Everything's Fine_1
Bedroom – afternoon, quiet except for the ticking clock..
⏱️ Two minutes and thirty-five seconds. That’s how long it lasted this time. I know because I counted. I swore I wouldn’t — I promised myself I wasn’t the type to obsess over something as… trivial as this. But is it really trivial? When you’re thinking about forever with someone, is bad sex just… fluff you brush aside?
Minjae says he loves me. He tells me every day, in different ways, as if the words are his shield against every flaw we both know exists.
He was the first to say it — I still remember the way his voice cracked when he confessed he was falling for me. Back then, it flattered me.
I was honored. Someone like him choosing me? It felt like stepping into one of those romance novels I used to hide under my pillow.
Minjae groans softly, collapsing on top of me in missionary.
Taehyung smiles up at him politely, though his body feels heavy, unsatisfied, almost numb.
Minjae panting, chuckling softly, kissing the tip of my nose.
Minjae
Tae… that felt so good.
Did it? To him, maybe. To me… I don’t even know what it’s supposed to feel like. I’ve never had the release people talk about, never touched that place in myself that makes everything melt away.
I only know the weight of him above me, the smell of sweat, the awkward press of skin. And the guilt — because he’s my first, my only, and shouldn’t that mean something?
Minjae pulls out quickly, discards the condom, and heads into the bathroom without another glance.
[Sound: water running, shower on]
He always showers right after. Every time. I try not to overthink it, but the sound of the spray hitting tiles makes me feel dirty somehow — like I’m something to be rinsed off. I shouldn’t feel weird about this, right? People shower after sex all the time. Still… my chest tightens.
I roll onto my side, staring at the wall, wondering what an orgasm is really like. My sister Jennie won’t shut up about hers. She describes them with the kind of enthusiasm that makes me want to plug my ears.
And yet… I want to know. I want to feel it. But with Minjae, it never happens. Maybe the problem is me. Maybe I expect too much....
Minjae (calling from the bathroom)
Minjae
Hey! I need to run to the grocery store. Gonna pick up some steaks for dinner tonight.
Taehyung raising his voice just enough to carry
Kim Taehyung
Don’t we already have a freezer full from your hunting trips with your dad?"
Minjae
I want fresh ones. If I’m grilling, I need it right. Got a little surprise up my sleeve.
A surprise. My heart lurches. Could it be? The ring? The moment I’ve been waiting for?
My fingers twitch nervously against the sheets as I glance at my reflection in the full-length mirror. Not engagement-ready. My hair is messy, too long at the ends, and I’m wearing the most unromantic pajama set known to mankind. If he gets down on one knee tonight, I’ll look like a joke.
Minjae steps out of the bathroom, jeans and sports coat back on, hair damp.
He leans down, presses a kiss to the top of my head, then leaves.
Door shuts. The house grows quiet.
This is our life now. Sunday dinners, little routines. After a year of long-distance, after bouncing between his dorm and mine, we moved into this house he found in his hometown.
He made it sound like a fairy tale — saving money, buying instead of renting, our first home together. I wanted to believe it was a step toward something bigger, something real. Even though my father hated the idea. Even though his parents whispered “sin” under their breath. We did it anyway.
Sunday dinners became sacred. Just us. No phones, no TV, just two people at the table. It was supposed to be connection, intimacy. And I cling to that idea, because if I don’t, what do I have left?
I drag myself out of bed, catch my hair into a messy bun, and flop back down. A nap. Maybe if I dream, I’ll escape this restless feeling in my chest. Maybe in sleep, I’ll find the version of us that exists in my fantasies. Where sex isn’t clumsy. Where love isn’t heavy with doubt.
My eyes close. The hum of the clock fades. For a moment, I drift…
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