chapter 1 ┗(•ˇ_ˇ•)―→
author
Welcome 🤣get ready to get confuse
Morning chaos was routine in this house, but today was a special level of disaster.
Icey was in the kitchen, proudly tying her apron. She had decided, once again, that she would “prove everyone wrong” and cook breakfast.
Alex, her husband, froze in horror when he saw her cracking eggs into a pan already filled with… soy sauce, three chili peppers, and half a cup of orange juice.
Alex
Are you… trying to feed us breakfast or summon demons?
Icey 🎀
It’s called innovation. You wouldn’t understand.
Alex
I Call it attempted murder.
Before Icey could throw the spatula at him, Moonshine (great-great-grandma) hollered from her rocking chair in the living room:
Moonshine
LET THE WOMAN COOK! Even if it kills us!
Alex groaned. He knew what was coming: another “culinary disaster.” So, in a desperate attempt to save the family from food poisoning, he reached for the flour bag to start pancakes.
The moment he lifted it—WHOOSH! The bag exploded, covering him in white powder. His hair, eyelashes, and eyebrows disappeared into a cloud of flour, making him look like a haunted snowman.
Lian Beb (second uncle) strolled in at that exact moment, sipping coffee like he was walking into a commercial. He smirked.
lian beb
Bro, you look like expired donut powder. Should I bury you with sprinkles?
Alex, coughing, pointed at Icey’s pan of
Alex
Toxic stew.
At least I’m not trying to poison the family!
Right then, Snowflake (Icey’s daughter) stormed in, holding her phone.
Snowflake ❄️
MOM. WHAT IS THIS SMELL?! My friends will think I live in a garbage dump. And DAD—what are you even doing?!
She slipped on the floury floor, fell flat, and screamed:
Snowflake ❄️
THIS FAMILY SHOULD BE ILLEGAL!
Moonshine cackled like a villain.
Moonshine
That’s karma! Respect your ancestors, brat.
She smacked Snowflake’s head with her cane for emphasis.
Icey, offended, waved her spatula like a sword. “
Icey 🎀
Everyone criticizes me, but I’m a visionary chef!
Alex
Visionaries don’t put ketchup in pancakes!
Snowflake groaned dramatically.
Snowflake ❄️
I’m running away. I’ll live with the neighbor—they at least eat normal food!
Lian Beb adjusted his sunglasses, checked himself in the reflection of the microwave, and sighed.
lian beb
This family is chaos… but at least I’m beautiful.
The whole kitchen descended into shouting, flour footprints, and burning smells (Icey had left her “creation” unattended, which now smoked like a volcano).
Alex finally gave up and said,
Alex
Fine. Everyone out. I’m cooking before we all end up in the hospital.
Moonshine sipped her tea and declared:
Moonshine
Good. Make extra. And add vodka.
Comments
𝒮𝓃ℴ𝓌𝒻𝓁𝒶𝓀ℯ❄️
yeshhh u r /Sweat/
ig...
2025-09-04
1
𝒮𝓃ℴ𝓌𝒻𝓁𝒶𝓀ℯ❄️
ahemm...
let me live/Scowl/
2025-09-04
1
𝔜𝔲𝔞𝔫 𝔖𝔲𝔯𝔣𝔢𝔯
Icey we plan to go hell later not now ( ╹▽╹ )
2025-09-04
1