Episode 1

The dust billowed around the resting destruction of the Citadel. It had been Earth’s, no, the galaxy’s last hope. Now it was a wasteland. Days past, and all she smelled was thick bitter smoke. It made her cough and caused her entire body to pulse in pain.

The silence was peaceful but unnerving. This silence Roxanne drank in, allowing it to soak to the depth of her bones. It counteracted the fear and the doubt, giving her a sense of the quiet impact it made. But it also threatened her as each worrying thought emerged inside of her mind. The void of silence filed with her anxieties and leached onto her false hopes. It was that eerie stillness which both poisoned and protected her.

The remnants of the Citadel floated in space but every so often Roxanne eyes opened slightly to look past the wreckage. In the beyond, she glimpsed the shimmer blue waters of her planet. Earth. The reapers lost the war and a small part of her heartbeat with relief.

Every bone in her body ached. Just breathing alone hurt as she tried to will herself to move. Her memories danced before her eyes, blurring the lines of reality and the dream world. Her dreams were confusing but at one point she remembered lounging on a beach with the sun warm against her tan skin. She didn’t want to be awake; she wanted to sleep, to stay asleep. Come on Roxanne, get up. She told herself but she couldn’t move. Death rested on the brink of her mind as her muscles seized up in pain.  But she lived and clung to that reality.

Her hand reached through the rubble but laid it down on the ground. She opened her eyes to notice the wreckage pinned her right arm and leg against the ground, leaving little room to move to a safer location. The ringing sound in her ear echoed painfully as her mind begged her to sleep once more. No, I won’t give in. She reminded herself. It was difficult not to give in to a night of full sleep, but she needed to fight. How long had she even been here? She remembered waking up several times only to crash back out, and she hardly moved from her spot.

Something roared in her ears above as she cringed. Each breath seared with agony in her lungs as she tried to move her hands to push off the rubble on her body. There wasn’t much strength left in her body, only enough for small movements. It proved to be enough to keep her alive, but for how long? She didn’t grasp how much life she had left and sensed her time grew closer. She tried to keep her promise to Garrus, but she didn’t think she was capable of much more. As she tried to shift her body, Roxanne nearly cried out in pain as the stone crush down upon her right leg. Now she remembered why she refused to leave, the stone pinned her leg against the ground.

Roxanne realized why she clung to her dreams. It kept her alive, waiting. Of all the people in the galaxy, she realized her friends would find her. Part of her worried for them though. Did they survive the blast that came from the Citadel? And how did she survive the blast? That question she doubted she would ever find the answer to.

Whatever happened, they would return to find her. Even if she took her last breath alone here, deep down she knew she would never be alone. Her friends would be there to pick her up and return her to where she belonged. And even in the afterlife, she would find them. That part, she didn't fear. Her loyalty and confidence in her friends would never waver.

But she had to fight, and her dreams allowed her to survive. All her nightmares receded as she focused her thoughts on other dreams. Her survival depended upon it. But even her dreams turned into nightmares, the heavy burden of the lost still singing through her dreams.

So much death came from her choices, and even though she reminded herself it was for the good of the world, the one question rested on her thoughts. What about the cost? No matter what advice she received, she still blamed herself for the loses on each planet, from Thessia to Palaven. If she’d been stronger, faster, even more convincing. She questioned herself many times on the decisions she picked last second. Such questions lining with the council to searching harder for proof. Maybe she could have saved one more life. She knew she picked the best decision given to her, but none of these decisions would ever be the right one. Each choice always cost a price, the decision was which one resulted in a better outcome. But was it really worth it? The reminder of the sacrifices she made would always haunt her. She hoped she had done the right thing for the Galaxy. In the end, she wanted the cycle removed so people could live, so that life would continue its circle of life.

But she also didn’t want them to come, they dealt with enough danger for a lifetime. Were the reapers even defeated or did something deceive her? This is what the silence did, it made her question herself. Part of her believed this was a haunting prison much like Leviathan had almost stuck her in, leaving her alone for all eternity. But if this reality truly existed, her desire to ensure the safety of her comrades came first. No matter how much she wanted to live, she would not want her life to cost the lives of others. There was no point saving her if her friends died in the process. That suffering was something they didn’t need on their shoulders.

“Span out, we aren’t leaving. If anyone could survive this, it’s Lola.” A voice echoed in her ear. She jumped back to consciousness, nearly missing their words. She tried to remember who it was. But the crushing pain against her skull taunted her with a migraine from hell. It sounded familiar though, like an old friend she refused to forget.

