chapter 1 trueself

Ji Ah POV :

[ I am sad, hurt, angry, mad and dissapointed. But you know what?I'll put on a fake smile and move on. It will hurt but atleast I will survive. it has been my favorite thing to do all this years because atleast it hide my pain. And it's so funny that everyone is fooled by my pretty fake smile and they are even jealous of it. Im Lee Ji Ah top student of Hanguk university. It is one of the top university of the city only rich people go there because normal people can't afford it. Wait! You must think that I'm from a rich family but that's not true I am from poor family. I got into this university because of scholarships. I have never been proud of myself except for my studies. I am really proud of it. People thinks that I am the happiest girl in this world. They thinks that I don't have any problem in my life, my heart doesn't hurt. People adore me. Many students in my university even take s me as their role model. But will they still adore me after knowing my trueself? Why am I even asking this when I know the answer? No they won't like me after knowing my trueself instead they will pity me which I hate the most. no one sees the pain behind my smile, they only sees a happy girl who always smile have doesn't any pain in her heart. To the outside world I live a happy life. But as soon as I enter into my house my true life begins there. My smile fades away and finally my tired mouth which gets tired after wearing a fake smile all day can take a rest. I live with my dad mom and brother. My dad loves me the most. He mostly stays outside because of his work. My mom is a drunkard. She always get drunk and gives us pain. But I know she loves me. I love her too but nowadays my love for her is getting weaker and weaker. And I hate this. she was never like this before. She was loving and caring mother but now she is a drunkard. I am afraid of night. I always wish that there will be no night because mostly at the night my mom gets drunk. I hate to to see her like this. At first she wasn't that bad even after drinking but since few years she has become really bad. she started hitting me and my brother, she yelles at me she doesn't let me sleep all night by unnecessary shouting. She becomes different person after drinking. She even forget that I am her daughter....and in the morning when she sobers up she forgets about everything that happened last night which even I hate the most because if she doesn't remember how much pain she gives us after drinking than how will she stop drinking. I tried everything to make her normal but instead she is being more and more bad. it is really hard to see her like this...

"hey! where are you bitch ?"

Look! She started shouting. She must be drunk again]

"*come* *outside fast*! "

" *yes mom* ! "

Ji Ah runs out of her room

"*bring me food I am hungry* ! "

"*ok* "

Ji Ah run to the kitchen and brings food to her mom

" *here* *you go*! "

...her mom eats a little food but she throws all the food on the floor ,...

"*is this even a food ? Do you call this food ? it is so cold " (she yells at Ji Ah*)

"*so...sorry mom " (her voice tremble* )

"*bring me another food " (she yells*)

Ji Ah run to the kitchen and warm the food and again bring it to her mom,

but again she throws the food ,

" *do you want to burn my tongue you bitch ?do you want to die* ? "

she raised her hand to to hit Ji Ah but her brother Lee Hyun comes infront of her....

" *mom why do you always beat Ji Ah after getting drunk* "

"*do you also want to die* ? "

" *Hyun*! *please go inside your room* "

" *sister* ! "

" *Hyun* ! *go inside your room " (she yells at Hyun*)

he couldn't say anything to his sister and go inside her room

" *mom I will bring you another food to you* ! "

Ji Ah again goes inside the kitchen and brings food for her mom but she was already asleep in the sofa... she brings thin blanket from her room and puts on her mom,

after that she goes to her room and locks the door....she sit on the bed and tears roll down her cheek....

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