I closed my eyes and breathed violently. It's actually a miracle that there's no tears coming out of my eyes despite remembering such a dreadful memory. As much as I want to cry I have gotten used to it so it doesn't really have an effect anymore.

"You alright there, mate?" some stranger asked.

I nodded. It's usual to have people genuinely concerned for you, even if you don't know each other here in Australia. In the Philippines, even though I'm wearing a coat over my strapless black dress, I would most likely get menacing looks, catcalled and get subtly harassed. People there are that disgusting.

"Yeah. Thanks." I answered

He smiled at me and nodded before walking straight ahead with of the busy streets. Realising that he probably asked me because I have been standing outside that boutique for too long, I walked to my direction as well.

I went to the city today to finalise some paper works for the university I'm going to study and it's ridiculous how as an international student, I pay x3 the tuition fee Australian citizens do. My tuition fee is around $32,000, which is roughly more than 1.2 million pesos if converted whilst Aussies only have to pay around $8,000 annually.

The privilege they have is literally like a dream for me. It is ironic how they don't value education as much as Filipinos do and only sees university as an option forever.

Although I am definitely not as privileged as kids born and raised here, I was still pretty lucky years ago. My mum and dad were together, we had free time for each other and of course, I could practically whine and get something I want instantly. Too bad because I wasn't able to realise it sooner.

My parents died being rat poor in our country of slums, not being a permanent resident in Australia or an Australian citizen despite a decade of studying and working there endlessly.

We'll fate isn't that cruel because I have my mother's only sibling, Tita Shaina, who arranged my visa after I finished year 12 in the Philippines. She took me back to Australia and is willing to let me stay with her family.

Thank God I'm f*cking out of that country, honestly.

"We'll, that took you quick." Tita Shaina greeted me while washing the dishes.

She cleans all the time and cooks for fun. It's only understandable since the only thing she does is to pick up and drop off my cousin at school. Her husband works from early morning and doesn't get back until 6pm so she's used to be alone and having too much free time.

Tita Shaina and her husband were very lucky, they managed to be Australian citizens. It's because they're both engineers as well, actually.

"Yeah. I'll start on July, though. Maybe I could start working next week already so I can save up?" I asked.

Tita Shaina removed her gloves and placed them on the sink before she sat next to me.

"Are you sure? You know that your Tito and I already paid for your first semester tuition fee, right? I'm not sure if we can still pay the second semester because there's too much expenses but- " she worriedly said but i cut her off.

"I can do it Tita. There would be lesser hours of work so I would have less income when I start uni. It's alright." I said with re-assuring smile.

She sighed and sipped from her coffee.

"You've only been here for three days so I'm thinking it maybe too fast for you. But the owner is my friend and she said you can start anytime, actually. Do you wanna see your workplace?" she asked.

My eyes instantly gleamed and without any hesitation, I nodded at her.

I am taking BS in Nursing for university. In Australia, it would only take me three years to finish it compared to the Philippines where it would take me four years. That's why when tita Shaina said I can work part-time in a clinic just located in their suburb, I was ecstatic. Its something related to the work I want to have in the future.

After going around for a few minutes, tita Shaina finally found a parking space, we went out of the car and got inside the clinic.

"Velle, is Amy there?" Tita Shaina asked the receptionist.

The receptionist cheerfully smiled at my auntie. She's a Filipina. From my observation, she could probably pass as a half-white kid, or in Filipinos called "mestiza".

"Good afternoon po! Opo, kaso may kausap po sa phone si Ms. Amy." she sweetly responded in fluent Tagalog.

"Okay Velle, then tawagan mo nalang kami?" Tita Shaina said.

The receptionist looked at me before nodding at my auntie.

"Noted po" she answered and smiled at me which made me immediately smile back.

While waiting, my auntie was busy looking through blogs in her phone while I observe everything about the clinic.

"Amy!" my auntie greeted a woman probably in her 40's she has blonde hair, pointed nose and a light brown eyes.

They hugged and kissed each other cheek as greetings.

"Oh Shaina, is this your niece? you two exactly look alike! ganda niya." the owner said.

Even in the past, people say that I looked very much like tita Shaina. Fair skin, doe eyes, red lips, and very black hair... It was a far cry from my mum's tanned skin and slightly flatter features. My dad had quite fair skin but it was not paper white just like what I and tita Shaina have. It's something we got from my maternal grandfather, their dad, who apparently had Spanish and Japanese ancestry.

"Oo, Amy. Siya ang niece ko. She wants to start next week na daw, can she?" Tita asked Amy

The woman chuckled and turned her attention to me. She smiled and held out her hand.

"Of course! Amy Pittari, darling." she introduced herself.

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Camila Cruz po, Ms Pittari." I said before I shooke her hand.

I don't know why she looked amused when I introduced myself. She withdraw her hand first before talking to me again.

"I'll just tour you around next week on your first day, would that be alright?" she asked.

"No worries, Ms. Pittari." I simply said.

She smiled at me before she diverted her attention to Tita Shaina. They chat for a few more minutes, giggling and mostly in Tagalog. It is a wonder to me how someone so foreign knows how to speak Tagalog. Due to my curiosity, I couldn't help but ask Tita while we were in the car.

"Is Ms. Pittari's husband, Filipino, tita? That's why she's so fluent?" I said.

"What? Haha! just from her surname you would know that it's not Filipino, diba. But Amy is actually a half-Filipino." Tita Shaina simply said.

Hmm. well, that is true. A surname like Pittari is a far cry from the usual Filipino surnames that are of Hispanic and Chinese origin. It sounds very Australian for me.

"I just don't know if it's her mother or father that's Filipino. We're good friends with her and her husband. Your tito and I met them during a professional party and they're very good people. Even though Amy's just half, they're the first one around our area to put up a Filipino clinic." Tita Shaina mused.

I don't doubt that, although tito born and raised in the Philippines, was very lucky. He still works as an engineer and is now a manager at a big car company in Australia. To get invited in prestigious parties with other professionals is a normal thing.

"Amy is not a doctor but she and her husband are pharmacists. To help out Filipino doctors and nurses to migrate here, they decided to put up the clinic many years ago. That's why if you noticed, the staff were almost all Filipino." Tita continued.

We chatted a bit more so I could get a glimpse of my future bosses lives and personalities. Ms. Pittari looked nice and sweet but I couldn't help but still feel scared it's my first time to work and as an orphan, I need to be able to stay sane and work well.

Now that I'm 18 years old, I want to act to be able to get my life in a good direction. I know quite well how the world could just f*ck you up unexpectedly, just like when I was barely 15 years old when I moved back to the Philippines.

Being there made me realise that I wasted so many f*cking years of trying to keep up with societies expectations. I was too self-centered and too drowned in anxiety that I did not cherish important things such as spending time with my parents because I was too caught up with what my peers thought of me.

It was too late when I realised that other people's opinions doesn't matter.

It's ridiculous how I acted back then. As much as I would like to justify it because I was a lousy teenager with anxiety, it's just not going to work that way. For the rest of my life, I will carry the burden of the decisions and actions I made when I took privileges for granted...

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