Any Way I Can - Part 1

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst

"In which he keeps breaking your heart but you don’t care because you love him"

*******

“So… are you going to tell him?”

“I…” You sigh, wiping your sweaty palms along your thighs, “I don’t know yet, Y/best friend’s/n.”

“Can I share my opinion?” She asks, and you roll your eyes, responding with, “I already know your opinion.”

“Then you also know my reasons,” She crosses her arms, then sighs as she makes her way to sit next to you. “Or do you want me to share that instead?” You stay silent, so she takes it as an opportunity to continue. 

“Let’s consider how he’s neglected you…”

You woke up, a sudden rush of excitement flooding over you when you remembered what today was. You stretched and even let out a cheeky yawn to cover up the smile forming on your lips. Your hands lowered from raising it above your head and that’s when you noticed the empty side of the bed. Your smile was replaced with a blank frown, confused as to where your beloved boyfriend could have possibly gone. You gather that it’s only 6:52AM, which is pretty early for Jungkook to already be up & atom for the day.

You discard it, your brain making up excuses like considering the possibility that he could just be making you breakfast.

You then decided to go wash up and go to the kitchen, but much to your dismay, he’s not in there either. Confusion takes over you again, and you aimlessly wander around the house to try and search for him. You discover that he’s not home, and the fact that one of the cars in the driveway was missing confirmed this. You’re making yourself breakfast as you thought about where he could possibly be. Your brain continues to make excuses for him, believing that he’s probably out planning a surprise party for you, and so you’re clouded by unsubstantial optimism as you made about your day.  

You decide that you’re going to spend this special day at the mall, treating yourself out. You doll yourself up with your high-end makeup and clothes that make you feel rich. When you check your phone, you’re overfilled with joy when you see texts from your loved ones wishing you a happy birthday. You ignored the hurt in your heart when you didn’t see any notification from him, though, clouding your mind to believe that he probably wants to greet you in person rather than over text message.

As you were shopping in the mall, arms already holding multiple bags of clothes, makeup, and whatnot, you notice a familiar figure in your field of vision. It’s Jungkook, you realize, and he’s wearing his average disguise he uses when he wants to go out in public without the paparazzi seeing him. You decide to watch him from afar, curiosity taking over you and wanted to stalk him to see what he’s doing. He doesn’t know you’re here, and you weren’t supposed to know he’s here either. You couldn’t help but smile sheepishly as you continued to follow him around, but that smile turned upside down when you witnessed him meet up with another girl. This sudden feeling of insecurity and confusion washed over you as you watched closely at how he interacted with her.

Jungkook had his arm around a girl that isn’t you, and your heart panged at the sight of it. “I trust him, I trust him, I trust him,” You kept repeating in your head. You knew him better than for him to cheat on you. “He loves me, he loves me, he loves me,” You began saying, but it was just to convince yourself rather than remind you.

Hours have passed, and now you’re back home. You were still bothered by what you had seen a while ago at the mall. It’s the evening now and Jungkook still isn’t home. Despite the doubt eating away at your conscious, you convince yourself that he’s probably planning to treat you out to a lovely dinner date.

It’s 10:37PM and you’re still waiting for him to arrive home. You’re beginning to fidget a lot; you can’t sit down without bouncing your leg and you can’t stand up without pacing back & forth. You’ve already texted the boys asking about your beloved boyfriend’s whereabouts but they still haven’t answered back yet. Your stomach growls, making you debate whether or not to continue starving yourself to save an appetite for when Jungkook treats you out to this late night dinner or to cheat yourself into a little snack.

Out of the pure silence, you hear the lock of the front door jiggle and that’s how you know Jungkook is finally home. You stand up from sitting on the couch in the living room and await for his presence to greet you. He kicks his shoes off lazy and places them on the side, not bothering to say a word even with your presence. You wait patiently, understanding that he must be tired from a long day. He finally acknowledges your presence, stopping in his tracks and you might be imagining things, but you think he rolls his eyes at you. You’re a little taken aback, feeling this overwhelming urge to crawl back into your shell.

Jungkook forces a sly smile on his face before walking up to you, greeting you a happy birthday, and kissing your forehead. Then he trudges upstairs.

“That’s it?” You ask to yourself in your head, feeling that all this waiting and effort in defending him was all for nothing.

Your stomach growls, reminding you that you still haven’t eaten dinner. You sigh, deciding to go over to the kitchen and fix yourself a snack; you were hungry, yes, but your mood is ruined. So you take out the small cake you bought exclusively for the two of you, light up one candle, made a hopeless wish, and blew out the flame.

“-and don’t forget that time he’s forgotten about you…”

“Reservation for Y/n, please.” You inform the head waitress.

“Ah, yes, table for two, right?” The girl asks for confirmation as she gets out two menus.

