Chapter Four

Waiting Game

    Blake stood under the shower head, letting the pounding of the water take some of the tenseness of the day away. It hadn’t been a good day for Blake. He and Sam had had to testify on one of the cases they had closed, which thankfully had ended in the best way. Hopefully the trial would end in the best way too.

    After that they had visited Everett Snow who had updated them on the Richard Daniels case. He had told them that he was pretty sure that with the evidence Sam and Blake had collected and the evidence Everett and his team had collected they had an air tight case against him.

    Blake still couldn’t get over the fact that Daniels had murdered his own daughter. What bothered Blake was that he hadn’t for one second thought Daniels had done anything. All the grieving signs were ones Blake was familiar with.

    He’d gone through them firsthand.

                        ***********************

    Blake took the phone handed to him and held it to his ear. “Blake Fitzgerald.” he said.

    “Blake, you need to come home. NOW!” the voice on the other end of the line said urgently.

    “Lindsey, what’s wrong?”

    “It’s Becky, Blake.”

    Blake’s blood went ice cold. “Becky? Is something wrong with her?” He heard Lindsey seemingly break down on the other end of the line. “Lindsey? Lindsey, talk to me.”

    “I don’t know, Blake. Come home…” she cried into the phone.

    “I’ll be there soon.” he promised, then hung up. He then turned to look at the chief of police. “I need to go home. I…I don’t know what’s wrong, but it has something to do with Becky.”

    Chief Chevalron nodded his head in understanding. “You go find out what is wrong, Fitz. Call us when you find out anything.”

    Blake gave him a thankful look then ran out of the building to his own car. He started the engine and floored it out of the parking lot. He was lucky most of the way home, but as he neared his house the traffic got heavier. He beat his hand against the steering wheel and mashed his fist into the horn a few times. All that accomplished was him getting quite a few one finger salutes.

    Once he reached home he haphazardly parked in the driveway and flew out of the car. He opened the door with so much force it slammed against the wall. Before it was completely closed Lindsey had appeared before him and threw herself into his arms. He comforted her for a moment then pulled back enough to look at her. Her eyes were red-rimmed and tears streamed down her face.

    “Lindsey, what’s wrong?” he asked his wife.

    “It’s Becky.” she answered.

    When no more words were forthcoming he became a little impatient. “What’s wrong with Becky? Where is she?”

    “I don’t know, Blake. She’s not here.”

    “Not here? Why isn’t she here?” he questioned.

    “Natalie was supposed to pick her up and stay with her until I got home. Neither one of them were here when I got home so I called Natalie to see what was going on.” Lindsey took a deep breath before continuing. “She said when she got to the school Becky wasn’t there. So she assumed I had kept Becky home. But…but…then I called you.” she finished.

    Blake looked at Lindsey in disbelief. He couldn’t seem to grasp what she was telling him. He pulled away from her and started pacing. All his training as an officer and here he couldn’t think of what to do. Finally it came back to him.

    “Did you call any of her friends parents?” he asked.

    “No, I didn’t think to.” She said as she burst into tears.

    Blake pulled her into his arms and hugged her tightly. He then kissed her on the forehead. “Get me their numbers and I’ll call them.” he told her.

    Once she had all the numbers for him Blake started calling around hoping to find out anything. Everyone said the same thing that Becky wasn’t there. Their next question was if everything was all right. That was everyone, until he got to the last set of parents he talked to. They told him that their daughter had told them that Becky had gone home with her daddy. Blake felt his heart turn into a block of ice at those words.

    His daughter had been abducted.

    Blake sat in the patrol car, his partner turning to look at him every few seconds. He knew how most of the patrolmen felt about him working. They thought he should be home, waiting, but he couldn’t do that. If he stayed home and waited for someone to call with information he would go crazy.

    Of course he wanted to be on the search for his daughter, but he wasn’t allowed, with good reason. He’d rush headlong where there should be stealth, he’d be worried about Becky and not worry about evidence he might be destroying that could very well help find her. At least being on the job in the capacity he was was helping someone.