“But what if she isn’t here?” The raspy voice of another she remembered caught her attention. The fluid sound of the silvery voice held doubt, human, she knew. She tried to figure out who it belonged to but the pressure against her skull throbbed with fire. Their voices came from a distance and she could hardly move. Roxanne tried to speak out but the dryness in her throat cause her voice to crack. A thousand tiny needles pressed into her chest but she refuses to let that dictate if she grabbed their attention or not.

“She’s here, and she’s alive. She has to be, she promised me and she would never break that.” That voice. It was a voice she would never forget. Such confidence brimmed from his voice that brought life into her heart and gave her a second wind. Heaven or hell, she would always remember. She wanted to call out to him but her voice was barely functional. “Ga–” The amount of effort to speak sparked pain against her chest and she cringed in pain.

With her one useful arm, she reached over to find anything to use. Her eyes slit open just enough to glance around as the darkness dared to drag her back underneath its blankets. Her fingers slipped around her dog tags and a small smirk crossed her lips. With what little strength she had she hit them against the rubble. Clink clink clink. She couldn’t hear anything or a response which left her throat tightening up as she tried again.

Each time she hit the stone, she paused to listen for any indication they heard her. However, silence came to her ear and she started to hit her tags harder. The intensity of her tags hitting the rocks rang louder with angry desperation. with her signal unanswered only made her determination beam from her willpower.

The clicking of her tags continued for minutes on end. Whatever the timeframe, she fought against the pain and make the tapping. This Citadel was a huge location to search, and she knew they would search day and night if they had to. Liara searched the entire galaxy for her body once before. Even in death, they would find her, they were a team.

“Wait, did you catch that?” A voice spoke up as Roxanne realized they caught the sound of her signal. Immediately, she clicked the SOS once more with distress. She continued to hit so hard that she felt the warmth of the blood running from the cuts as she broke the skin open.

“I think it’s coming from over there.” These voices blended together, and she found it difficult to register each voice to the name. At least it gave her something to focus on, to stay awake. But one thing was clear; they belonged to her comrades. The rumble against the ground caused her to groan as she kept hitting the tags against the rubbing.

“She’s here! Right here!” At that moment she sensed a hand grab hers that held her dog tags just as she was about to hit them against the rubble again. “Roxanne, don’t you let go, we got you.” His smooth voice reminded her of the rain, cool and comforting. She opened her eyes to see the familiar face. The sharp details of sapphire glowing eyes and the navy blue war painted over his face. She knew it by heart. Even through the blurry vision, she always remembered his face.

“I have the stone, hold on.” The soft feminine voice spoke as she lifted the rubble off of Roxanne. Roxanne cringed at the rush of pain into her body but endured the agony that reminded her she still lived. She forced her teeth so tightly together and her hand crushed against Garrus’. But she wouldn’t cry out, she didn’t want to do that now that life touched her fingertips. “We need to get her medical attention immediately. Joker, do you copy?” She never doubted they would find her, but she feared the danger. Liara’s voice rang against her ear as she requested for Joker as she finally registered it.

“Dammit Shepard, you can’t scare me like that! Don’t you dare let go.” Roxanne refused to let go of his hand as he reached around and pulled her into his arms. The comfort of being in his embrace soothed her soul.

“Garrus…” Her voice cracked as she leaned against him. She needed to talk, but something was crushing against her chest causing her pain.

“Shh, rest, We’re taking you home.” He whispered as she let the weight fall off her shoulders. Her one good hand reached over to grab his armor. It was cold to the touch, but natural unlike the rubble that had been her burial grounds for days now. She tried to grab it but her hands were too weak to even hold her tags much less the armor. But whatever strength she had left she grabbed it with thorough resolve like a last lifeline. Her eyes glassed over as relief washed over her but a single feeling lingered against her thoughts.

Fear.

If she let go, what if she didn’t come back? Her heart raced as she clung to him harder. Something inside of her panicked, and she wasn’t use to it. With wide eyes she stared at him as the tug of sleep pulled on her.

“Help,” She whispered, not caring about looks or strength. Garrus held her in his arms as the roar of the engine came around drowning out her ears.

“I have you. I won’t let anything happen to you.” That rich voice, the tenacity in his eyes, it calmed her nerves. She did her best to keep her eyes from fluttering shut, losing focus as the crew rushed her on board. But there was little holding her there. The exhaustion washed over her body as she finally let herself go. She fought this long enough and with the trust she held in them, she let go of her fear and allowed herself to fall into the dark abyss of her dreams.

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