You nod in response and she leads you off to a small table. You tell the girl that your date will be coming later and you request for water, in which she humbly obliges to.

You must’ve read over the menu over 10 times before realizing that Jungkook is late. You text him a couple times, but those messages have yet to be read. The waitress keeps coming over and asking if you would like the second plate to be taken away, but you keep insisting that he’s coming. You even refuse to order any appetizers, wanting to wait for him to eat together; and you continue ordering glasses of water.

Now it’s about 45 minutes until the restaurant closes, and you’re still waiting for him. This feeling of numbness washed over you as you stared off at the window. The waitress doesn’t come around anymore, and you assume it’s because her shift ended an hour ago but you don’t care; you were too busy believing that he’ll come, that he’s not one to stand you up on a date night to realize how long you’ve been sitting at this damn table You watched as other tables come & go, and ignored the stares you were getting as people started to notice that you’re still waiting.

Suddenly, for the first time since you’ve arrived at the restaurant, your phone chimes. Immediately, you check the notification, and you’re relieved when you see it’s a text from Jungkook.

“Where are you? I come home, you’re not here, and there’s no dinner.”

Your heart dropped at reading that text. “Where am I?” You repeat in a low voice. “Where is he?” You ask, and that’s when you put the pieces together that this date slipped out of his mind. 

Without even blinking, tears started to form at the brim of your eyes. You call over the new waiter taking care of your table and tell him that you were going to leave now. Shuffling through your bag, you pull out your wallet and give him a tip even though he hasn’t served you. Though confused, he accepts it and wishes you a good night.

When you arrived home, you put the takeout that you’ve bought on the kitchen table. You inform Jungkook in a monotonous voice (that he doesn’t care to catch) that there’s food in the kitchen, in which he goes off to help himself to. You, on the other hand, weren’t in the mood to eat anymore so you go straight to bed, and cry yourself to sleep.

“-and… what else has he done?” Your best friend trails off and starts to think.

Without thinking, you blurt out in a whisper, “He’s also cheated on me.”

Your best friend looks at you in bewilderment. Unsettlingly, you glance over at her, and you weren’t surprised to see that her eyebrows are furrowed with a concerned look on her face. “…What?” She dares to further question in a soft tone, scared of the explanation that is yet to come from your mouth. “Yeah…” You sigh…

Prior to this moment, you told Jungkook that you would be coming home late tonight; after work, you planned to go visit your parents on the other side of town, which would be a long drive. Jungkook took your absence to his advantage; He made plans immediately after you informed him, but things didn’t go your way after work, for you were held back for an extra shift so your parents preferred if you took the rest of the night to settle back at your house and  come over to visit them the next day.

You decide to inform Jungkook of this change of plans when you actually come home. Knowing him, he was probably out at the studios or he could be lounging around. Coming home to a quiet house was oddly suspicious, though, but you brush it off because then again, he could be out at the studios with the rest of his band. Your first instinct was to go straight to bed and sleep. As you were trudging down the hallway to your shared bedroom, muffled sounds coming from two people could be heard. Each step closer to your room made the noises even louder. Now cautious, you carefully make your way up to the door.

Your first thought was that your house has been broken into and entered, but thinking back to your front door, you realize that there were no signs of forced entry. Confused, you gather that there are two people in your room, and you realize that one voice was of a male and the other was of a female. You then press your ear against the surface of the door, thinking that you could probably try to connect the familiarity of the voices with faces.

“The voices sound so lewd…” You think to yourself, and you realize that they’re sexual moans. You press your ear more firmly on the door to concentrate on the voices even more, and your eyes widen in revelation when you conclude that it’s Jungkook in the room, with another woman.

Ever so slowly, you open up the door and peek your eye through the slightest opening you’ve made, just so that you can test your conclusions. Much to your dismay, your suspicions were proven true. 

There was a ***** Jungkook on top of another woman in your bed.

You had to cover your mouth with your hand so that they wouldn’t hear your gasp. With the same carefulness used to open the door, you closed it. With the tips of your toes, you scurried down the hallway and out of the house, shutting the front door quietly and not letting your overwhelming emotions take over you to slam it. You realize that you didn’t even put on shoes but you didn’t care. You ran off back to your car, where you sat in the driver’s seat, released your hand from covering up your cries, and sobbed your heart out.

“Fucking hell, Y/n! Why didn’t you tell me?” Your best friend scolds you, and you wince in response. “That’s a code red! A fucking red flag! Not only has he neglected you, forgotten about you, but he’s also cheated on you! Why the hell are you still with him when he treats you like shit?”

“Because…” You whisper, but you pause because you know Y/best friend’s/n is going to get mad at you, but you say it anyway. “I love him.”