    He couldn’t take people’s pity either. When they gave him the standard ‘I’m sure she’ll be found soon’ line he usually either walked away or bit their heads off. His reaction depended on how his day was going.

    It was killing Blake to have to wait for any information. Made all the more harder because there wasn’t much information coming his way. The little girl who had said Becky got in the car thought so because the man had dark hair like Blake did, and she had seen him from a distance. Being only five years old she didn’t know one make of car from another. All she knew was that it was a light blue car. And that was basically all the information they had.

    Nobody had seen anything.

    Blake sat and looked at Lindsey. She looked at him blankly. They had become almost strangers in the month since Becky’s initial disappearance. It hadn’t started that way, they had leaned on each other for support in the beginning, but as Blake had thrown himself into work more and more they had started to grow apart or it at least felt that way. Blake saw Lindsey’s lips moving, but had been lost in his own thoughts and hadn’t heard what she said.

    “I’m sorry, what’d you just say?” he asked.

    Lindsey closed her eyes, then gazed at him with hurt filled eyes. “You blame me.” she said softly.

    Blake sat in stunned silence. “What the hell are you talking about?”

    “You blame me for Becky’s disappearance.”

    “I’ve never once said that.” he pointed out.

    Lindsey pushed her chair back and crossed her arms over her chest. “You don’t have to say it, Blake, you show it.”

    “I show it?”

    “We haven’t slept in the same bed since a week after she went missing.” she informed him.

    Blake stared at her, she had a point there, but that was because he was usually out to all hours of the night. “I don’t want to wake you when I come home.”

    “Maybe I want you to!” she nearly shouted. “We are still married to each other, Blake, in case you’ve forgotten.” She tried to stop the tears from coming but they silently coursed down her cheeks. “Do you think you are the only one who is hurting? That you are the only one who wants our baby back? I love Becky just as much as you do, Blake; if not more.”

    Those last words tore at Blake. Lindsey had carried Becky for nine months. That was a bond he would never be able to share with Becky, no matter what. She was right; he wasn’t the only one suffering. Instead of pushing her away because of the hurt he should be pulling her closer, in hopes that they could somewhat ease each other’s pain.

    Blake stood up and walked to Lindsey. He knelt before her and took her face in his hands. “I’m so sorry, Lindsey. You are right; we should be there for each other instead of me pushing you away. Please forgive me.” he whispered softly.

    Lindsey nodded and they shared a deep kiss, something they hadn’t done since Becky’s disappearance. They then held each other and gave each other comfort as they cried. Blake reached up and wiped the tears from Lindsey’s face, then combed his hands through her hair.

    “I just wish Becky was here.” he whispered, brokenly.

    “So do I, Blake. So do I.” she responded.

    A few days after Blake and Lindsey’s reconciliation a call came over the radio that a body had been found in a local park. Blake and his partner were closest to the scene so they called in that they would go check it out. As they headed to the scene Blake’s normal cop instincts took over, he thought about what they would need to do and things along those lines.

    Once they arrived at the scene they walked to where the dispatcher had said the body had been found. Blake’s eyes narrowed when he saw the feet protruding from a small bush. The feet of the victim were awfully small. As he and his partner finally reached the body Blake felt his whole insides clench. He turned and ran a few feet away to a trash can and vomited.

    It wasn’t the sight of the body that had made him do so, this wasn’t his first body, it was the fact that it was a young boy laying there that had done it. Blake had erroneously assumed they would find an adult victim, instead they had found a child. Once Blake had himself back together he headed back to his partner. His partner looked at him with pity and told him he could wait in the car if he couldn’t handle it. Blake just glared at him in response.

    As they worked, many thoughts went through Blake’s mind. Had this child’s parents suffered like he and Lindsey had? Had the boy been abducted or had he run away? Either way parents somewhere were going to get the news that you never wanted to hear. They would have to come down to the morgue and identify their child, after having been given the terrible news. Their lives weren’t the same after their son went missing, but he was sure that it was going to be even more different after the got the call.

    It struck Blake that one day he himself might very well get that call.

    Blake sat next to Lindsey on the sofa, he held her hand in his and squeezed it every once in a while. Over dinner he had told her about the boy they had found earlier. He had then told her that he had done some thinking and so he was finally going to discuss with her what he had been thinking.

