What to do

Present

He couldn’t.

He didn’t.

I felt so ashamed.

How could I fall in love with my best friend’s love?!

If they weren’t together, heck, if they were just dating, it would be a little less horrible. But of course, I had to realize my feelings just when the two were getting married.

Naturally I knew that I couldn’t pursue Kaitlyn.

Yet when I see the two of them together it twisted my heart.

When had my feelings for Kaitlyn grown so strong?

I didn’t know, but I knew I was in love...

I tried I really tried.

Kaitlyn was Monty’s secretary. And as the CEO of Smile I saw them every single day.

It was excruciating.

The way Monty would smile at her and the way she smiled back.

How their fingers laced together and their excitement when working together.

And by the end of the day I would look into her eyes searching for something, anything, and find nothing.

I returned her gaze with my own, impersonal and cold.

And when I was with Monty all I could feel was guilt.

I felt terrible, laughing by his side and being happy, when I knew about the feelings I harbor.

...

“Kaitlyn will you marry me?!”

I could hear my own voice, low and hopeful. Yet in my heart I felt empty and sad.

Her yellow eyes lit up and her cheeks flushed, yet I felt nothing.

She jumped into my arms, which were already out stretched and waiting.

I expected to feel her warm body against mine, but instead, I felt cold.

A heavy weight laid in my head and made my eyes hurt.

Then I saw him.

Monty stood there watching, and I could hear his heart cracking bit by bit.

Then he shattered into a million pieces.

And I awoke...

I abruptly sat up, trembling. I could smell my sweat. My hair, my arms, my hands all smelled sour, they all smelled of sweat.

I knew.

I knew.

I knew.

I knew what would happen if I did.

But if I didn’t...

What do I do?

...

“Hey, Monty.”

He looked at me.

“Yes.”

He was still smoky and happy and cheerful, which were all, no doubt, due to love.

I swallowed.

“Um...Monty, about Kaitlyn, I...”

Monty was still smiling like an idiot, and he didn’t have a clue about what I was going to say to him.

I couldn’t.

I can’t.

I wouldn’t  wipe that smile off his face.

“...was wondering how the wedding planning was coming along.” All fake and plastic.

Monty didn’t notice.

He beamed.

And right then, I knew that I didn’t care about making the right choice or the wrong one, all I could think of is that I made Monty smile, and I made him happy and that was all that mattered.

I would smother my feelings for Kaitlyn, I had to. Because for all of her beauty and intelligence and kindness, I knew Monty deserved her more than I ever could.

She was happy with Monty. Monty was happy with her.

So I would be happy too.

***Download NovelToon to enjoy a better reading experience!***