“Oh my…” Your best friend grumbles, standing up and rubbing her temples. You bite your lip to hold back the tears threatening to form from this pressure. The silence lingers and the tension grows heavy. You bow your head down to look at your lap but you look at your best friend through your eyelashes as she walks over to the window to look over at the view for a moment. She rolls her jaw and shakes her head a little, but once she turns around to walk back to you, you avert your eyes back to your lap.

You resume looking at her when she kneels in front of you, taking your hand in hers and her vibe of a caring one. “Leave him, Y/n.” She advises you, and you bite your lip even harder. “I’ll buy an extra plane ticket for you to come back to our hometown tonight, with me.” She suggests, and you don’t know what to think.

She understands your silence and continues, “The flight is at 10:30PM, okay? You have from now until then to think about your decision. If you do decide to come, then bag check-ins are at 9PM, but if you don’t show up then I understand.”

You nod your head, but it was mostly just to fight off the tears. Your best friend sighs before getting up to leave. “I’m going to go now, I gotta flight to prepare for and you have a decision to make.”

You sat still as you heard her leave your house, but once you heard her car engine turn on and leave out into the street, the tears that you were holding back slipped down your cheeks and you laid back in your bed. This conversation was too much for you, so you decide to sleep off these emotions and decide when you wake up.

The problem was that you couldn’t bring yourself to sleep. Sure, you were able to get some shut-eye to discard these emotions, but that left you to think about your best friend’s offer. You look over at the clock and see that it’s 4:38PM, and you calculate that you have a good 4 hours to pack up and still have time to call an Uber to drive you to the airport. You bite your lip again as you stared at the clock to think about this.

“If he’s willing to neglect, forget, and even cheat on me, will he also do it to…” You begin, but you couldn’t even bear to finish the thought.

You love him, you want to stay with him, even through all this pain he’s bringing you, and you know it’s selfish, so you think about the opposite side of the spectrum. You already gathered the pros & cons of staying, so you compare it to the pros & cons of leaving. That’s when you’ve come to the conclusion to be selfless, just this once, for the both of you. You’ve come to face the fact that Jungkook doesn’t even love you anyways.

…

You finished packing up all your belongings just in time to order an Uber and go off to the airport. As you bring your luggage down to the front door, you realize that you can’t just leave Jungkook without an explanation, so you hurry back up to the bedroom. You put the secret that you told Y/best friend’s/n in a box, with a post-it containing two words, and you place it on the bed.

In a scurry, you meet up at the destination of your designated Uber driver, and after you settled all your stuff in the trunk of the car & sit in the back seat, you kept your eyes steady on the house as you left.

It’s about 9:15PM when you arrive at the airport, and you were in a hurry to go and meet up with Y/best friend’s/n and still have time to check in your luggage. While wandering around, you notice your best friend sitting with her leg bouncing impatiently and her phone in her hands. She must’ve been waiting for you to text her your decision, you conclude, but she noticed you make your way up to her and she smiled, delighted that you’ve chosen to leave rather than stay in your unhealthy relationship with Jungkook. She greets you with a hug, which you accept thankfully.

“So,” Your best friend starts once you two part from the embrace, “What made you finalize your decision?”

You sigh, looking off to the side. “I love him, you know? I’ll take him any way I can, but not like this…” You respond, putting a hand on your stomach. “Not for our child.”

Y/best friend’s/n smiles appreciatively. “I’m proud of you.” She responds, and you smile.

“Now, c’mon,” She beckons, linking her arm in yours. “Let’s go get your stuff checked-in.”

…

Hours after you leave, Jungkook arrives home too, but he isn’t alone. He’s brought another girl home, and he’s more than ready to have some fun in bed with her. He’s too busy planting kisses on this other woman to notice your stuff is missing. Jungkook has this woman’s legs around his waist as he carries her upstairs, and not once has their lips ever parted away from each other. He secures one arm around the woman’s waist so that he can use his other hand to open up the door to the bedroom.

“Ouch!” The girl yelped once Jungkook put her on the bed. She puts her hand behind her back and pulls out the box you left. She looks at him in confusion. “What the ****?” She comments as she gives the object to him.

Jungkook was about to discard the box, but your post-it with your handwriting of, “I’m sorry” caught his attention. He’s got a bad feeling about this, so he kicks the girl out of his house.

“What?” The girl asks, obviously hurt.

“You heard me,” He snaps, “Get out.”

With a huff, the girl collects herself and exits the room. Jungkook could care less about her attitude right now; he’s too focused on finding out what could possibly be in the box to deal with her. After he catches the front door slam shut, he opens up the lid, and he’s shocked to see a pregnancy test in there. His eyes scan the room and that’s when he notices your belongings are missing. Then his eyes go back to your apology note, and he throws the pregnancy test at the wall.

”Damn it,” Jungkook couldn’t help but curse. ”God fucking damn it…”

*****

Author : ****Yna**** / Am I the queen of angst yet?

All credits go to her for this amazing Imagine (~°°)~

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