    “I have a couple questions I want to ask you.” He said, by way of starting. Lindsey nodded for him to go on. “Well finding that boy today made me realize I might get the same kind of call his parents did.”

    “Blake, you’ve got to think positive…”

    “Lindsey, do you think I want to think we won’t ever see Becky again? Of course I don’t. I will keep thinking she’s alive and relatively safe until she is found. Time is of the essence though, the more time that passes the less likely…” He left the rest unsaid. He reached over and cupped her cheek in his palm. “Here are my questions for you. Do you want to be notified when Becky is found?” Lindsey started nodding her head even though Blake wasn’t finished. “I mean the worst case scenario.” Lindsey still nodded her head. “Okay. This is my other question or questions then I guess. Should the worst case scenario happen do you want me to identify her? I can’t spare you the fact of it happening, but I can spare you the pain of seeing her traumatized. You should remember her the way she was.”

    Lindsey looked at him with stricken eyes. “You are talking like it already happened!”

    Blake shook his head as if to deny any of it had happened. “No, no!! I just want to spare you having to see her like that if it comes to that.” he whispered.

    Lindsey was silent for a moment. She then looked Blake straight in the eye. “Thank you, Blake. I…I don’t think I could handle that.” She told him honestly.

    Blake wasn’t so sure he could either, but that was a bridge best crossed when gotten to.

                                **********************

    Blake got out of the shower and dried off. He got dressed then went to the living room and sat on the sofa. The beer that he had gotten out before getting into the shower was now lukewarm, but Blake didn’t really care. He picked the bottle up and took a few swigs.

    Right at that moment he wanted to smash his fist into Richard Daniels’ face. It might not have made things easier for Everett, but Blake would’ve felt a whole hell of a lot better. Blake knew though that he wouldn’t be happy with just one punch. It wasn’t worth risking justice being done for a few moments of satisfaction.

    Blake tried to shake off the memories Daniels had brought up in him, but they were being quite tenacious this night. A couple beers might get them out of his wakeful thoughts, however. Blake knew from experience that it only brought them out all the more in his sleeping thoughts. Many times he had woken from a drunken nightmare, the only difference with Blake’s was that the nightmare was real. Or at least it had been in the past.

    If he could learn to leave the past where it belonged he might be a happier man, but sometimes that was easier said than done.

    Blake finished the beer in front of him then took the empty bottle out to the kitchen where he deposited it in the recycling bin. He opened the fridge and looked in at the other bottles just sitting there waiting to be drunk. He started reaching for one, but decided against it. He wasn’t so sure he’d be able to stop after two and seeing as how he had work the next day it wouldn’t do to go in with a hangover.

    Blake headed back to the bedroom and plopped down on the bed, memories his only company.

                               **********************

    Blake stood in the doorway of his daughter’s room. He looked at all the stuffed animals and dolls scattered on her bed. He walked in and picked her favorite stuffed animal up, holding it close to his chest. He then lay down on her bed and curled up as tight as he could.

    Memories of him bringing her and Lindsey home from the hospital played through his mind, quickly followed by memories of every year of her growing up. All those memories led up to the memory of the day just about two months ago when she had kissed him good-bye as he headed out to work.

    Her last words to him had been, “I love you, daddy.”

    Blake started sobbing as that memory played through his mind. No matter how much he tried to stay positive and think positively that Becky would make it back to them safely; something told him it wasn’t going to happen that way. True some kids were abducted and years later turned up alive and reasonably healthy. Blake just didn’t think that was going to happen, at least in the farthest part of his brain.

    The waiting was the worst part. Every time the phone rang he and Lindsey wondered if it would be someone with news on the other end of the line. Most times it was someone offering them condolences or support. Sometimes they took it, some days they just felt they had no more strength to go on like they were.

    Blake had been waiting for the phone to ring with someone on the other end having information to get Becky back quickly; at least he had in the beginning. As he lay on Becky’s bed among her things he knew he was waiting for something else now.

    He was waiting for HIS CALL.

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